@credits to : Ong Luei Haw
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Developmental milestones in children
Every parent looks forward to the first time they see their baby smile and look into their eyes. Some keep detailed journals of baby’s progress and others call grandma with every milestone achieved. Because most children develop at different paces it is difficult to say what is ‘normal’ and what is not.
Developmental Areas
There are five primary developmental areas that professionals monitor. These are: physical development, language and speech development, social and emotional development, adaptive development, and cognitive development. Children may experience mild to severe delays in one or all the areas depending what the situation. If you are unsure that your child is on schedule it is important to seek the advice of a professional early on. Early intervention can make a world of difference in your child’s later development.
Physical Development
In the early days a newborn does not control much of his or her own movement. You baby will likely lie as if still in utero until the second month when he or she may start to relax and stretch out. Don’t expect a lot of interaction at this time. If you notice what you might consider excessive crying or vomiting (not spit up) then consult your pediatrician. Remember most babies cry and many spit up. Your doctor may reassure you that all is well and send you on your way.
By the sixth month your baby will likely be sitting up and reaching for objects. Don’t panic if it hasn’t happened yet. However, do discuss your concerns with your pediatrician. If he or she recommends an evaluation, it may only be a precaution. But it is better to err on the side of caution at this point.
By the twelfth month baby will likely be crawling and possibly even walking. Again, if your child isn’t crawling, it may be time for an evaluation by a developmental pediatrician. It’s not a time to panic; it is a time to become knowledgeable about child development and monitor your child’s progress carefully. While the average age for walking is fifteen months, it’s also not unusual for babies to start toddling at eighteen months.
By two years your child should be able to jump in place or off a step. He or she may be able to pedal a tricycle and climb the stairs without help. There is no concern if these skills don’t emerge right at the second birthday. However, if they are not evident at thirty months, do consult a professional.
Language and Speech Development
Babies are communicating long before actual words come out of their mouths. The first months their interactions may be limited to cries of hunger and cries to be held and cuddled. Do respond to your baby's attempts at relating his or her needs. This is the foundation by which language develops. If your child seems unusually silent or has not cooed or squealed by the third of fourth month, discuss your concerns with your pediatrician. Most likely the doctor may not be concerned. But he or she may order a hearing screening to rule out any problems.
Babies may start to form recognizable words anywhere from twelve months to two years. It’s generally expected that your toddler will understand simple language by 18 months and have twenty to fifty intelligible words by two years. If you hear no words by two years, don’t panic. This is not unusual, especially in boys. But do seek speech therapy for your child. Language is closely connected with cognitive development and you do not want your child at a disadvantage because of a communication problem.
Social and Emotional Development
Social skills start as early as the second month when your baby may start smiling responsively to you rather than the sleepy smile you might have noticed as he or she drifts off to sleep on a full tummy. Your baby might even start laughing by the fourth month. A cause for concern would be an unresponsiveness by the third or fourth month. Look for eye contact. If your baby does not make eye contact, do bring it to the attention of a professional so that he or she may be evaluated.
Emotional development can be become frustrating for the parents during the second half of your baby's first year and beyond. It is at this point that baby is starting to become mobile. Often separation anxiety comes at the time of mobility. It is thought that this is nature’s way of keeping baby close to mommy. While baby’s protests at mom or dad being away may be somewhat maddening, they are completely normal and healthy. It’s important not to try to sneak away when using a babysitter as you will breed mistrust and cause your child to cling more fervently when you are present for fear of you slipping away unnoticed. Try to gently but firmly say good-bye when you must go out and keep times away from your baby short if possible.
Adaptive Development
Adaptive development refers to the use of tools and things like motor planning (like learning to get down from the couch). These skills may not be evident until later in the first year. Baby should be pointing with one finger around twelve months and should be able to feed self finger foods around fifteen months. If these skills are missing, talk to your pediatrician and he or she may consult an occupational therapist to assess the situation.
Cognitive Development
Often the first sign of cognitive development noticed by parents is the learning of cause and effect. Babies may become interested in mobiles and baby gyms where they can swat at a hanging toy and watch it swing. Baby might also start to anticipate actions such as nursing when sitting in a special chair at about four months. If baby is not stacking blocks and sorting simple shapes by twenty-four months, then talk to your pediatrician about an evaluation.
It’s important to communicate well with your family doctor about all your concerns and your baby’s progress. You cannot expect a physician who sees your child for a few minutes each month to be able to spot possible concerns. And while parents shouldn’t be overly concerned if their child seems to be taking his or her time developing, the power of early intervention and professional help should not be overlooked. Keep track of your child’s milestones in his or her baby book and don’t hesitate to discuss them with his or her health care provider. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Developmental Areas
There are five primary developmental areas that professionals monitor. These are: physical development, language and speech development, social and emotional development, adaptive development, and cognitive development. Children may experience mild to severe delays in one or all the areas depending what the situation. If you are unsure that your child is on schedule it is important to seek the advice of a professional early on. Early intervention can make a world of difference in your child’s later development.
Physical Development
In the early days a newborn does not control much of his or her own movement. You baby will likely lie as if still in utero until the second month when he or she may start to relax and stretch out. Don’t expect a lot of interaction at this time. If you notice what you might consider excessive crying or vomiting (not spit up) then consult your pediatrician. Remember most babies cry and many spit up. Your doctor may reassure you that all is well and send you on your way.
By the sixth month your baby will likely be sitting up and reaching for objects. Don’t panic if it hasn’t happened yet. However, do discuss your concerns with your pediatrician. If he or she recommends an evaluation, it may only be a precaution. But it is better to err on the side of caution at this point.
By the twelfth month baby will likely be crawling and possibly even walking. Again, if your child isn’t crawling, it may be time for an evaluation by a developmental pediatrician. It’s not a time to panic; it is a time to become knowledgeable about child development and monitor your child’s progress carefully. While the average age for walking is fifteen months, it’s also not unusual for babies to start toddling at eighteen months.
By two years your child should be able to jump in place or off a step. He or she may be able to pedal a tricycle and climb the stairs without help. There is no concern if these skills don’t emerge right at the second birthday. However, if they are not evident at thirty months, do consult a professional.
Language and Speech Development
Babies are communicating long before actual words come out of their mouths. The first months their interactions may be limited to cries of hunger and cries to be held and cuddled. Do respond to your baby's attempts at relating his or her needs. This is the foundation by which language develops. If your child seems unusually silent or has not cooed or squealed by the third of fourth month, discuss your concerns with your pediatrician. Most likely the doctor may not be concerned. But he or she may order a hearing screening to rule out any problems.
Babies may start to form recognizable words anywhere from twelve months to two years. It’s generally expected that your toddler will understand simple language by 18 months and have twenty to fifty intelligible words by two years. If you hear no words by two years, don’t panic. This is not unusual, especially in boys. But do seek speech therapy for your child. Language is closely connected with cognitive development and you do not want your child at a disadvantage because of a communication problem.
Social and Emotional Development
Social skills start as early as the second month when your baby may start smiling responsively to you rather than the sleepy smile you might have noticed as he or she drifts off to sleep on a full tummy. Your baby might even start laughing by the fourth month. A cause for concern would be an unresponsiveness by the third or fourth month. Look for eye contact. If your baby does not make eye contact, do bring it to the attention of a professional so that he or she may be evaluated.
Emotional development can be become frustrating for the parents during the second half of your baby's first year and beyond. It is at this point that baby is starting to become mobile. Often separation anxiety comes at the time of mobility. It is thought that this is nature’s way of keeping baby close to mommy. While baby’s protests at mom or dad being away may be somewhat maddening, they are completely normal and healthy. It’s important not to try to sneak away when using a babysitter as you will breed mistrust and cause your child to cling more fervently when you are present for fear of you slipping away unnoticed. Try to gently but firmly say good-bye when you must go out and keep times away from your baby short if possible.
Adaptive Development
Adaptive development refers to the use of tools and things like motor planning (like learning to get down from the couch). These skills may not be evident until later in the first year. Baby should be pointing with one finger around twelve months and should be able to feed self finger foods around fifteen months. If these skills are missing, talk to your pediatrician and he or she may consult an occupational therapist to assess the situation.
Cognitive Development
Often the first sign of cognitive development noticed by parents is the learning of cause and effect. Babies may become interested in mobiles and baby gyms where they can swat at a hanging toy and watch it swing. Baby might also start to anticipate actions such as nursing when sitting in a special chair at about four months. If baby is not stacking blocks and sorting simple shapes by twenty-four months, then talk to your pediatrician about an evaluation.
It’s important to communicate well with your family doctor about all your concerns and your baby’s progress. You cannot expect a physician who sees your child for a few minutes each month to be able to spot possible concerns. And while parents shouldn’t be overly concerned if their child seems to be taking his or her time developing, the power of early intervention and professional help should not be overlooked. Keep track of your child’s milestones in his or her baby book and don’t hesitate to discuss them with his or her health care provider. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Spatial Intelligence in the Classroom
Source: Pearson Allyn Bacon Prentice Hall
Topics: Preschool, Middle Years (5-9), Preteen Years (9-13), Intelligence Defined, Visual-Spatial Learners
An early childhood curriculum that understands and respects spatial intelligence takes three guiding principles into consideration.
- Spatial intelligence requires an awareness of body and material boundaries.
- Spatial intelligence develops in stages (Brittain and Lowenfeld, 1964).
- Spatial intelligence reveals the child’s perceptions, interests, and understandings (Brittain and Lowenfeld, 1964).
Boundaries
Body Awareness Three-year-old children will often bump into, step over, and touch one another. This is due to a lack of body boundaries. An awareness of body boundaries is a foundation for self-control. Body boundaries can be explored through mirror play, gross-motor play, and outdoor play. Mirror activities can help the child to see where her body is, and how it moves in space.
Movement is extremely important in the young child’s life. Movement indoors and outdoors allows the child to develop an awareness of where her body is and how her body moves through space. This awareness will provide a foundation for being able to move the body skillfully and purposefully in the environment.
Material Awareness After a child has developed an understanding of her body boundaries, she can explore spatial intelligence through material awareness and boundaries.
Many times when a young child of two scribbles, the scribbles go off the paper. As the young child perceives her paper boundaries more clearly, she is able to stay within the boundaries of the paper. As the child’s material boundary awareness increases, she is able to keep her materials organized and in close proximity. She respects the boundaries of her materials and of others and can use the materials to express and develop her spatial potential.
Environmental Awareness Awareness of her place in the environment is also significant to the child’s spatial development. Preschool children will begin noticing and manipulating shapes in their play environment. They will notice similarities and differences in shapes and structures. They will begin to verbalize an understanding of structural opposites (tall/short, big/little). Opportunities to explore shapes sensorially lead to spatial development. Children will identify, move, create, and manipulate shapes in the environment. Blocks of different shapes and textures, puzzles, gears, nuts and bolts, and other objects of varying shapes and sizes allow children to move, manipulate, and explore shape concepts. Montessori equipment such as geometric solids, metal insets, trinomial and binomial cubes, and knobless cylinders allow children to explore the concept of shape in the environment.
Playing with blocks allows the child to represent their environment through the creation of a model. It also helps the child to develop balance and symmetry, and allows the child to create a scaled-down version of their environment.
Preschool and kindergarten children will be able to locate and recognize familiar landmarks and streets that symbolize the way to grandma’s house, preschool, or the park. An unexpected or alternate route to these places will often confuse a child. Young children are also able to recognize the functions of specific buildings in the environment. They recognize the firehouse, police station, school, library, and hospital and have an understanding of the functions of the buildings. The children are interested in landmarks in the environment that are directly related to their everyday life. Preschool and kindergarten children will represent their environment through block structures and art representation. The child might also be interested in simple mapmaking.
As children approach the end of the preoperational period of development, their egocentrism begins to be replaced by an awareness of, and eagerness to know and represent, others. The child acknowledges and recognizes that others may have a different point of view. The child is more interested in gaining a spatial perspective on where he/she is in relationship to others in the classroom, school, community, state, country, world, and universe. Map and globe activities will become important and relevant spatial tools. Maps and globes allow the child to begin to organize the environment and become aware of environmental boundaries that exists outside of the community. The child will create maps of her own.
Perceptions, Interests, and Understandings
In order to maximize the art experience for children and help them develop spatial intelligence, a question must be asked to clarify the purpose of arts education in the early childhood classroom. Lowenfeld and Brittain (1964, p. 52), authors of Creative and Mental Development, ask, “Do we study it [art] for our purpose of gaining insight into the child’s growth, his experiences, his emotions, his interest? Or do we want to evaluate the child’s work for the purpose of showing him his strengths, his weaknesses, his creative abilities, his skillfulness or his lack of skill; in other words, to classify him?” This query is extremely significant. When art is used as a tool of evaluation and classification of children, the creativity and individual expression of the child is lost. The child’s potential may not be fully realized in an evaluative art program. Many times adults value, classify, and judge children’s artwork without even realizing it. Oftentimes children are told their project “does not look like the model,” is messy, or was not made following the directions. Even positive comments can seem evaluative. Calling artwork “beautiful” or “pretty,” or telling the child it’s “done right” is evaluative. The young child has a need to create art for the sole purpose of creating art. The purpose should never be to please an adult, to copy an adult model, or to meet adult expectations. What an adult might deem as messy may be a physical, artistic outlet of an experience for a young child. When art is used as a tool to gain insight into a child’s perceptions, interests, and understandings, the experience itself becomes much more significant and the capacity for spatial development can be realized.
Development of Spatial Intelligence and Symbols
Lowenfeld and Brittain (1964) describe stages of artistic growth, which can be appropriately applied to spatial or perceptual growth. These stages reflect recognizable form development and the spatial representation capacity of the child.
Scribbling Children from the ages of two to four are typically in the scribbling stage of development. There is a progression of scribbling. Children begin with disorganized scribbling. (This disorganization can be applied to other spatial tasks as well.) Children who are engaged in disorganized scribbling make random marks on a page, scatter block materials, have difficulty completing puzzles, have a lack of body awareness, and demonstrate an inability to organize materials.
Disorganized scribbling is indicative of sensory play. Scribbles are made simply for the physical experience. The focus should be on the process of scribbling, not on a final product. The scribbling stage is necessary for the development of spatial intelligence and for creativity to flourish. Slowly, the scribbling becomes more controlled.
Controlled scribbling is indicative of the motor stage of play. The child begins to experiment with and manipulate materials. The child does not often attend to the boundaries. Marks frequently go off the paper and onto the table or the floor. Various unrecognizable forms and shapes begin to appear. Eventually the child will begin to name these forms. The naming process usually consists of the action in the activity. For example, the child will call his picture “running,” “hopping,” or “daddy driving” (Brittain and Lowenfeld, 1964.) The naming aspect of scribbling signals the beginning of an awareness of symbol functionality.
In addition to facilitating body, material, and environmental awareness, sensory perception is significant to spatial intelligence. Experiences which allow the child to use and develop the five senses are critical for the development of spatial intelligence. Lecturing to young children does not encourage full sensory development to take place. Experiences that allow the child to engage in sensory and motor play increase sensory perception. Materials that encourage sensory development include light tables, sand and water, textured materials, and natural materials.
Light tables offer children an opportunity to manipulate objects in space in response to the objects’ shape, color, warmth, and texture. Manipulating transparent shapes, colored sand, colored rice, leaves, seeds, flowers, and other objects on the light table can help the child explore his visual and tactile perception and appreciate the aesthetic qualities of the materials.
Sand and water play offer tactile and visual perceptual experiences. Materials with different textures, colors, shapes, smells, and sounds need to be available to children.
Montessori equipment such as kinetic cylinders, color tablets, knobless cylinders, touch boards, touch tablets, thermic bottles, and sandpaper letters encourage spatial growth.
Preschematic From the ages of four to seven, children move into the preschematic stage of development. This stage is characterized by recognizable forms; however, these forms are not detailed and do not have a theme (Brittain and Lowenfeld, 1964). The child experiments with body representations and forms are drawn all over the page. There is a respect for paper boundaries, but no baseline exists in the picture. Block forms become recognizable. The child is able to put together simple puzzles, is able to purposely create original and recognizable shapes, and is able to begin to manage the body appropriately through space and around others.
Schematic School-age children from ages seven to nine are typically involved in the schematic stage of development. Schematic activities are those that have a common and consistent theme. The ideas behind drawings, movements, projects, and blocks are related to one another. Common themes often are the human body and those that reflect an awareness of spatial relationships. Feelings and actions are incorporated into creative activities that reflect the child’s whole self. The development of the schema signifies less egocentric thinking and demonstrates a perception of how others influence the activity (Brittain and Lowenfeld, 1964).
Gang Age After a child has become more attuned to others, he/she enters the next stage of development, the gang age. The gang age occurs between the ages of nine and eleven. Children’s activities begin to become influenced by social pressures and acceptance. The child begins to express independence and separates from parents. This happens because of the greater understanding the child has of his/her self and the environment. The child develops a deeper understanding of what is real. Generalizations and characterizations are made in creative activities. The child moves away from the schematic representation to a more naturalistic representation (Brittain and Lowenfeld, 1964).
Responding to Symbol Development
It is necessary to respond to children’s symbol making appropriately. An adult can discuss the child’s artwork as the process is unfolding if the child is willing. Questions and comments such as, “I see you are using lots of yellow,” “Tell me about your picture,” and “I can see you are working hard” are appropriate. Questions and comments such as “What is that?” “The sun is yellow, why would you make it green?” and “You’re not doing it right,” are evaluative and judge the child and would be inappropriate.
The child’s presentation of spatial symbols can suggest evidence of a particular developmental stage. The symbols can also be used to assess a strength or challenge that may exist in a spatial domain.
Credits to Lee Phooi Yin (T4)
Common Chromosomal and Genetic Disorders in Children
Chromosome Abnormalities
Children with chromosome abnormalities are born with an irregular number of chromosomes (more than or fewer than 46) or with one or more chromosomes that have irregular structures (deletions from or duplications to parts of an individual chromosome, or with a part of one chromosome moved to another location).
Down Syndrome
Incidence
1 per 700-1,000 births
Characteristicsa
Children with Down syndrome have one extra chromosome. Physical characteristics include a protruding tongue, thick lips, flat nose, short neck, wide gaps between toes, short fingers, specific health problems, and risks for heart problems and hearing loss. Mental retardation can range from mild to severe. Children often have good visual discrimination skills and may be better at understanding verbal language than producing it.
Implications for Care
Provide explicit instruction in any delayed skills (e.g., in language). Address health issues such as heart problems and potential feeding difficulties.
Klinefelter Syndrome
Incidence
1 per 500-1,000 boys
Characteristicsa
Only boys have Klinefelter syndrome; they have one Y chromosome and two X chromosomes. Diagnosis may not occur until adolescence, when testes fail to enlarge. Affected boys tend to have long legs, to grow modest breast tissue, a/1d to remain sterile. They tend to show lower than average verbal ability and some speech and language delays.
Implications for Care
Offer an enriched verbal environment. Medical treatment may be given to support development of male sexual characteristics.
Turner Syndrome
Incidence
1 per 2,500-5,000 girls
Characteristicsa
Only girls have Turner syndrome; they have one X chromosome and are missing the second sex chromosome. Affected girls have broad chests, webbed necks, short stature, and specific health problems. They do not show normal sexual development. They may show normal verbal ability but lower than average ability in processing visual and spatial information.
Implications for Care
Provide instruction and support related to visual and spatial processing. Hormone therapy helps with bone growth and development of female characteristics.
Prader-Willi Syndrome
Incidence
1 per 10,000-25,000 births
Characteristicsa
A deletion from a gene segment on chromosome 15 is inherited from the father. Children with this syndrome tend to become obese and show mental retardation; they also have small hands and feet and are short in stature. They may develop maladaptive behaviors such as throwing frequent temper tantrums and picking at their own skin. Beginning at ages 1-6, children may eat excessively, hoard food, and eat unappealing substances.
Implications for Care
Create developmentally appropriate plans to help children regulate eating, decrease inappropriate behaviors, and increase acceptable emotional expression. Seek medical care as necessary.
Angelman Syndrome
Incidence
1 per 10,000-30,000 births
Characteristicsa
A deletion from a gene segment on chromosome 1 5 is inherited from the mother. Children with this syndrome show mental retardation, a small head, seizures, and jerky movements. They have unusual, recurrent bouts of laughter not associated with happiness.
Implications for Care
Provide appropriate educational support suited to children's skills and developmental levels. Seek medical care as necessary.
Single-Gene Defects
Children with single-gene defects have a problem on a dominant gene (an error on one of the 22 paired chromosomes, that is, on any chromosome except X or Yb), a recessive defect on both chromosomes in One of the 22 matched pairs, or a problem in a recessive gene on the X chromosome (boys) or a problem in a gene on both X chromosomes (girls).
Neurofibromatosis
Incidence
Mild form occurs in 1 per 2,500-4,000 births; severe form occurs in 1 per 40,000-50,000 births
Characteristicsa
Children with this dominant-gene defect develop benign and malignant tumors in the central nervous system. The condition may be caused by an error in a gene that would normally suppress tumor growth. Learning disabilities are somewhat common and mental retardation occurs occasionally. Most individuals experience only minor symptoms, such as having colored and elevated spots on their skin.
Implications for Care
Address learning disabilities; offer adaptive services to children with mental retardation. Tumors may need to be removed or treated. Surgery or braces may be needed if the spine becomes twisted.
Huntington Disease (HD)
Incidence
3 to 7 per 100,000 births
Characteristicsa
Children with this dominant-gene defect develop a progressive disorder of the central nervous system. Signs typically appear by age 35 to 45, though age of first symptoms has varied between 2 and 85 years. HD may be caused by the production of a protein that destroys brain cells. Early signs include irritability, clumsiness, depression, and forgetfulness. Eventually, loss of control over movements of arms, legs, torso, or facial muscles occurs, speech becomes slurred, and severe mental disturbances arise.
Implications for Care
Remove sharp edges from the physical environment. When memory deteriorates, provide visual instructions about daily tasks. Medication may be given to alleviate movement problems and depression.
Phenylketonuria (PKU)
Incidence
1 per 15,000 births, with rates highest in people of Celtic origin (e.g., from Ireland and Scotland)
Characteristicsa
Children with this recessive-gene defect are at risk for developing mental retardation, eczema, seizures, and motor and behavioral problems such as aggression, self-mutilation, and impulsiveness. When children have both recessive genes for PKU, their livers cannot produce an enzyme that breaks down phenylalanine (an amino acid); this substance accumulates and becomes toxic to the brain.
Implications for Care
Provide educational materials to enhance planning and memory skills and compensate for limitations. When phenylalanine is restricted from diet, children develop much more normally, and mental retardation is avoided. Subtle problems may still result (e.g., awkward pencil grip and learning disabilities).
Sickle Cell Disease
Incidence
1 per 500-600 children of African (Black) descent; rates are also elevated in people of Mediterranean descent
Characteristicsa
Children with this recessive-gene defect develop problems with blood circulation. The disease causes red blood cells to grow rigid, and passage of blood through small vessels causes pain. Children may experience many serious conditions, including stroke, infection, tissue damage, and fatigue. Symptoms become obvious during the first or second year of life.
Implications for Care
Be alert to medical crises, such as strokes. Offer comfort to children who are tired or in pain. Treatments include blood transfusions, medication for pain and infections, and other medicines to reduce frequency of medical crises.
Cystic Fibrosis (CF)
Incidence
1 per 3,300 children from European American backgrounds and 1 per 9,500 children from Hispanic American backgrounds
Characteristicsa
Children with this recessive-gene defect have glands that produce large amounts of abnormally thick, sticky mucus, which creates serious problems for breathing and digestion. CF is usually noticed in infancy due to persistent coughing, wheezing, pneumonia, and big appetite with little weight gain. Many individuals with CF now live well into their 40s.
Implications for Care
Be aware of symptoms that require medical care. The condition is often treated with physical therapy, medication, and bronchial drainage.
Tay-Sachs Disease
Incidence
1 per 2,500-3,600 children among Ashkenazi Jews (of Eastern European ancestry)
Characteristicsa
Children with this recessive-gene defect develop a fatal, degenerative condition of the central nervous system. They lack an enzyme required to break down a fatty substance in brain cells. At about 6 months of age, children slow down in development, lose vision, display an abnormal startle response, and go into convulsions. Other functions are gradually lost, and children become mentally retarded, cannot move, and die by age 3 or 4.
Implications for Care
Offer love and attention as you would to other children. Be alert to new accommodations that may be needed in the environment, such as stabilizing and securing the surroundings when children lose sight. There is no known cure or treatment.
Thalassemia (Cooley's Anemia)
Incidence
1 in 800-2,500 individuals of Greek or Italian descent in the U.S.; rates are lower in other groups
Characteristicsa
Children with this recessive-gene defect develop a disease of blood cells in which oxygen is not transmitted effectively. They become pale, fatigued, and irritable within their first 2 years of life. Individuals with serious forms of the condition may develop feeding problems, diarrhea, and enlargement of the spleen and heart, infections, and unusual facial features and bone structures. Young people severely impaired by this condition sometimes die by early adulthood.
Implications for Care
Help children to cope with their health problems. Treatment may include blood transfusions, antibiotics, and occasionally bone marrow transplants.
Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy
Incidence
1 per 3,000 to 4,000 boys
Characteristicsa
Only boys acquire this X-linked recessive-gene defect, which causes a progressive muscular weakness because of a gene's failure to produce an essential protein needed by muscle cells. Between ages 2 and 5, affected boys begin to stumble and walk on their toes or with another unusual gait. They may lose the ability to walk between ages 8 and 14 and may later die from respiratory and cardiac problems.
Implications for Care
Watch for respiratory infections and heart problems. Treatments include physical therapy, orthopedic devices, surgery, and medications to reduce muscle stiffness.
Notes
aThis table describes typical symptoms for children with particular chromosomal and genetic problems. Children's actual level of functioning depends on the medical treatments they receive; their experiences with families, teachers, other caregivers, and other children; and their health and other genes they might possess. New medical treatments and educational interventions are constantly being tested, and many will increase quality of life for these children.
bX-linked dominant defects also occur but are rare. For example, children who receive the gene for Hypophosphatemia on the X chromosome produce low levels of phosphate and. a result, have soft bones that are easily deformed.
Sources: Blachford, 2002; Burns et al., 2000; Cody & Kamphaus, 1999; Dykens & Cassidy, 1999; Massimini, 2000; K. L. Moore & Persaud, 2003; Nilsson & Bradford, 1999; M. P. ""I & Schulte, 1999; J. T. Smith, 1999; Waisbren, 1999; Wynbrandt & Ludman, 2000.
Credits to Lee Phooi Yin (T4)
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Nurturing Your Child's Creativity
A growing source of concern is the lack of creativity children are expressing in their interest at home and at school. Parents are wondering what they can do to nurture creativity. Here are a few simple guidelines that can help you ensure that your child’s creativity will prosper.
1. Avoid training your child that they are to be entertained. Whether it’s constant TV watching, playing video games, or trips to the theme park, or weekly shopping expeditions, kids are becoming more and more conditioned to expect entertainment. This is probably the most dangerous threat to your child’s creativity. If they are allowed to spend endless hours seeking passive entertainment, without active engagement, it is clear that their creative capacities will suffer.
2. Creativity is like a muscle….it has to be worked. Kids come into the world with remarkable imaginations, and an almost endless capacity for creativity. In various ways, both obvious and not so obvious, kids are taught to stifle their creativity.
This begins in little ways, when they are taught to color only inside the lines. Much learning involves replicating and duplicating exactly what it taught. Limited value gets placed upon creative activities in school, and instead exclusive emphasis is put on the hard “sciences.”
If you want creativity to prosper, you have to work this muscle.
3. If you want creative children, raise them in a creative environment.
As I have mentioned in other articles, you cannot escape what you model. If your kids grow up in an environment where you model creativity and using your imagination, they can’t help but become a part of this.
Like it or not, children emulate their parents. The more that you expose them to an environment where you are thinking out of the box…decorating out of the box….creating out of the box….you’ll help your kids to think out of the box and to act in ways that are not preprogrammed.
4. Expose kids to play that requires creative components.
Instead of exposure to passive entertainment, fill your home with toys and materials that require creativity. Make sure there are lots of legos, building blocks, and crayons and paper to draw on.
When it is time to decorate a room, invite your kids to be a part of this. When it is time to paint a wall, ask them to come up with a creative idea.
5. Engage kids in creative problem solving around the house.
As kids get older, invite them to creativity come up with solutions with you. When it’s time to plan a new garden, get the family involved in the garden plan.
When it’s time to redecorate a room, put all the furniture in the middle of the room and ask them to help come up with options. When their bicycle chain keeps hopping off its sprocket, rather than fixing it for them….invite them to come up with a solution that could permanently fix the problem.
The common denominator here is to ask. Ask your children for input. Ask them for a creative solution. Keep them engaged in a home environment where creativity is a constant part of the mutual problem solving that occurs.
6. Make sure that you notice moments of creativity.
Especially during the younger years, give energy to moments of your child’s creativity. Rather than ignoring them when they’re playing in creative ways, or working their imagination, spend a few moments noticing them doing these activities.
You must give energy to the activities that you value….if you want those characteristics to grow. In the case of creativity, you can do your part by making sure that you catch your kids…while they are being creative. Don’t wait until the project is over….catch them while it’s happening.
In this way, you invest your energy in what you really value. This will ensure that you use every ounce of your influence to nurture those creative juices and to keep that muscle strong.
1. Avoid training your child that they are to be entertained. Whether it’s constant TV watching, playing video games, or trips to the theme park, or weekly shopping expeditions, kids are becoming more and more conditioned to expect entertainment. This is probably the most dangerous threat to your child’s creativity. If they are allowed to spend endless hours seeking passive entertainment, without active engagement, it is clear that their creative capacities will suffer.
2. Creativity is like a muscle….it has to be worked. Kids come into the world with remarkable imaginations, and an almost endless capacity for creativity. In various ways, both obvious and not so obvious, kids are taught to stifle their creativity.
This begins in little ways, when they are taught to color only inside the lines. Much learning involves replicating and duplicating exactly what it taught. Limited value gets placed upon creative activities in school, and instead exclusive emphasis is put on the hard “sciences.”
If you want creativity to prosper, you have to work this muscle.
3. If you want creative children, raise them in a creative environment.
As I have mentioned in other articles, you cannot escape what you model. If your kids grow up in an environment where you model creativity and using your imagination, they can’t help but become a part of this.
Like it or not, children emulate their parents. The more that you expose them to an environment where you are thinking out of the box…decorating out of the box….creating out of the box….you’ll help your kids to think out of the box and to act in ways that are not preprogrammed.
4. Expose kids to play that requires creative components.
Instead of exposure to passive entertainment, fill your home with toys and materials that require creativity. Make sure there are lots of legos, building blocks, and crayons and paper to draw on.
When it is time to decorate a room, invite your kids to be a part of this. When it is time to paint a wall, ask them to come up with a creative idea.
5. Engage kids in creative problem solving around the house.
As kids get older, invite them to creativity come up with solutions with you. When it’s time to plan a new garden, get the family involved in the garden plan.
When it’s time to redecorate a room, put all the furniture in the middle of the room and ask them to help come up with options. When their bicycle chain keeps hopping off its sprocket, rather than fixing it for them….invite them to come up with a solution that could permanently fix the problem.
The common denominator here is to ask. Ask your children for input. Ask them for a creative solution. Keep them engaged in a home environment where creativity is a constant part of the mutual problem solving that occurs.
6. Make sure that you notice moments of creativity.
Especially during the younger years, give energy to moments of your child’s creativity. Rather than ignoring them when they’re playing in creative ways, or working their imagination, spend a few moments noticing them doing these activities.
You must give energy to the activities that you value….if you want those characteristics to grow. In the case of creativity, you can do your part by making sure that you catch your kids…while they are being creative. Don’t wait until the project is over….catch them while it’s happening.
In this way, you invest your energy in what you really value. This will ensure that you use every ounce of your influence to nurture those creative juices and to keep that muscle strong.
Building Your Child's Self-Esteem
According to researchers, most children enter school with a good sense of self-esteem (at least as defined by psychologists) and yet leave high school with a poor sense of self-esteem. What happens in those years between starting school and finishing school?
If we are to define self-esteem as “having feelings of worth or value,” then people with adequate levels of self-esteem should display a sense of realistic confidence in their abilities and performance. People with low levels of self-esteem would be expected to display feelings of inadequacy, a fear of failure, a sense of being unworthy, and perhaps depression. It is estimated that 25-35% of children have Learning Disabilities. At least 5% have Attention Disorders. All too many times during the course of their academic careers these children are labeled by teachers (or parents) as being “lazy,” or “stupid.” Remarks of this type are typically interpreted by the child as, “You’re no good,” and the self-esteem levels drop.
At least 50% of children will experience the divorce of their parents prior to turning 18 years old. Most children, for whatever reasons too complicated to go into here, will tend to place at least a portion of the blame for the parent’s divorce on themselves. Since the parents are typically placed on a pedestal in the eyes of the child, the blame for the divorce cannot be placed on the parents and must be placed elsewhere, most commonly on themselves. This also significantly impacts children’s self-esteem levels.
There are other important challenges to maintaining reasonable self-esteem, such as merely being “average” in a world that worships only the good looking, the good athletes, and the well-to-do.
Can too much Self-Esteem be bad for you?
Let me say here and now that inappropriately high levels of self-esteem may be worse that low levels. Levels of self-esteem that are too high lead kids to believe that they are more important than anyone else, and that they should never be frustrated by work or challenges in life. It leads young people to believe that they should always have their way. Inflated levels of self-esteem ultimately discourages children and teens from learning how to work hard, and sometimesl leads into criminal behavior. Anti-social and criminal behavior is fueled by the criminal believing that his wants and needs are more important than the needs, wants, or rights of others.
Inflated levels of self-esteem also are directly at odds with the development of one’s spirituality and relationship with God. After all, who needs to develop a relationship with God when he believes that he is more important, or intelligent, or more powerful than God? People are cheated in every important aspect of their lives, emotionally, socially, and spiritually, when their sense of self-esteem is inflated.
So how can we instill appropriate levels of self-esteem in our children? Briefly, here are five key thoughts . . .
First, change the way that you look at this area of life from “self-esteem” to “self-confidence.” There is a difference as wide as the sea. To “esteem” someone, including one’s self, involves feelings of “reverence” or “awe” or “honor” or “glory.” Words have meaning. Let’s not get carried away with trying to make our kids feel good about themselves by starting to ascribe to them positions of honor normally reserved for Presidents and Kings, and perhaps for God. The majority of our society’s problems are caused by people thinking that they are more important than anyone else in the world. This is not something that we really want to encourage in our children, or in ourselves.
Instead we do want to encourage self-confidence. This attribute becomes especially powerful and beautiful when paired with the virtue of self-control. Raise your children to have these two character traits, and you will have wonderful and successful children.
My Children Will Be Perfect, Good, Happy, Confident and Successful Kids!
My Children Will Be Perfect, Good, Happy, Confident and Successful Kids!
I knew that being a parent would be difficult, but as a trained educational psychologist I foolishly expected to employ all my know-how and to be able to create perfect, well adjusted, confident children. Not the case, of course! Lashings of praise, love and encouragement and they still fear failure and lack confidence to some extent - but what might they have been like without it? They are though, happy, resilient, honest, thoughtful and decent kids - appreciating that at 12 years old they still have time to change - and I am proud of them (and indeed, myself)!
Obviously, one cannot completely protect one's offspring from the cruelties of today's world or shield them from spiteful or bullying peers, but one can help to build them up, strengthening and supporting as they take their first steps into independence.
The main thing which has been driven home is that all we can do is 'the best with the raw material we have'! Kids are born different and need different approaches and levels of encouragement. My son responds very badly to negative reinforcement - he rebels and grows angry, and if he is already in trouble he feels he has nothing to lose and will go for broke - but telling him he has been doing really well and that I need him to be helpful and 'my good boy' makes him bend over backwards to do what I ask and to please. He physically grows in stature and self-esteem. My daughter would not fall for that, but complies readily with a calm rebuke.
Your child is a human being with rights, and valid opinions and views. Encourage and foster rather than fight independence. Communicate, listen and show respect for their wishes (have a set time each day where you have quality time and really talk). Don't lash out in anger - that is giving the message that it is OK to be abusive - where possible, ignore unwanted or volatile behaviour, walk away and later address sticking points again when both calm. A good boss works with emotional intelligence and demonstrates empathy; parenting is the same. Be prepared to apologise to the child if you get it wrong.
Obviously, one cannot completely protect one's offspring from the cruelties of today's world or shield them from spiteful or bullying peers, but one can help to build them up, strengthening and supporting as they take their first steps into independence.
Know your child
The main thing which has been driven home is that all we can do is 'the best with the raw material we have'! Kids are born different and need different approaches and levels of encouragement. My son responds very badly to negative reinforcement - he rebels and grows angry, and if he is already in trouble he feels he has nothing to lose and will go for broke - but telling him he has been doing really well and that I need him to be helpful and 'my good boy' makes him bend over backwards to do what I ask and to please. He physically grows in stature and self-esteem. My daughter would not fall for that, but complies readily with a calm rebuke.Treat each child with respect
Your child is a human being with rights, and valid opinions and views. Encourage and foster rather than fight independence. Communicate, listen and show respect for their wishes (have a set time each day where you have quality time and really talk). Don't lash out in anger - that is giving the message that it is OK to be abusive - where possible, ignore unwanted or volatile behaviour, walk away and later address sticking points again when both calm. A good boss works with emotional intelligence and demonstrates empathy; parenting is the same. Be prepared to apologise to the child if you get it wrong.Building Self-esteem In Your Child
One of the best lessons that parents can teach their children is that you don't need to be the same as everyone else in order to fit in. Have you seen many jigsaws where all the pieces were the same shape and size? It's the diversity of the human race that adds to our unique beauty and individuality. It's what makes us special and that is the message that we need to communicate to our children.
Feeling Different Everyone is different, but problems can arise when a child feels that everyone else shares a common trait that they don't. The larger child, for instance, can feel isolated because they perceive everyone else as slim and feel that they are less valid as a person because they are made to feel uncomfortable about their size, often by insensitive taunts from other children who make unkind references to their weight as though it is something of which to be ashamed. When my eldest son was 14, he gained a lot of weight and I recall how distraught he was when my partner's inconsiderate and callous sons referred to him as "Lard" rather than his real name of Kristian.
Feeling different can batter some children's self-esteem, whereas others view it positively and build on their individuality to become great achievers. A lot depends on the child's individual personality, but there are techniques that every parent can employ to help nourish and elevate a child's self-esteem and confidence.
Building Self-Esteem Begins at Birth Touch is the first sense to develop and this is the first way that infants begin to learn about the world around them. One of the best ways to bond with your baby and begin the self-esteem building process is through infant massage, but this is also a time to interact verbally with your baby.
Emma Miller, D.Div, Child and Family Specialist and creator of the Gentle Touch® Program advises asking your baby for permission before touching her. Whilst a parent may feel that it is his or her right to touch a baby of their own, they are not considering the wishes of the baby. Emma says, "Remembering that infants are highly interactive from the beginning is an important part of not taking them for granted." When you ask your baby for permission to touch her, it encourages and teachers her to respond and makes her feel important and needed. "This is the foundation for healthy self-esteem and the ability to be honest with herself and her feelings," says Emma.
In general, the higher a child's self-esteem, the more competent they are at dealing with the unpleasant situations that life deals and that includes other people's attitudes towards them. An overweight or disabled child, for example, will be more capable of dealing with cruel taunts from unkind children and will still be able to maintain a sense of self-worth, irrespective of any insensitive jibes that are thrown at them. The higher a child's self-esteem before adolescence, the more adept they will be at coping with negative peer pressure.
Self-Esteem and The Larger Child Despite the numerous "big is beautiful" campaigns, promoting the interests of the larger person, the media continues to glamorise thinness and represent larger people as objects of ridicule. Unfortunately, children are very much influenced by what they see and hear, not only on the TV and in magazines, but also from the mouths of adults, including their parents. If a child hears their parents referring to someone's size in an unkind way, they grow up believing that being fat is socially unacceptable. How sad it is, therefore, if such children end up struggling with their own weight or don't conform to the "rake thin" ideal. The way is simply being paved for potential eating disorders, self-image problems and low self-esteem.
In fact, many children will go through periods where they seem to be growing outwards rather than upwards and yet many of these may end up as slim, strapping six footers. However, the emotional scars that were formed as tubby youngsters may remain with them for life. In fact, the body needs fat to survive and it is as harmful, if not more, to be underweight than it is to be overweight.
There are many larger children who are popular and outgoing individuals who have recognised that personality, talent and likeability isn't shaped by size. Acceptance builds self-esteem and when parents accept their children, they learn to accept themselves and in turn will be accepted by others. If a parent makes cruel references to a child's size, he may become withdrawn, insecure and anxious and lack the confidence to make friends. After all, if a child cannot accept himself because his parents object to his size, how can he expect anyone else to accept him?
Being overweight is not a crime, but if you feel that your child has a serious weight problem and are concerned about his or her health, there are steps that you can take to help the situation without forcing the child into uncomfortable eating or exercise regimes. Substituting high-fat foods for lower-fat options without changing drastically changing the diet can significantly reduce your child's calorie intake. Encouraging your child to be more active by engaging in fun activities as a family, rather than a competitive team sport, will not only boost his metabolism and improve his fitness levels, but may interest him in new pursuits where he may feel a sense of achievement, which in turn boosts self-esteem.
Even though your child may not initially feel confident enough to throw a cool reply in the direction of a taunter, it can often be extremely effective. An example of such a riposte could be:
"Yes, I might not be skinny, but at least I have a good heart and I don't judge other people by the way they look. You, for instance, have got big ears and yet I'm sure that doesn't change the person that you are inside, nor make you any more sensitive to other people's feelings."
Self-Esteem and Ethnic Minorities
It has always seemed bizarre to me why someone should be made to feel different or is ostracised simply because they have a higher level of pigment in their skin, or were born into a different religion. Nevertheless, racial bullying exists and, as with other types of abuse, it can have a devastating effect on a child's self-esteem. However, it is important for the child to understand that any difference in any culture can be the basis of prejudice. A white child may be teased by other white children because he wears glasses, or is perceived to be stupid, or has elderly parents, divorced parents or does not live up to the ideal of a particular group at a particular time.
The way in which we often try to feel good about ourselves is by focusing on comparisons with our peer group. If we possess a quality or skill that we feel is good, then we prefer to think that it is unique or that there are not many others with the same feature or talent. However, if we possess a quality that we do not feel is a positive attribute, then we prefer it if we know that there are many others like us. Therefore, if a child feels that having a different colour skin to the rest of his friends is not an advantage, then he or she is more likely to be negatively affected by any taunts that are directly related to his race.
If your child is upset by unkind taunts about her colour, you could point out that if being coloured is so unappealing, then why do so many white people fry their bodies in the sun every summer in pursuit of darker-coloured skin? Teach her to be proud of who she is, her uniqueness as a person and her personal talents. Everybody has them.
Irrespective of any prejudices that parents might hold, it is important not to pass these onto their children. Teaching them tolerance and conflict resolution skills and exposing them to cultural diversity from an early age, will help them to deal with prejudices when they are older.
Self-Esteem and The Disabled Child
There is a fine line between protecting and stifling. If a child is born with, or develops a disability, it is extremely important for the parents not to over-protect the child, which can make the child feel that she is different in a negative way. A Spina Bifida sufferer I know, for example, told me about the isolation that she felt as a result of her parents' overprotectiveness. She said, "Although I was an outgoing person and had no problems making friends, my parents never allowed me to join them on outings or social events because they were afraid of something happening to me. As a result, my friends eventually stopped inviting me to take part in group activities and that was a dreadful blow to my self-esteem. Personally, I didn't view myself as any different to say, someone who was short-sighted or someone with eczema. Nobody's perfect, so who's to say that my disability puts me at more of a disadvantage to anyone else? I also think that my parents thought I would be a burden on the others and they didn't feel it was right to put the responsibility for my welfare in their hands. Being made to feel that you are a burden on others totally saps your confidence and feelings of self-worth."
Parents can boost a disabled child's esteem enormously by helping them to lead as normal a life as possible and to allow them to make their own choices, difficult as this might be. They should also not ignore bad behaviour or make excuses for a child if she has acted in an unacceptable way. Respect and courtesy is something that should be exercised by everyone, irrespective of their circumstances, even disability.
Discipline Builds Self-Esteem
An undisciplined child will inevitably grow up with poor self-esteem. He will encounter rules and regulations outside of the home environment and will find it very difficult to conform if his parents have not regulated his behaviour. The undisciplined child will probably have no respect for his parents, let alone anyone else and particularly not those in positions of authority. As a result he will often find himself in trouble and the resultant chastisement will lower his self-esteem further.
Parents who allow their children to do as they please and who don't reprimand them for bad behaviour are not being kind. On the contrary, they are mapping out a life of difficulty for their offspring, with the likelihood that the child will encounter disapproval wherever he goes because of his inability to respect, nor understand, rules and limits.
Naturally, discipline has to be adapted according to the age of the child. A two-year-old, for example, cannot be disciplined in the same manner as a teenager because their powers of understanding are vastly different. A toddler will only just be grasping the concept of right and wrong, whereas a teenager should (in theory) have a clear understanding of what is and isn't acceptable behaviour.
Praise and Self-Esteem
Continual praise builds self-esteem, right? Not exactly, no. Whilst it is important to let children know that they are appreciated by recognising effort and achievement, overpraising a child for everything that they do can end up becoming meaningless. They may learn to stop trying because they know that their parents think that everything they do is wonderful, which is laying the foundations for eventual failure. They may become dependent on constant praise for motivation and may end up not achieving anything in life as a result. Parents should encourage their children to capitalise on their individual strengths, help them to learn new skills, give praise where praise is due and teach them to accept their weaknesses without viewing them as failings.
Effort and achievement should be encouraged, but without pressuring the child to do well. Every child's personal best is different and each child should be praised according to the effort that they have put in. A child who comes last in a school sports' day race, but who has given their best, deserves as much praise as the natural born athlete who wins the race. It is also important to teach your child that coming last does not mean failure and that it's perfectly normal to make mistakes. The child who believes that is more like to have high self-esteem than the child whose parents have taught him that it is wrong to fail, or that winning is most important. Parents whose expectations of their children are too high will not encourage healthy self-esteem.
General Guidelines For Building a Child's Self-Esteem
Developing Your Child's Self-Esteem
Healthy self-esteem is a child's armor against the challenges of the world. Kids who feel good about themselves seem to have an easier time handling conflicts and resisting negative pressures. They tend to smile more readily and enjoy life. These kids are realistic and generally optimistic.
In contrast, kids with low self-esteem can find challenges to be sources of major anxiety and frustration. Those who think poorly of themselves have a hard time finding solutions to problems. If given to self-critical thoughts such as "I'm no good" or "I can't do anything right," they may become passive, withdrawn, or depressed. Faced with a new challenge, their immediate response is "I can't."
Here's how you can play important role in promoting healthy self-esteem in your child.
What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is the collection of beliefs or feelings we have about ourselves, our "self-perceptions." How we define ourselves influences our motivations, attitudes, and behaviors and affects our emotional adjustment.
Patterns of self-esteem start very early in life. For example, a toddler who reaches a milestone experiences a sense of accomplishment that bolsters self-esteem. Learning to roll over after dozens of unsuccessful attempts teaches a baby a "can-do" attitude.
The concept of success following persistence starts early. As kids try, fail, try again, fail again, and then finally succeed, they develop ideas about their own capabilities. At the same time, they're creating a self-concept based on interactions with other people. This is why parental involvement is key to helping kids form accurate, healthy self-perceptions.
Self-esteem also can be defined as feelings of capability combined with feelings of being loved. A child who is happy with an achievement but does not feel loved may eventually experience low self-esteem. Likewise, a child who feels loved but is hesitant about his or her own abilities can also end up with low self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem comes when the right balance is reached.
Signs of Unhealthy and Healthy Self-Esteem
Self-esteem fluctuates as kids grow. It's frequently changed and fine-tuned, because it is affected by a child's experiences and new perceptions. So it helps to be aware of the signs of both healthy and unhealthy self-esteem.
Kids with low self-esteem may not want to try new things, and may frequently speak negatively about themselves: "I'm stupid," "I'll never learn how to do this," or "What's the point? Nobody cares about me anyway." They may exhibit a low tolerance for frustration, giving up easily or waiting for somebody else to take over. They tend to be overly critical of and easily disappointed in themselves. Kids with low self-esteem see temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions, and a sense of pessimism predominates.
Kids with healthy self-esteem tend to enjoy interacting with others. They're comfortable in social settings and enjoys group activities as well as independent pursuits. When challenges arise, they can work toward finding solutions and voice discontent without belittling themselves or others. For example, rather than saying, "I'm an idiot," a child with healthy self-esteem says, "I don't understand this." They know their strengths and weaknesses, and accept them. A sense of optimism prevails.
How Parents Can Help
How can a parent help to foster healthy self-esteem in a child? These tips can make a big difference:
- Watch what you say. Kids are very sensitive to parents' words. Remember to praise your child not only for a job well done, but also for effort. But be truthful. For example, if your child doesn't make the soccer team, avoid saying something like, "Well, next time you'll work harder and make it." Instead, try "Well, you didn't make the team, but I'm really proud of the effort you put into it." Reward effort and completion instead of outcome.
- Be a positive role model. If you're excessively harsh on yourself, pessimistic, or unrealistic about your abilities and limitations, your child may eventually mirror you. Nurture your own self-esteem, and your child will have a great role model.
- Identify and redirect your child's inaccurate beliefs. It's important for parents to identify kids' irrational beliefs about themselves, whether they're about perfection, attractiveness, ability, or anything else. Helping kids set more accurate standards and be more realistic in evaluating themselves will help them have a healthy self-concept. Inaccurate perceptions of self can take root and become reality to kids. For example, a child who does very well in school but struggles with math may say, "I can't do math. I'm a bad student." Not only is this a false generalization, it's also a belief that will set the child up for failure. Encourage kids to see a situation in its true light. A helpful response might be: "You are a good student. You do great in school. Math is just a subject that you need to spend more time on. We'll work on it together."
- Be spontaneous and affectionate. Your love will go a long way to boost your child's self-esteem. Give hugs and tell kids you're proud of them. Pop a note in your child's lunchbox that reads, "I think you're terrific!" Give praise frequently and honestly, without overdoing it. Kids can tell whether something comes from the heart.
- Give positive, accurate feedback. Comments like "You always work yourself up into such a frenzy!" will make kids feel like they have no control over their outbursts. A better statement is, "You were really mad at your brother. But I appreciate that you didn't yell at him or hit him." This acknowledges a child's feelings, rewards the choice made, and encourages the child to make the right choice again next time.
- Create a safe, loving home environment. Kids who don't feel safe or are abused at home will suffer immensely from low self-esteem. A child who is exposed to parents who fight and argue repeatedly may become depressed and withdrawn. Also watch for signs of abuse by others, problems in school, trouble with peers, and other factors that may affect kids' self-esteem. Deal with these issues sensitively but swiftly. And always remember to respect your kids.
- Help kids become involved in constructive experiences. Activities that encourage cooperation rather than competition are especially helpful in fostering self-esteem. For example, mentoring programs in which an older child helps a younger one learn to read can do wonders for both kids.
Finding Professional Help
If you suspect your child has low self-esteem, consider professional help. Family and child counselors can work to uncover underlying issues that prevent a child from feeling good about himself or herself.
Therapy can help kids learn to view themselves and the world positively. When kids see themselves in a more realistic light, they can accept who they truly are.
With a little help, every child can develop healthy self-esteem for a happier, more fulfilling life.
Reviewed by: David V. Sheslow, PhD
Date reviewed: November 2008
Motivating Kids to Perform Better: Some Useful Tips
Motivating your kids is perhaps one of the most difficult tasks in parenting. Every kid has a different motivation level and all kids cannot be motivated in a similar manner. Motivating your kids is also a process of enhancing personal growth and assimilation of a positive character. It is very tedious to know what exactly motivates your kid. The first step towards motivating your kid to achieve good things in life is to know and understand his or her mind. To know the mindset, you may also need to learn to listen to your kid, what he or she says and comprehends, and how they work and act. You will also need to learn how to spend quality time with your kids to know their likes, preferences and dislikes. In essence, as a parent, you will need to get closer to your kids and learn their behavior and mannerisms. Once you know what motivates your kid to perform their own duties and responsibilities, then you can start devising better and individualized methods and ways to motivate them.
If you are finding it very difficult to motivate your kids, you can try the following tips and suggestions to rectify the situation:
Finding out the nature of interest: Your kid may have some excellent talents in some areas of activities. Further, he or she may also show an inclination to perform better in those activities. For example, if your kid loves repairing cars, get him or her set of tools and utilities that can help in repairing mechanical objects. Buy a set of dye cast car models so that she or he can start working on them. If your kid loves music, get some simple and basic musical instruments, and think of sending your kid to a music class. You may like to put lot of efforts to find out the area of activity where your kid is likely to succeed.
Forward new ideas and areas of activities: Most kids will have a hidden passion or talent to do or act on something that could be still unidentified and unrecognized. A child whose real passion is music or arts; that has never had an opportunity to find and explore it will fail to pursue that particular passion. You will need to find and detect the areas where your kid is more likely to succeed and prosper.
Setting goals: Small kids cannot simply finish a large task that needs a lot of work. The assigned task could be simple and straightforward, but your kid may not like to finish that task because of various causes and reasons. The simple thing to do here is to split the task into many sub tasks and explain your kid the importance of finishing each one of them. Assign each of these tasks as separate goals and fix a small reward for finishing each of these goals.
Managing time: Most of the kids are very poor or average in managing their time. They can learn and understand very quickly, but are quite terrible in managing tasks and goals. In fact, they may get scared and overwhelmed to see the sheer amount of allotted work. Teach your kids how to manage their time and utilize the energy to perform tasks within the allotted time.
Praise sincere efforts: Your kid may fail from time to time to connect his or her personal effort to achieve some goals and objectives. As a parent, you may like to praise your kid whenever she or she finishes some simple tasks. You will need to use encouraging words and sentences to praise kids, so that they are ready to achieve bigger things in life.
Help your kid to have a control on what they do or perform: Kids always see and perceive success or achievement as something that is beyond their level of control. Due to repeated failures, they may also feel that putting efforts is pointless and futile. You will need to help your kid in take an active control of his or her life, so that he or she will be successful in achieving both personal and professional success.
Helping kid develop positive attitude about school: Education is always better and your kids need to perform well in their classes. Negative feelings can harm your kid and it may become a big obstacle in the future. Helping your kid to develop a positive attitude about the school will not only help in get connected to the classes, it will also assist in mingling with other kids and teachers.
Your kids are a big challenge to you! It is so tough and difficult to manage their intellect and talents. Motivation could be the biggest ever problem that you as a parent, may face in your life. Motivating your kids is actually a long drawn process that needs tremendous levels of dedication and perseverance.
Credits to Hon Jing Ying
Build your child's self-esteem
When a baby finds that her signals are validated and responded to appropriately - that troubles are soothed and pleasure enhanced - she begins to sense that her feelings, expressions, of her very being, are of value and important. A baby learns that she counts for something. This is the foundation of the development of self-esteem - a combination of who you are, how you feel about yourself, and what you think about your future potential.
Self-esteem takes root or withers depending on how you handle your child's signals of fun - interest and enjoyment - and validating and attending to the signals for help - distress, anger, fear, shame, disgust, and dismal.
As parents you are the most important people in your baby's world. You provide your child with his first definitions of himself. You tell him through your every word, gesture, and action just how important he is and how he is perceived by the outside world.
Over the coming months and years, as your child matures and becomes an adult, his self-esteem will become a more complex web of interlocking emotions and thoughts about himself and about how he sees and is seen by others. It's common for growing children and as well as adults to fluctuate between episodes of high and low self-esteem over the course of months or years. However, a solid foundation of self-esteem - built by appropriate responses to a child's signals and nurtured throughout childhood - will help most people maintain a basically optimistic view of their lives and their future over the course of life's ups and downs.
Your goal now, with your baby, is to help him develop a sense of himself that is reasonably solid and stable. As he grows, that will allow him to perceive his talents and abilities accurately, respond to life with flexibility, and look at his goals and capacities realistically.
Of course, the real key is loving the very essence of your child-loving and valuing the child for himself or herself, who he or she is. But this is often easier said than done-especially if the parents have not been loved and valued. Yet, understanding the nine signals can be useful here too: Much of the child's essence is wrapped up in her interests and enjoyments; and understanding and attending to the negative signals can help prevent the cycles of frustration, hurt, and anger which can so contaminate the parent-child relationship and erode the child's internal world.
The Foundation of Self-Esteem
From the first days of your baby's life, you can lay the foundation for self-esteem by responding appropriately to your child's signals for help (distress, anger, etc.) and fun (interest and enjoyment).
Many experts believe that another important building block of self-esteem involves a child's experience of competence. Competence is initially achieved as a result of the brain's capacity to create order out of the disorder of all the incoming stimuli. An infant's inherent ability to develop competence lays the foundation for later, more sophisticated mastery of interaction with the world and people, which in turn may produce a sense of self-esteem. One part of this development, as a child grows, is learning that he is able to exert control over external events. Another, as he interacts with his environment, is learning how to adapt in a healthy way to the external world's social requirements and expectations.
How to Help Your Child Build Self-Esteem
Focusing Appropriate Attention on the Child -
Babies thrive when they feel they are of genuine interest to you and are the center of your universe. They use their nine signals to express their entire range of emotions. When a baby cries, or fusses, or coos, she expects you to react with as much enthusiasm or distress as she does about what is happening to her.
What parents sometimes forget is that to babies those reactions of distress are proportional to the situation. Not being able to get a hold of a ball that rolled into a corner is terrible! And your baby wants you to pay attention to him when he announces it in no uncertain terms. He finds himself incapable of righting the situation himself-no matter what he does, he'll never be able to reach the ball. Talk about frustration! So he asks for your help in the only way he can-by making a scene. If that doesn't elicit your sympathy and attention, if you don't respond and help your baby out of his distress, he will begin to think that his problems don't really matter, how he feels doesn't count. Instead, if you take the opportunity to pay attention, validating and confirming his feelings and perceptions, you will help your child become confident.
Provide Reward and Praise -
Along with paying attention, reward and praise from you are essential to child's self-esteem. You must never forget how much your child wants to be like you and to be liked by you. Kids need to hear that you approve of them and think they are wonderful. They long to see the "gleam in your eye" that signals love and approval. You can't assume they know how you feel. They don't. They need to be told, over and over and over. In the long run, reward and praise tend to be better and healthier motivators than fear and shame. Of course, whenever you're dealing with behavior, it is also important to explain to the child the pros and cons, the reasons and rationales, for whatever issue is at stake.
Offer Protection -
If a child perceives the world as threatening or dangerous, it is almost impossible for her to feel brave and strong, to know that she can make her way through it successfully. But when you respond to your child's negative signals of distress and anger by allowing expression of the signals and then removing the triggers, you have begun to give her the tools to deal with the world. When it comes to feeling confident, nothing helps a helpless baby like knowing she can depend on you to shield her from danger and distress.
How Self-Esteem is Damaged
Some parents inadvertently diminish their children's self-esteem by interfering with or belittling their signals for interest and enjoyment. This triggers the automatic, built-in response of shame, and shame erodes self-esteem.
In my clinical practice, I frequently work with families in which both the parents and children have a variety of troubles related to a poor sense of self and self-esteem. The adults in these families often don't understand how feelings and emotions work. The family ends up in a toxic situation because there is a mismatch between the child's expression of emotional needs and the parent's ability to respond appropriately. Often, then, the children fail to develop a solid sense of self-who they are, what they like and don't like, a confidence in their perceptions and feelings, and so on. The resulting tension that develops between parent and child can contribute to the erosion of his self-esteem. The child may become angry, defensive, intolerant, and inflexible, or withdrawn, self-destructive, envious, and fearful. In fact, a whole variety of the less pleasing personality traits can be directly attributed to a person's lack of belief in his own essential worth. Think bully. Think timid. Think depressed, depleted, and drained. These different qualities result, in part, from a lack of self-esteem.
The results of these kinds of parenting missteps can be heartbreaking. But the results of positive parenting are tremendous. You and your child are able to enjoy one another's company, to delight in the deepening of your friendship. You gain access to the delightfully quirky way the world looks to a child. You learn as your baby learns. You gain confidence in your parenting skills; your self-esteem increases. Over time, you become ever more able to allow your child to grow into a unique, self-confident being. And because she has a solid sense of self, she will become capable of forming fulfilling relationships and of maintaining a healthy autonomy.
Credits to Hon Jing Ying
Mental Focusing Techniques - Basics
Does this always happen to your children? Do you find that your children are losing focus and concentration while they are studying in their classrooms? On the extreme side, did your children's classroom teachers call you to discuss about their performance in classroom? Did you find that your children failed to score top grades just because they lost their mental focus and concentration? If these undesirable events are happening to your children, then you may need to take immediate action to help your children regain their mental focus and concentration.
In fact, most children are intelligent and smart. They are capable of getting good grades and better marks in their classrooms. However, some obvious reasons or causes make them to lose their mental focus and concentration. In many circumstances, they may just develop boredom with the regular-sounding teaching materials and lessons. In fact, almost all children who find it difficult to concentrate on their lessons in the classrooms are always victims of countless numbers of distractions. In essence, distractions can easily reduce children's concentration and mental focus.
Distraction can arise because of a heavy classroom schedule; classrooms are always busy and hectic. Most children must study at least three or four subject everyday and carry out finishing their assigned homework too. The assigned time is very limited while the energy and effort required to finish the homework is too much to bear. Distractions in the classroom and home can be too much for any children as well. It is almost difficult for your children to focus on their lessons in an effective manner.
Another reason for loosing focus could be a lack of motivation or having very little of it. Lack of motivation also leads to lack of clear and lucid goals. Fuzziness in developing motivation can also result in loss of mental focus. Some children develop invisible mental blocks that eventually hinder them in developing mental focus. Mental blocks can come in many forms and patterns. However, the most important one is thinking about self-failure.
To counter distractions that happen around your children can be very difficult. The only way you make your children avoid distractions is to develop mental focus and concentration. You will need to teach mental focus techniques to your children to focus better on their classroom studies. Mental focusing is probably the only solution that can help your children overcome distortions and develop their character. Improving mental focus and concentration can pay your children rich dividends. Your children can stay focused on those things that rally interest them.
To help improve your children develop mental focus and concentration, you will need to pick up those activities that actually interest them. Children show active interest when they work on their preferred activities. Just watch your children how they work on some activities with all their dedication and concentration.
Tip: Developing focus is an activity itself. To achieve that, your children should be active in those activities that actually help them develop focus. For example, playing chess is one of the most beneficial activities that can help your children improve mental focus and dedication.
Focus and concentration are necessary to achieve many things in life. Some of these things are:
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Mental focus is necessary to concentrate on classroom teaching and comprehend the essence of lessons
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Mental focus lays a strong foundation to achieve better academic performance in the classroom
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Mental focus is a big necessity when it comes to understand life and its essence
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Mental focus provides an opportunity to reach the desired success level in life.
Three important issues can help you improve concentration in your children. These three issues are as follows:
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Observe your child: Observe to see what activities your children like to do and how they get themselves involved
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Offer a number of choices: Let your children do the activities that they like to do or enjoy doing it.
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Ask your children to repeat: When your children finish doing a task, you can ask them to repeat the same task again.
Stimulating Your Child's Creativity
According to the experts, it is possible to encourage or inhibit the development and expression of creativity in young children. Most theories of child development view young children as highly creative, with a natural tendency to fantasize, experiment, and explore their physical and conceptual environment. However this high level of creativity is not necessarily maintained throughout childhood and into adulthood. The level of creativity declines when they start the kindergarten and peaks again when they reach puberty.
Creativity is essentially a form of problem solving. But it is a special type of problem solving--one that involves problems for which there are no easy answers: that is, problems for which popular or conventional responses do not work. Creativity involves adaptability and flexibility of thought. These are the same types of skills that numerous reports on education have suggested are critical for students.
For a proper understanding of children's creativity, one must distinguish creativity from intelligence and talent. Researcher has argued that intelligence and creativity are independent of each other, and a highly creative child may or may not be highly intelligent. Creativity goes beyond possession and use of artistic or musical talent. In this context, talent refers to the possession of a high degree of technical skill in a specialized area. Thus an artist may have wonderful technical skills, but may not succeed in evoking the emotional response that makes the viewer feel that a painting, for example, is unique. It is important to keep in mind that creativity is evidenced not only in music, art, or writing, but also throughout the curriculum, in science, social studies and other areas.
Is your child creative? Creativity can be assessed informally by parents or teachers, or formally by tests and the experts. One of the more common tests is "alternative uses" test, whereby the test subject is asked to think of as many uses as possible for a common object. For example, when we ask four-year-olds to tell us "all the things they can think of that are red," we find that children not only list wagons, apples and cardinals, but also chicken pox and cold hands. These tests assess divergent thinking and are usually scored in relation to both the quantity and the quality of the answers. Children's responses may be either popular or original, with the latter considered evidence of creative potential.
For young children, the focus of creativity should remain on process, i.e. the "generation of ideas". Adult acceptance of multiple ideas in a non-evaluative atmosphere will help children generate more ideas.
How can adults encourage creativity?
* Provide an environment that allows the child to explore and play without undue restraints. The atmosphere should reflect the adults' encouragement and acceptance of mistake, risk-taking, innovation, and uniqueness, along with amount of mess noise.
* Choice of materials. Without spending great amount of money, materials like paper goods of all kinds; writing and drawing tools; materials for constructions and collages, such as buttons, stones, shells, beads, and seeds; and sculpting materials, such as play dough, goop, clay, and shaving cream can be used. Children use these materials most productively and imaginatively when they themselves have help select, organize, sort and arrange them.
* Accept unusual ideas from children by suspending judgment of children's divergent problem solving. Respect their efforts and let them know that you have confidence in their ability to do well. Let the child have both freedom and responsibility to deal with the consequences of their thinking.
* Use creative problem solving in all parts of the curriculum. Use the problems that naturally occur in everyday life. Encourage the child to experiment with the novel and unusual. Listen to the child's questions and comments about his or her observations. Clarify what the child has observed by repeating what you have heard and ask further questions about the experience. New questions and observations may emerge from this process of exploration together
* Creativity does not follow the clock. Children need extended, unhurried time to explore and do their best work. Allow time for the children to explore all possibilities, moving from popular to more original ideas.
* Children find it hard to be creative without any concrete inspiration. Instead, they prefer to draw on the direct evidence of their senses or memories. These memories can become more vivid and accessible through the adults' provocations and preparations. For example, children can be encouraged to represent their knowledge and ideas before and after they have watched an absorbing show, taken a field trip, or observed and discussed an interesting plant or animal they saw in the park.
* Expose your child to a diversity of cultures, experiences, people, and ways of thinking. Let them see that there are different ways to think about a problem. Encourage children to try new experiences within their age level abilities and expectations.
* Emphasize process rather than product. Relax and enjoy the creative process with your child. Children who are constantly directed to conform to expected outcomes lose the confidence and spontaneity essential for the development of creative thinking
* Beware of barriers to creativity. Rewards- when people do not expect a reward, they are more creative and enjoy the process more. Expected external evaluation- Knowing beforehand that a piece of art is going to be graded can lead to a decrease in creativity. Peer pressure - There is some evidence that pressure to conform can lead to temporary decreases in creativity. Surveillance - Being observed by others while engaged in a creative process can undermine creativity.
Do you need special toys to stimulate creativity? The experts say no, there are many easy tasks you and your child can do together to promote creativity.
1. Use creative questioning. One way to help children to think more creatively is to ask them how they would change things to make them better. (What would taste better if it were sweeter? What would be more fun if it were faster or slower? What would be happier if it were smaller or bigger? What would be more interesting if it went backwards?)
2. Ask, "What would happen if?" (What would happen if all the cars were gone? What would happen if everyone wore the same clothes? What would happen if no one cleaned the house?)
3. Ask "in-how-many-different-ways" questions? (How many different ways can a button be used? How many different ways can a string be used?)
4. Use creative play. Activities such as "follow the leader" encourage a child to think of creative movement and experience the reward of others following their example. Use simple materials (blocks, mud, sand, clay, water) that the child can build and design using their own skills.
5. Use a continuing story concept. Someone starts the story and then each person adds a part. Read a story and act it out. Use puppets to act out a plot.
6. Use props to create new ideas. (Animal cracker game - child chooses one cracker; looks at it; then eats it. Then the child becomes that animal for 1-2 minutes. Use creative movement to act out how the animal acts and moves.)
7. Use role playing (family happenings, simulation games, school situations) to help children see the viewpoints of others and to explore their feelings. Have children describe the people that they see in pictures as to how they might feel or think.
Credits to Hon Jing Ying
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