Identifying The Gifted
1. Einstein was four years old before he could speak and seven before he could read.
2. Isaac Newton did poorly in grade school.
3. When Thomas Edison was a boy, his teachers told him he was too stupid to learn anything.
4. F.W.Woolworth got a job in a dry goods store when he was 21. But his employers would not let him wait on a customer because he "Didn't have enough sense."
5. A newspaper editor fired Walt Disney because he had "No good ideas"
6. Caruso's music teacher told him "You can't sing, you have no voice at all."
7. Leo Tolstoy flunked out of college.
8. Verner Von Braun flunked 9th grade algebra.
9. Admiral Richard E. Byrd had been retired from the navy, as, "Unfit for service" Until he flew over both poles.
10. Louis Pasteur was rated as mediocre in chemistry when he attended the Royal College
11. Abraham Lincoln entered The Black Hawk War as a captain and came out a private
12. Fred Waring was once rejected from high school chorus.
13. Winston Churchill failed the sixth grade.
Recognizing the Characteristics of Gifted Children
ERIC Clearinghouse on Handicapped and Gifted Children (1985) cites three types of characteristics of gifted children: general behavioral, learning, and creative characteristics.
General Behavior Characteristics
Gifted children's behavior differs from that of their age-mates in the following ways:
# Many gifted children learn to read early, with better comprehension of the nuances of language. As much as half the gifted and talented population has learned to read before entering school.
# Gifted children often read widely, quickly, and intensely and have large vocabularies.
# Gifted children commonly learn basic skills better, more quickly, and with less practice.
# They are better able to construct and handle abstractions.
# They often pick up and interpret nonverbal cues and can draw inferences that other children need to have spelled out for them.
# They take less for granted, seeking the "hows" and "whys."
# They can work independently at an earlier age and can concentrate for longer periods.
# Their interests are both wildly eclectic and intensely focused.
# They often have seemingly boundless energy, which sometimes leads to a misdiagnosis of hyperactivity.
# They usually respond and relate well to parents, teachers, and other adults. They may prefer the company of older children and adults to that of their peers.
# They like to learn new things, are willing to examine the unusual, and are highly inquisitive.
# They tackle tasks and problems in a well-organized, goal-directed, and efficient manner.
# They exhibit an intrinsic motivation to learn, find out, or explore and are often very persistent. "I'd rather do it myself" is a common attitude.
Learning Characteristics
Gifted children are natural learners who often show many of these characteristics:
# They may show keen powers of observation and a sense of the significant; they have an eye for important details.
# They may read a great deal on their own, preferring books and magazines written for children older than they are.
# They often take great pleasure in intellectual activity.
# They have well-developed powers of abstraction, conceptualization, and synthesis.
# They readily see cause-effect relationships.
# They often display a questioning attitude and seek information for its own sake as much as for its usefulness.
# They are often skeptical, critical, and evaluative. They are quick to spot inconsistencies.
# They often have a large storehouse of information about a variety of topics, which they can recall quickly.
# They readily grasp underlying principles and can often make valid generalizations about events, people, or objects.
# They quickly perceive similarities, differences, and anomalies.
# They often attack complicated material by separating it into components and analyzing it systematically.
Creative Characteristics
Gifted children's creative abilities often set them apart from their age-mates. These characteristics may take the following forms:
# Gifted children are fluent thinkers, able to generate possibilities, consequences, or related ideas.
# They are flexible thinkers, able to use many different alternatives and approaches to problem solving.
# They are original thinkers, seeking new, unusual, or unconventional associations and combinations among items of information.
# They can also see relationships among seemingly unrelated objects, ideas, or facts.
# They are elaborate thinkers, producing new steps, ideas, responses, or other embellishments to a basic idea, situation, or problems.
# They are willing to entertain complexity and seem to thrive on problem solving.
# They are good guessers and can readily construct hypotheses or "what if" questions.
# They often are aware of their own impulsiveness and irrationality, and they show emotional sensitivity.
# They are extremely curious about objects, ideas, situations, or events.
# They often display intellectual playfulness and like to fantasize and imagine.
# They can be less intellectually inhibited than their peers are in expressing opinions and ideas, and they often disagree spiritedly with others' statements.
# They are sensitive to beauty and are attracted to aesthetic values.
Who are the Highly Gifted?
Highly gifted children tend to be those who demonstrate asynchronous development. Due to their high cognitive abilities and high intensities they experience and relate to the world in unique ways. These children are often found as a result of extremely high scores on an individually scored IQ tests, generally above the 140 IQ range. Others may be prodigies in areas such as math, science, language and/or the arts. Profoundly gifted children can score in excess of 170 IQ.
Highly gifted children demonstrate characteristics such as the extreme need to:
1. Learn at a much faster pace.
2. Process material to a much greater depth.
3. Show incredible intensity in energy, imagination, intellectual prowess, sensitivity, and emotion which are not typical in the general population.
The child of 160+ is as different from the child of 130 IQ as that child is different from the child of average ability. Current research suggests that there may be higher incidence of children in this high range than previously thought. Due to their unique characteristics, these children are particularly vulnerable. Highly gifted children need a specialized advocacy because very little has been done to develop appropriate curriculum and non-traditional options for these children.
Some Myths About Gifted Children
Gifted Kids are like cream that rises to the top in a classroom:
Not necessarily. Gifted Children can have hidden learning disabilities that go undiscovered because they can easily compensate for them in the early years. As time goes on though, it becomes harder and harder for them to excel. Which can lead to behavior problems and depression.
Gifted Kids are so smart they do fine with or without special programs:
They may appear to do fine on their own. But without proper challenge they can become bored and unruly. As the years go by they may find it harder and harder as work does become more challenging, since they never faced challenge before.
Gifted and Talented means the same thing:
Again, not necessarily. There is no rule that states that a child who is capable of scoring to the high ninety percentiles on group achievement testing must be considered gifted. We must remember that achievement tests like the Metropolitan Achievement Tests are "Grade Level Testing". Such a child is most definitely Academically Talented. But further individualized IQ and out of level academic testing must be given before we can define that child as "Gifted". At the same time, there is no rule that states a child identified as gifted should be Achieving to high standards in the classroom. This type of stereotyping can do serious and irreversible damage to both groups. ANY child can benefit from enrichment. Academically Talented Children can benefit from Honors (Grade Level) Classes. Intellectually Gifted children need a differentiated curriculum and possibly even a different environment.
They need to go through school with their own age mates:
Where it's true that children need to play and interact socially with other children their age, they do not need to learn with them. Especially in the case of a highly gifted child who may have a chronological age of six and a mental age of 11 who has been reading since two. To put that child in a reading class with other six year olds who are just learning to read is sheer torture for that child.
Giftedness is something to be jealous about:
This is perhaps the most damaging myth. More often than not gifted children can feel isolated and misunderstood. They have more adult tastes in music, clothing, reading material and food. These differences to other children can cause them to be shunned and even abused verbally or physically by other children. Experts in the field of gifted education are beginning to address the higher incidences of ADHD and Spelling/Handwriting disabilities in the gifted population verses those in the much larger normal population.
Posted by Ong Si Li, T3
Showing posts with label T3. Show all posts
Showing posts with label T3. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The Learning Environment That's Best for Children
We feel the learning environment that best illustrates an atmosphere prepared for accelerated learning is a properly equipped Montessori classroom. Not only do they have properly proportioned furniture, they use some of the best hands-on equipment and lessons for children of any school we've found. To the right is a picture of a typical Montessori classroom.
What Makes the Best Learning Environment for Home or in School?
1. According to Maria Montessori, the learning environment at school or home should be sparse but housed with carefully chosen materials which encourage the child to work, stay concentrated and happy. A crowded or chaotic environment can cause stress and dissipate a child's energy. Too many materials, or inappropriate materials can be worse than too few. It's important to keep games and lessons fresh and interesting. Simple is better.
2. Bond with your children through love and closeness. Love is probably the most important element to the success of your child's ability to reap the full benefits of accelerated learning methods. Love makes your young children feel safe, comfortable and calm. Love itself can make almost any home or school the best learning environment for your children.
3. Try not to use colors in the learning environment that are harsh or too strong. Use soft cushy couches to relax on and a defined location like a 3 x 2 foot swatch of carpet on the floor to present lessons and games on and where your young child will use them. Older children would be playing accelerated learning games on computer or using accelerated learning right brain left brain card games, often with friends or classmates.
4. Keep unwanted odors out of this area as well as TV noise or other noises that can disturb attention and concentration.
Posted by Chung Winnie, T3
Healthy Eating
Whether you have a toddler or a teen, here are five of the best strategies to improve nutrition and encourage smart eating habits:
1. Have regular family meals.
2. Serve a variety of healthy foods and snacks.
3. Be a role model by eating healthy yourself.
4. Avoid battles over food.
5. Involve kids in the process.
But it's not easy when everyone is juggling busy schedules and convenience food, such as fast food, is so readily available.
Here are some ways to incorporate all five strategies into your routine.
Family Meals
Family meals are a comforting ritual for both parents and kids. Children like the predictability of family meals and parents get a chance to catch up with their kids. Kids who take part in regular family meals are also:
* more likely to eat fruits, vegetables, and grains
* less likely to snack on unhealthy foods
* less likely to smoke, use marijuana, or drink alcohol
In addition, family meals offer the chance to introduce kids to new foods and to act as a role model for healthy eating.
Teens may turn up their noses at the prospect of a family meal — not surprising because they're busy and want to be more independent. Yet studies find that teens still want their parents' advice and counsel, so use mealtime as a chance to reconnect. Also, consider trying these strategies:
* Allow your teen to invite a friend to dinner.
* Involve your teen in meal planning and preparation.
* Keep mealtime calm and congenial — no lectures or arguing.
What counts as a family meal? Any time you and your family eat together — whether it's takeout food or a home-cooked meal with all the trimmings. Strive for nutritious food and a time when everyone can be there. This may mean eating dinner a little later to accommodate a child who's at sports practice. It can also mean setting aside time on the weekends, such as Sunday brunch, when it may be more convenient to gather as a group.
Posted by Chung Winnie, T3
1. Have regular family meals.
2. Serve a variety of healthy foods and snacks.
3. Be a role model by eating healthy yourself.
4. Avoid battles over food.
5. Involve kids in the process.
But it's not easy when everyone is juggling busy schedules and convenience food, such as fast food, is so readily available.
Here are some ways to incorporate all five strategies into your routine.
Family Meals
Family meals are a comforting ritual for both parents and kids. Children like the predictability of family meals and parents get a chance to catch up with their kids. Kids who take part in regular family meals are also:
* more likely to eat fruits, vegetables, and grains
* less likely to snack on unhealthy foods
* less likely to smoke, use marijuana, or drink alcohol
In addition, family meals offer the chance to introduce kids to new foods and to act as a role model for healthy eating.
Teens may turn up their noses at the prospect of a family meal — not surprising because they're busy and want to be more independent. Yet studies find that teens still want their parents' advice and counsel, so use mealtime as a chance to reconnect. Also, consider trying these strategies:
* Allow your teen to invite a friend to dinner.
* Involve your teen in meal planning and preparation.
* Keep mealtime calm and congenial — no lectures or arguing.
What counts as a family meal? Any time you and your family eat together — whether it's takeout food or a home-cooked meal with all the trimmings. Strive for nutritious food and a time when everyone can be there. This may mean eating dinner a little later to accommodate a child who's at sports practice. It can also mean setting aside time on the weekends, such as Sunday brunch, when it may be more convenient to gather as a group.
Posted by Chung Winnie, T3
Monday, April 19, 2010
Gifted Children Behavior
By Dr.Linda Karges-Bone
B.S. in Special and Elementary Education from the College of Charleston (1981), M.Ed. in Special Education, certification in Early Childhood Education (1983), Ed.D. in Curriculum and Instruction at the University of South Carolina at Columbia (1994).
Posted by Eric Ong Chee Hoe, T3
Are Gifted Children Born or Made?
Debates still go on about this topic, however, both nature and nurture factor should be accounted for in developing a child's potential to it's fullest. I think, without natural talent a person can go only so far with all training available, Isaac Newton would probably just take and eat the apple that fell on his head instead of discovering the Law of Gravity and natural talent without proper stimuli's leave less chance for developing it's potential, a lot of parents send their prodigy child to higher level of learning institution,but they are still young, what about parental guidance? Booze and stress are abundant.
Posted by Eric Ong Chee Hoe, T3
Child Prodigies
Taken from The Star Online.
According to Dr David Henry Feldman, “a child prodigy is a child younger than 10 years old who can perform at the level of a highly trained adult in a very demanding field of endeavor.” They are like little Mozarts and Einsteins that act like little innocent kids but can beat you at your game so bad, you have to call them sifu (if he's a prodigy at your field).
They mostly strive in the field of music, maths and even chess but not so in the form of business, law, dance and writing.
According to author Alissa Quart, prodigies are found more in quantitative fields like maths, and less in qualitative disciplines,where it are hard to measure. Also, contrary to beliefs, high IQ is not correlated to being a prodigy. According to Australian educational specialist for gifted children, many creative children don't do well in standardized exams. Ellen Winner, a psychology professor and a book author on gifted children, says parents play a vital role in providing stimulating environments for their child to grow and they themselves are often related in the same field as their prodigy child , Pablo Picasso's father was an artist, Mozart's dad was a musician.
Author Quart states that the overly pressured children can lead to emotional and mental problems like anxiety and low self esteem. Brandenn Bremmer who entered college at age 10, committed suicide by shooting himself in the head in 2005 at the age of 14. He said in an interview with Quart: “America is a society that demands perfection.” Some gifted youngsters couldn't cope while others have breakdowns due to self-image problems when they fail to achieve, according to Alan Goldberg, an US sports psychology consultant.
Psychologist Lewis Terman studied 1,500 indicated child prodigies throughout their lives in a 1921 study on intelligence. He found that being gifted in early life is not a guarantee for success in life, many them didn't make it when they reached adulthood. Dr Feldman explains that this is because prodigies specialize in one certain area,not overall. The focus in developing one area leads to neglecting other areas. In the early 20th century, Erwin Nyiregyhazi, a piano prodigy, couldn't even tie his own shoes at the age of 21.
Contrary to the earlier study, Terman’s studies showed that many of his subjects made huge contribution to humanity. Examples: Physicist Isaac Newton, double Nobel Prize winner Marie Curie, composer Felix Mendelssohn, and violin genius and conductor Yehudi Menuhin.
Child prodigies who failed to meet expectations, make the news, but those who live quietly and successfully hardly draw any attention ironically. Also, interestingly not all child start as prodigies but end up changing the world, Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein are just two of other blokes who made themselves into brilliant scientists. No body knew they existed in the beginning.
Look at this dude,
(oh they make mistakes too hehe, this is the only time when we get to laugh at them,just kidding of course)
Check out more examples of people you might be awed or envied at
http://www.oddee.com/item_96629.aspx
Reference
S.S.Yoga. (2008). Child prodigy : two sides of genius. Retrieved March 18,2010 from http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2008/4/14/lifefocus/20902655&sec=lifefocus
Posted by Eric Ong Chee Hoe, T3
According to Dr David Henry Feldman, “a child prodigy is a child younger than 10 years old who can perform at the level of a highly trained adult in a very demanding field of endeavor.” They are like little Mozarts and Einsteins that act like little innocent kids but can beat you at your game so bad, you have to call them sifu (if he's a prodigy at your field).
They mostly strive in the field of music, maths and even chess but not so in the form of business, law, dance and writing.
According to author Alissa Quart, prodigies are found more in quantitative fields like maths, and less in qualitative disciplines,where it are hard to measure. Also, contrary to beliefs, high IQ is not correlated to being a prodigy. According to Australian educational specialist for gifted children, many creative children don't do well in standardized exams. Ellen Winner, a psychology professor and a book author on gifted children, says parents play a vital role in providing stimulating environments for their child to grow and they themselves are often related in the same field as their prodigy child , Pablo Picasso's father was an artist, Mozart's dad was a musician.
Author Quart states that the overly pressured children can lead to emotional and mental problems like anxiety and low self esteem. Brandenn Bremmer who entered college at age 10, committed suicide by shooting himself in the head in 2005 at the age of 14. He said in an interview with Quart: “America is a society that demands perfection.” Some gifted youngsters couldn't cope while others have breakdowns due to self-image problems when they fail to achieve, according to Alan Goldberg, an US sports psychology consultant.
Psychologist Lewis Terman studied 1,500 indicated child prodigies throughout their lives in a 1921 study on intelligence. He found that being gifted in early life is not a guarantee for success in life, many them didn't make it when they reached adulthood. Dr Feldman explains that this is because prodigies specialize in one certain area,not overall. The focus in developing one area leads to neglecting other areas. In the early 20th century, Erwin Nyiregyhazi, a piano prodigy, couldn't even tie his own shoes at the age of 21.
Contrary to the earlier study, Terman’s studies showed that many of his subjects made huge contribution to humanity. Examples: Physicist Isaac Newton, double Nobel Prize winner Marie Curie, composer Felix Mendelssohn, and violin genius and conductor Yehudi Menuhin.
Child prodigies who failed to meet expectations, make the news, but those who live quietly and successfully hardly draw any attention ironically. Also, interestingly not all child start as prodigies but end up changing the world, Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein are just two of other blokes who made themselves into brilliant scientists. No body knew they existed in the beginning.
Look at this dude,
(oh they make mistakes too hehe, this is the only time when we get to laugh at them,just kidding of course)
Check out more examples of people you might be awed or envied at
http://www.oddee.com/item_96629.aspx
Reference
S.S.Yoga. (2008). Child prodigy : two sides of genius. Retrieved March 18,2010 from http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2008/4/14/lifefocus/20902655&sec=lifefocus
Posted by Eric Ong Chee Hoe, T3
Down Syndrome
Down Syndrome is a chromosomal abnormality and probably the most common genetic condition, occurs in approximately one in every eight hundred to one thousand live births or accounts for approximately 5-6 per cent of intellectual retardation. Although, most students with Down's Syndrome are between the mild to moderate range of mental retardation.
Initially, Down's Syndrome was given the label of Mongolism due to the physical characteristics of the disorder. A student with Down's Syndrome is usually quite recognizable due to characteristics like a smaller overall stature, flat facial profile, thick epicanthal folds in the corners of their eyes, protruding tongues which is due to their smaller oral cavity and muscle hypotonia - low muscle tone.
Best Practices
• Inclusion: Students with special needs should be full members of age appropriate inclusional classes to the extent they can be. Effective inclusion means that the teacher must be fully supportive of the model. The strategies you use to reach and teach the Down's student will often be beneficial to many learners in the classroom. See the inclusional checklist Inclusion is a good practice for students with Down's Syndrome. Theinclusional environment is less likely to stigmatize and provide a much more natural environment for the students. There are more opportunities for peer relationships to occur and much of the research states that full integration works better.
• Self-Esteem: The physical characteristics of a Down's student will often result in a lowered self-esteem which means you will need to take every opportunity to boost self confidenceand instill pride through a variety of strategies.
• Intellectual: Down's students usually face many intellectual challenges. Strategies that work for mildly retarded students and or students with significant learning disabilities will also work with Down's students. Much literature have stated that most individuals with Down syndrome do not progress beyond the intellectual capabilities of a normal developing six to eight year old (Kliewer 1993). However, always strive to move the child progressively along the learning continuum, never assume the child isn't capable. Solid intervention and high quality instruction have been proven to lead to improved academic achievement for Down's students. Use a multi-modal approach which works best for all students. Use as many concrete materials and real world authentic situations as is possible. Use language appropriate for student understanding and speak slowly when necessary. Always break tasks into smaller steps and provide instruction for each step. Remember, a student with Down's Syndrome will usually have a good short term memory.
• Short attention spans are also prevalent among students with Down's. Direct instruction in short periods of time along with smaller chunks of activities will help to support learning. Introducing new material slowly, sequentially and in a step by step fashion will help to ensure maximum learning occurs.
• Distractibility: Down's students are ofen easily distracted. You'll need to employ strategies that work to minimize distractions such as keeping the student away from the window, using a slightly more structured environment, keeping the noise level down and having an orderly classroom where students are free from surprises and know what your expectations, routines and rules are.
• Speech and Language: Down's students all suffer from serious problems such as hearing difficulties and articulation problems. Sometimes they will require speech/language intervention and a great deal of direct instruction. In some cases,augmentative or facilitated communication will be a good alternative for communication. Use patience and model appropriate interactions at all times.
• Behavior Management Techniques used for other students should not differ for the student with Down's Syndrome. Again, positive reinforcement is a much better method than anything punitive. Reinforcers need to be meaningful.
Todays classroom has many special needs students, and the inclusional model is often the best model and one supported by research. The inclusive classrooms lets all students learn what it means to be a full member of a school community. Treat all students as valued learners. Although many teachers don't have experience with Down's Syndrome, they have been teaching these students very well for a long time.
Posted by Lim Sin Loong,T3
Initially, Down's Syndrome was given the label of Mongolism due to the physical characteristics of the disorder. A student with Down's Syndrome is usually quite recognizable due to characteristics like a smaller overall stature, flat facial profile, thick epicanthal folds in the corners of their eyes, protruding tongues which is due to their smaller oral cavity and muscle hypotonia - low muscle tone.
Best Practices
• Inclusion: Students with special needs should be full members of age appropriate inclusional classes to the extent they can be. Effective inclusion means that the teacher must be fully supportive of the model. The strategies you use to reach and teach the Down's student will often be beneficial to many learners in the classroom. See the inclusional checklist Inclusion is a good practice for students with Down's Syndrome. Theinclusional environment is less likely to stigmatize and provide a much more natural environment for the students. There are more opportunities for peer relationships to occur and much of the research states that full integration works better.
• Self-Esteem: The physical characteristics of a Down's student will often result in a lowered self-esteem which means you will need to take every opportunity to boost self confidenceand instill pride through a variety of strategies.
• Intellectual: Down's students usually face many intellectual challenges. Strategies that work for mildly retarded students and or students with significant learning disabilities will also work with Down's students. Much literature have stated that most individuals with Down syndrome do not progress beyond the intellectual capabilities of a normal developing six to eight year old (Kliewer 1993). However, always strive to move the child progressively along the learning continuum, never assume the child isn't capable. Solid intervention and high quality instruction have been proven to lead to improved academic achievement for Down's students. Use a multi-modal approach which works best for all students. Use as many concrete materials and real world authentic situations as is possible. Use language appropriate for student understanding and speak slowly when necessary. Always break tasks into smaller steps and provide instruction for each step. Remember, a student with Down's Syndrome will usually have a good short term memory.
• Short attention spans are also prevalent among students with Down's. Direct instruction in short periods of time along with smaller chunks of activities will help to support learning. Introducing new material slowly, sequentially and in a step by step fashion will help to ensure maximum learning occurs.
• Distractibility: Down's students are ofen easily distracted. You'll need to employ strategies that work to minimize distractions such as keeping the student away from the window, using a slightly more structured environment, keeping the noise level down and having an orderly classroom where students are free from surprises and know what your expectations, routines and rules are.
• Speech and Language: Down's students all suffer from serious problems such as hearing difficulties and articulation problems. Sometimes they will require speech/language intervention and a great deal of direct instruction. In some cases,augmentative or facilitated communication will be a good alternative for communication. Use patience and model appropriate interactions at all times.
• Behavior Management Techniques used for other students should not differ for the student with Down's Syndrome. Again, positive reinforcement is a much better method than anything punitive. Reinforcers need to be meaningful.
Todays classroom has many special needs students, and the inclusional model is often the best model and one supported by research. The inclusive classrooms lets all students learn what it means to be a full member of a school community. Treat all students as valued learners. Although many teachers don't have experience with Down's Syndrome, they have been teaching these students very well for a long time.
Posted by Lim Sin Loong,T3
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in Children
Childhood ADHD -- attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder -- is diagnosed after a child has shown six or more specific symptoms of inactivity and/or hyperactivity on a regular basis for more than six months in more than two settings. There is no single test for ADHD.
A doctor can diagnose ADHD with the help of standard guidelines. The diagnosis of ADHD involves the gathering of information from several sources, including school, caregivers, and parents. The doctor will consider how a child's behavior compares with that of other children the same age.
ADHD in Children
Symptoms of Childhood ADHD
Children with ADHD show signs of inattention, hyperactivity, and/or impulsivity in specific ways. These children:
• Are in constant motion.
• Squirm and fidget.
• Do not seem to listen.
• Have difficulty playing quietly.
• Often talk excessively.
• Interrupt or intrude on others.
• Are easily distracted.
• Do not finish tasks.
Some behaviors can appear to be ADHD-related, but are not. Some causes of ADHD-like behavior are:
• A sudden life change (such as divorce, a death in the family, or moving).
• Undetected seizures.
• Medical disorders affecting brain function.
• Anxiety.
• Depression.
How Is ADHD Diagnosed?
Your child's primary care doctor can determine whether your child has ADHD using standard guidelines developed by the American Academy of Pediatrics. These diagnosis guidelines are for children 6 to 12 years of age.
Know that it is very difficult to diagnose ADHD in children younger than 5 years of age. That's because many preschool children have some ADHD symptoms in various situations. In addition, children change very rapidly during the preschool years. It is also difficult to diagnose ADHD once a child becomes a teenager.
The process of diagnosing ADHD requires several steps and involves gathering a lot of information from multiple sources. You, your child, your child's school, and other caregivers should be involved in assessing your child's behavior.
A physician can conduct a medical history to help put a child's behavior in context. They will ask what symptoms a child is showing, how long the symptoms have occurred, and how the behavior affects a child and his/her family.
Types of ADHD in Children
Doctors may classify symptoms as the following types of ADHD:
• Combined Type (Inattentive/Hyperactive/Impulsive). Children with this type of ADHD show all three symptoms. This is the most common form of ADHD.
• Hyperactive/Impulsive Type. Children show both hyperactive and impulsive behavior, but are able to pay attention.
• Inattentive Type. Formerly known as attention deficit disorder (ADD), these children are not overly active. They do not disrupt the classroom or other activities, so their symptoms might not be noticed.
ADHD Treatment Overview
Education of the child and family is an essential component of any treatment plan, which may encompass special education programs, psychological intervention, and drug treatment. Be sure to discuss all options with your child's health care provider to find the best treatment for him or her.
Studies show that long-term treatment with a combination of medications andbehavioral therapy is far superior to just medication treatment, or no specific treatments in managing hyperactivity, impulsivity, inattention, and symptoms of anxiety and depression. Those kids treated with both ADHD drugs and therapy also had better social skills.
Drugs for Childhood ADHD
A class of drugs called psychostimulants or stimulants for short is a highly effective treatment for childhood ADHD. These medicines, including Ritalin, Concerta, and Adderall XR, help children to focus their thoughts and ignore distractions. Stimulant medications are effective in 70% to 80% of patients.
Another treatment used to treat ADHD in kids is the nonstimulant medication, Strattera. More studies will need to be done to contrast Strattera with the medications already available, but the evidence to date indicates that over 70% of children with ADHD given Strattera have significant improvement in their symptoms.
ADHD medicines are available in short-acting (immediate-release), intermediate-acting, and long-acting forms. It may take some time for a physician to find the best medication, dosage, and schedule for an individual with ADHD. ADHD drugs sometimes have side effects, but these tend to happen early in treatment. Usually, side effects are mild and short-lived.
Behavioral Treatments for Children With ADHD
Behavioral treatment for children with ADHD involves adjusting the environment to promote more successful social interactions. Such adjustments include creating more structure, encouraging routines, and clearly stating expectations of the child with ADHD.
Other forms of ADHD treatment that may benefit the child include:
• Social skills training. This can help a child with ADHD learn behaviors that will help them develop and maintain social relationships.
• Support groups and parenting skills training. Education and support for the parents can be an integral part of treating ADHD in children.
What Treatment Is Best for My Child?
For children with ADHD, no single treatment is the answer for every child. A child may have undesirable side effects to a medication, making a particular treatment unacceptable. If a child with ADHD also has anxiety or depression, a treatment combining medication and behavioral therapy might be best. Each child's needs and personal history must be carefully considered. It is important to work with a physician to find the best solution for your child.
The ADHD Coach?
Coaching is a relatively new field in the treatment of ADHD in children. ADHD coaches are meant to help children achieve better results in different areas of their lives.
Posted by Lim Sin Loong, T3
A doctor can diagnose ADHD with the help of standard guidelines. The diagnosis of ADHD involves the gathering of information from several sources, including school, caregivers, and parents. The doctor will consider how a child's behavior compares with that of other children the same age.
ADHD in Children
Symptoms of Childhood ADHD
Children with ADHD show signs of inattention, hyperactivity, and/or impulsivity in specific ways. These children:
• Are in constant motion.
• Squirm and fidget.
• Do not seem to listen.
• Have difficulty playing quietly.
• Often talk excessively.
• Interrupt or intrude on others.
• Are easily distracted.
• Do not finish tasks.
Some behaviors can appear to be ADHD-related, but are not. Some causes of ADHD-like behavior are:
• A sudden life change (such as divorce, a death in the family, or moving).
• Undetected seizures.
• Medical disorders affecting brain function.
• Anxiety.
• Depression.
How Is ADHD Diagnosed?
Your child's primary care doctor can determine whether your child has ADHD using standard guidelines developed by the American Academy of Pediatrics. These diagnosis guidelines are for children 6 to 12 years of age.
Know that it is very difficult to diagnose ADHD in children younger than 5 years of age. That's because many preschool children have some ADHD symptoms in various situations. In addition, children change very rapidly during the preschool years. It is also difficult to diagnose ADHD once a child becomes a teenager.
The process of diagnosing ADHD requires several steps and involves gathering a lot of information from multiple sources. You, your child, your child's school, and other caregivers should be involved in assessing your child's behavior.
A physician can conduct a medical history to help put a child's behavior in context. They will ask what symptoms a child is showing, how long the symptoms have occurred, and how the behavior affects a child and his/her family.
Types of ADHD in Children
Doctors may classify symptoms as the following types of ADHD:
• Combined Type (Inattentive/Hyperactive/Impulsive). Children with this type of ADHD show all three symptoms. This is the most common form of ADHD.
• Hyperactive/Impulsive Type. Children show both hyperactive and impulsive behavior, but are able to pay attention.
• Inattentive Type. Formerly known as attention deficit disorder (ADD), these children are not overly active. They do not disrupt the classroom or other activities, so their symptoms might not be noticed.
ADHD Treatment Overview
Education of the child and family is an essential component of any treatment plan, which may encompass special education programs, psychological intervention, and drug treatment. Be sure to discuss all options with your child's health care provider to find the best treatment for him or her.
Studies show that long-term treatment with a combination of medications andbehavioral therapy is far superior to just medication treatment, or no specific treatments in managing hyperactivity, impulsivity, inattention, and symptoms of anxiety and depression. Those kids treated with both ADHD drugs and therapy also had better social skills.
Drugs for Childhood ADHD
A class of drugs called psychostimulants or stimulants for short is a highly effective treatment for childhood ADHD. These medicines, including Ritalin, Concerta, and Adderall XR, help children to focus their thoughts and ignore distractions. Stimulant medications are effective in 70% to 80% of patients.
Another treatment used to treat ADHD in kids is the nonstimulant medication, Strattera. More studies will need to be done to contrast Strattera with the medications already available, but the evidence to date indicates that over 70% of children with ADHD given Strattera have significant improvement in their symptoms.
ADHD medicines are available in short-acting (immediate-release), intermediate-acting, and long-acting forms. It may take some time for a physician to find the best medication, dosage, and schedule for an individual with ADHD. ADHD drugs sometimes have side effects, but these tend to happen early in treatment. Usually, side effects are mild and short-lived.
Behavioral Treatments for Children With ADHD
Behavioral treatment for children with ADHD involves adjusting the environment to promote more successful social interactions. Such adjustments include creating more structure, encouraging routines, and clearly stating expectations of the child with ADHD.
Other forms of ADHD treatment that may benefit the child include:
• Social skills training. This can help a child with ADHD learn behaviors that will help them develop and maintain social relationships.
• Support groups and parenting skills training. Education and support for the parents can be an integral part of treating ADHD in children.
What Treatment Is Best for My Child?
For children with ADHD, no single treatment is the answer for every child. A child may have undesirable side effects to a medication, making a particular treatment unacceptable. If a child with ADHD also has anxiety or depression, a treatment combining medication and behavioral therapy might be best. Each child's needs and personal history must be carefully considered. It is important to work with a physician to find the best solution for your child.
The ADHD Coach?
Coaching is a relatively new field in the treatment of ADHD in children. ADHD coaches are meant to help children achieve better results in different areas of their lives.
Posted by Lim Sin Loong, T3
Child Behavior: What Parents Can Do to Change Their Child's Behavior
What is normal behavior for a child?
Normal behavior in children depends on the child's age, personality, and physical and emotional development. A child's behavior may be a problem if it doesn't match the expectations of the family or if it is disruptive. Normal or "good" behavior is usually determined by whether it's socially, culturally and developmentally appropriate. Knowing what to expect from your child at each age will help you decide whether his or her behavior is normal.
What can I do to change my child's behavior?
Children tend to continue a behavior when it is rewarded and stop a behavior when it is ignored. Consistency in your reaction to a behavior is important because rewarding and punishing the same behavior at different times confuses your child. When your child's behavior is a problem, you have 3 choices:
• Decide that the behavior is not a problem because it's appropriate to the child's age and stage of development.
• Attempt to stop the behavior, either by ignoring it or by punishing it.
• Introduce a new behavior that you prefer and reinforce it by rewarding your child.
How do I stop misbehavior?
The best way to stop unwanted behavior is to ignore it. This way works best over a period of time. When you want the behavior to stop immediately, you can use the time-out method.
How do I use the time-out method?
Decide ahead of time the behaviors that will result in a time-out--usually tantrums, or aggressive or dangerous behavior. Choose a time-out place that is uninteresting for the child and not frightening, such as a chair, corner or playpen. When you're away from home, consider using a car or a nearby seating area as a time-out place.
When the unacceptable behavior occurs, tell the child the behavior is unacceptable and give a warning that you will put him or her in time-out if the behavior doesn't stop. Remain calm and don't look angry. If your child goes on misbehaving, calmly take him or her to the time-out area.
If possible, keep track of how long your child's been in time-out. Set a timer so your child will know when time-out is over. Time-out should be brief--generally 1 minute for each year of age--and should begin immediately after reaching the time-out place or after the child calms down. You should stay within sight or earshot of the child, but don't talk to him or her. If the child leaves the time-out area, gently return him or her to the area and consider resetting the timer. When the time-out is over, let the child leave the time-out place. Don't discuss the bad behavior, but look for ways to reward and reinforce good behavior later on.
How do I encourage a new, desired behavior?
One way to encourage good behavior is to use a reward system. This works best in children over 2 years of age. It can take up to 2 months to work. Being patient and keeping a diary of behavior can be helpful to parents.
Choose 1 to 2 behaviors you would like to change (such as bedtime habits, tooth brushing or picking up toys). Choose a reward your child would enjoy. Examples of good rewards are an extra bedtime story, delaying bedtime by half an hour, a preferred snack or, for older children, earning points toward a special toy, a privilege or a small amount of money.
Explain the desired behavior and the reward to the child. For example, "If you get into your pajamas and brush your teeth before this TV show is over, you can stay up a half hour later." Request the behavior only one time. If the child does what you ask, give the reward. You can help the child if necessary but don't get too involved. Because any attention from parents, even negative attention, is so rewarding to children, they may prefer to have parental attention instead of a reward at first. Transition statements, such as, "In 5 minutes, play time will be over," are helpful when you are teaching your child new behaviors.
This system helps you avoid power struggles with your child. However, your child is not punished if he or she chooses not to behave as you ask; he or she simply does not get the reward.
What are some good ways to reward my child?
Beat the Clock (good method for a dawdling child)
Ask the child to do a task. Set a timer. If the task is done before the timer rings, your child gets a reward. To decide the amount of time to give the child, figure out your child's "best time" to do that task and add 5 minutes.
The Good Behavior Game (good for teaching a new behavior)
Write a short list of good behaviors on a chart and mark the chart with a star each time you see the good behavior. After your child has earned a small number of stars (depending on the child's age), give him or her a reward.
Good Marks/Bad Marks (best method for difficult, highly active children)
In a short time (about an hour) put a mark on a chart or on your child's hand each time you see him or her performing a good behavior. For example, if you see your child playing quietly, solving a problem without fighting, picking up toys or reading a book, you would mark the chart. After a certain number of marks, give your child a reward. You can also make negative marks each time a bad behavior occurs. If you do this, only give your child a reward if there are more positive marks than negative marks.
Developing Quiet Time (often useful when you're making supper)
Ask your child to play quietly alone or with a sibling for a short time (maybe 30 minutes). Check on your child frequently (every 2 to 5 minutes, depending on the child's age) and give a reward or a token for each few minutes they were quiet or playing well. Gradually increase the intervals (go from checking your child's behavior every 2 to 5 minutes to checking every 30 minutes), but continue to give rewards for each time period your child was quiet or played well.
What else can I do to help my child behave well?
Make a short list of important rules and go over them with your child. Avoid power struggles, no-win situations and extremes. When you think you've overreacted, it's better to use common sense to solve the problem, even if you have to be inconsistent with your reward or punishment method. Avoid doing this often as it may confuse your child.
Accept your child's basic personality, whether it's shy, social, talkative or active. Basic personality can be changed a little, but not very much. Try to avoid situations that can make your child cranky, such as becoming overly stimulated, tired or bored. Don't criticize your child in front of other people. Describe your child's behavior as bad, but don't label your child as bad. Praise your child often when he or she deserves it. Touch him or her affectionately and often. Children want and need attention from their parents.
Develop little routines and rituals, especially at bedtimes and meal times. Provide transition remarks (such as "In 5 minutes, we'll be eating dinner."). Allow your child choices whenever possible. For example, you can ask, "Do you want to wear your red pajamas or your blue pajamas to bed tonight?"
As children get older, they may enjoy becoming involved in household rule making. Don't debate the rules at the time of misbehavior, but invite your child to participate in rule making at another time.
Children who learn that bad behavior is not tolerated and that good behavior is rewarded are learning skills that will last them a lifetime.
Why shouldn't I use physical punishment?
Parents may choose to use physical punishment (such as spanking) to stop undesirable behavior. The biggest drawback to this method is that although the punishment stops the bad behavior for a while, it doesn't teach your child to change his or her behavior. Disciplining your child is really just teaching him or her to choose good behaviors. If your child doesn't know a good behavior, he or she is likely to return to the bad behavior. Physical punishment becomes less effective with time and can cause the child to behave aggressively. It can also be carried too far -- into child abuse. Other methods of punishment are preferred and should be used whenever possible.
Posted by Lim Sin Loong, T3
Normal behavior in children depends on the child's age, personality, and physical and emotional development. A child's behavior may be a problem if it doesn't match the expectations of the family or if it is disruptive. Normal or "good" behavior is usually determined by whether it's socially, culturally and developmentally appropriate. Knowing what to expect from your child at each age will help you decide whether his or her behavior is normal.
What can I do to change my child's behavior?
Children tend to continue a behavior when it is rewarded and stop a behavior when it is ignored. Consistency in your reaction to a behavior is important because rewarding and punishing the same behavior at different times confuses your child. When your child's behavior is a problem, you have 3 choices:
• Decide that the behavior is not a problem because it's appropriate to the child's age and stage of development.
• Attempt to stop the behavior, either by ignoring it or by punishing it.
• Introduce a new behavior that you prefer and reinforce it by rewarding your child.
How do I stop misbehavior?
The best way to stop unwanted behavior is to ignore it. This way works best over a period of time. When you want the behavior to stop immediately, you can use the time-out method.
How do I use the time-out method?
Decide ahead of time the behaviors that will result in a time-out--usually tantrums, or aggressive or dangerous behavior. Choose a time-out place that is uninteresting for the child and not frightening, such as a chair, corner or playpen. When you're away from home, consider using a car or a nearby seating area as a time-out place.
When the unacceptable behavior occurs, tell the child the behavior is unacceptable and give a warning that you will put him or her in time-out if the behavior doesn't stop. Remain calm and don't look angry. If your child goes on misbehaving, calmly take him or her to the time-out area.
If possible, keep track of how long your child's been in time-out. Set a timer so your child will know when time-out is over. Time-out should be brief--generally 1 minute for each year of age--and should begin immediately after reaching the time-out place or after the child calms down. You should stay within sight or earshot of the child, but don't talk to him or her. If the child leaves the time-out area, gently return him or her to the area and consider resetting the timer. When the time-out is over, let the child leave the time-out place. Don't discuss the bad behavior, but look for ways to reward and reinforce good behavior later on.
How do I encourage a new, desired behavior?
One way to encourage good behavior is to use a reward system. This works best in children over 2 years of age. It can take up to 2 months to work. Being patient and keeping a diary of behavior can be helpful to parents.
Choose 1 to 2 behaviors you would like to change (such as bedtime habits, tooth brushing or picking up toys). Choose a reward your child would enjoy. Examples of good rewards are an extra bedtime story, delaying bedtime by half an hour, a preferred snack or, for older children, earning points toward a special toy, a privilege or a small amount of money.
Explain the desired behavior and the reward to the child. For example, "If you get into your pajamas and brush your teeth before this TV show is over, you can stay up a half hour later." Request the behavior only one time. If the child does what you ask, give the reward. You can help the child if necessary but don't get too involved. Because any attention from parents, even negative attention, is so rewarding to children, they may prefer to have parental attention instead of a reward at first. Transition statements, such as, "In 5 minutes, play time will be over," are helpful when you are teaching your child new behaviors.
This system helps you avoid power struggles with your child. However, your child is not punished if he or she chooses not to behave as you ask; he or she simply does not get the reward.
What are some good ways to reward my child?
Beat the Clock (good method for a dawdling child)
Ask the child to do a task. Set a timer. If the task is done before the timer rings, your child gets a reward. To decide the amount of time to give the child, figure out your child's "best time" to do that task and add 5 minutes.
The Good Behavior Game (good for teaching a new behavior)
Write a short list of good behaviors on a chart and mark the chart with a star each time you see the good behavior. After your child has earned a small number of stars (depending on the child's age), give him or her a reward.
Good Marks/Bad Marks (best method for difficult, highly active children)
In a short time (about an hour) put a mark on a chart or on your child's hand each time you see him or her performing a good behavior. For example, if you see your child playing quietly, solving a problem without fighting, picking up toys or reading a book, you would mark the chart. After a certain number of marks, give your child a reward. You can also make negative marks each time a bad behavior occurs. If you do this, only give your child a reward if there are more positive marks than negative marks.
Developing Quiet Time (often useful when you're making supper)
Ask your child to play quietly alone or with a sibling for a short time (maybe 30 minutes). Check on your child frequently (every 2 to 5 minutes, depending on the child's age) and give a reward or a token for each few minutes they were quiet or playing well. Gradually increase the intervals (go from checking your child's behavior every 2 to 5 minutes to checking every 30 minutes), but continue to give rewards for each time period your child was quiet or played well.
What else can I do to help my child behave well?
Make a short list of important rules and go over them with your child. Avoid power struggles, no-win situations and extremes. When you think you've overreacted, it's better to use common sense to solve the problem, even if you have to be inconsistent with your reward or punishment method. Avoid doing this often as it may confuse your child.
Accept your child's basic personality, whether it's shy, social, talkative or active. Basic personality can be changed a little, but not very much. Try to avoid situations that can make your child cranky, such as becoming overly stimulated, tired or bored. Don't criticize your child in front of other people. Describe your child's behavior as bad, but don't label your child as bad. Praise your child often when he or she deserves it. Touch him or her affectionately and often. Children want and need attention from their parents.
Develop little routines and rituals, especially at bedtimes and meal times. Provide transition remarks (such as "In 5 minutes, we'll be eating dinner."). Allow your child choices whenever possible. For example, you can ask, "Do you want to wear your red pajamas or your blue pajamas to bed tonight?"
As children get older, they may enjoy becoming involved in household rule making. Don't debate the rules at the time of misbehavior, but invite your child to participate in rule making at another time.
Children who learn that bad behavior is not tolerated and that good behavior is rewarded are learning skills that will last them a lifetime.
Why shouldn't I use physical punishment?
Parents may choose to use physical punishment (such as spanking) to stop undesirable behavior. The biggest drawback to this method is that although the punishment stops the bad behavior for a while, it doesn't teach your child to change his or her behavior. Disciplining your child is really just teaching him or her to choose good behaviors. If your child doesn't know a good behavior, he or she is likely to return to the bad behavior. Physical punishment becomes less effective with time and can cause the child to behave aggressively. It can also be carried too far -- into child abuse. Other methods of punishment are preferred and should be used whenever possible.
Posted by Lim Sin Loong, T3
Dealing with aggressive child
Although aggressive behavior such as hitting, screaming, and even biting is not seen as all that unusual from a child of one or two years of age, the same conduct in children merely a year or two older is often seen as cruel and problematic. Controlling feelings and emotions is, however, a learned skill and can be very difficult to master (even for some adults!).
Staying calm and collected not only requires a fair amount of self-control and discipline, but also a basic understanding of appropriate social behavior and morality. Most children under the age of five or six have a minimal comprehension of what exactly is socially acceptable, at least beyond pleasing Mom or Dad. Even then, some children may find it difficult to control their temper and yet there is often a difference between a child who is deceptively ‘acting out' (which is rare, and often due to an unstable or unsafe home environment) and one who is simply trying to be assertive.
The majority of children do not recognize their own strength or even the full consequences of their actions; and in a world where they are often being told what to do, where to go and how to behave, it does not seem all that unreasonable that they may sometimes need to speak out and be heard. Those school-aged children who continue to act obnoxiously or aggressively may have never experienced the opportunity of being truly listened to in a loving environment. Listening, on the part of parents involves not only hearing your children's jokes and laughter, but perhaps more importantly hearing about those hurt, angered and unhappy emotions as well. So often, children are not allowed to speak negatively, complain, or offer a difference of opinion and thus their feelings continue to build up until one day they may unintentionally vent or lash out. It is important to remember, however, that hearing your children out does not mean submitting to their every whim or desire.
Aside from releasing pent up emotions, children who behave aggressively may also do so because they have been rewarded for the conduct. Parents may have hoped to raise a child who is strong and able to stand up for him- or herself in rough situations. More commonly, parents may have inadvertently reinforced the aggressive behavior through attention. Indeed, even nagging or punishing children for acting aggressively can make it more likely that they will act that way in the future. Imagine, if you will, a child quietly piecing a puzzle together or even playing a video game. He/She has almost completed the puzzle/game but cannot get the final pieces/play to come together. Throughout this quiet half an hour the parent has been around but has said absolutely nothing. Nothing, that is until the child becomes obviously frustrated and throws the puzzle/game across the room and begins screaming or swearing loudly. At this point the parent intervenes by reprimanding the child and sending him/her to their room. It would appear that the parent has done everything appropriate in this situation, except for the fact that the only attention this child received during the time period was negative. If this is commonly the case, the child may begin to feel that any attention is better than no attention and as a result may continue to act out disruptively in daily activities. When dealing with aggressive children, it is worth the effort to praise even the smallest attempt at proper behavior, while paying very little if any attention to negative conduct. Praise can be a very strong motivator.
It is also important to remember that behavior can be very difficult to change and that it takes a lot of patience. Turning an aggressive child into a nonaggressive child will not happen overnight, and the odd outburst may even occur once the behavior has seemed to restore itself.
In dealing with aggressive children, regardless of their age, here are a few suggestions to consider:
KNOW THE TRIGGERS
Whether it be rush hour traffic or spilled juice, everyone has those things that really aggravate or irritate them, and children are no different. While they may not be as great at expressing what upsets them, things like a late meal, a missed soccer game, or even a forgotten bedtime story can really agitate children and make them angry. Knowing that your child becomes easily upset under certain circumstances allows parents or care-givers to avoid or work around these situations -- or at the very least, be prepared for them. It might be helpful to keep a journal to figure out what times of day or what occurs prior to each time your child becomes upset. If mornings are difficult for your child, perhaps allow them some extra time to wake up or do not ask a whole lot form them at this point in time. If not being allowed to purchase a toy from the store usually sends them into a tantrum, warn them ahead of time or if possible just leave them at home.
AVOID PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT
It can be very easy to become angered and even outraged at a misbehaving child, especially an older one who probably should know better. Just be cautious of how you express your feelings, because the children are always watching and learning from you. Yelling or hitting an already angered and destructive child seems only to up the anti. If you expect your children to act responsibly and calmly, be sure to do so yourself. And remember, even a ten or twelve year-old girl or boy is still a child. Children do not form intent the same way adults do and often have little desire to hurt or upset you. They merely need to express themselves and have not yet learned to do so in a socially acceptable manner.
KNOW YOUR CHILD'S TEMPERAMENT
Everyone is born with a unique temperament or personality. Some people tend to be more reserved or timid, while others are always outgoing and spontaneous. Similarly, some children tend to be more outwardly assertive and aggressive and others less so. Knowing your child's personality allows you the advantage of foresight. If your child does not do well with unexpected occurrences, try to keep his or her day routine. Use the insight.
BE A ROLE MODEL
This is perhaps the hardest part of being a parent or caregiver. Role-modeling your own behavior can be difficult even in the easiest of times, but particularly if arguing or fighting is a common occurrence in your household. Nevertheless, you should not expect from others that which you cannot put forth yourself. Even the odd volatile joke or sarcastic remark can be misinterpreted by children, so watch not only your actions but also your words. Being a role model not only involves controlling your own emotions, but also teaching your children how to express theirs — both good and bad— appropriately. Modeling support and compassion for others is an important beginning place, so you may want to volunteer some of your time. Simply bring your neighbor some fresh cut flowers or a fruit basket to say "hello". Visit sick children in the hospital. Work at the food bank with your children over the Christmas holidays. Be the kind of person that you would like your child to grow up to be.
EXPRESS YOURSELF
Along the same lines as being a role model, be sure to give your children the chance to see all of your own personal emotions. Modeling appropriate behavior should not be equated with hiding your feelings or fears from them. It is important for your children to see that you are also human, and that it is possible to have the esteem and self-control to act rationally even when feelings may not be.
REWARD GOOD BEHAVIOR
Although some parents may see rewards as a form of bardering or bribery, it does not have to be that extreme. It also can work really well for older children who in no other way seem to want to stop their aggressive tendencies. Offering your children well-deserved praise, a play at the park, or an opportunity to play at a friends house for proper conduct can work wonders. The key is to inform them of what is first expected, to reward them soon if not immediately after they obey, and to always withhold any and all rewards if they do not obey. So for example, if your child has made it through a shopping trip without any yelling, crying, or hitting, you may want to stop at the park with them on the way home as a thank you. Offering them the park the next day is already too late as it gives them the chance to act inappropriately in the mean time. For rewards to work effectively they also cannot be given to your children if they have not done what was expected of them. Toys can be used as well, but they are not advised and it is always best to start off small otherwise your child may be asking for things each and every time he or she behaves. The best kind of reward is praise. Children need to know their parents are proud of them.
STAY CALM
No matter how agitated, upset, or aggressive your child becomes, it is much easier for them to relax if you are also calm. Despite your own concern, do not try to rationalize with them until they have calmed down. Try sending them into their room, or if you have to take yourself out of the situation and stay in your own bedroom or bathroom. If they become overly violent or aggressive you may need to take drastic measures. Call the police if necessary, but stay calm. The more aggravated your child sees you become the more power he or she has gained over you and the more likely he will be to repeat the behavior.
UNCONCERNED CHILDREN
As a final note, if your child tends to be destructive often and does not seem to benefit from appropriate parental intervention, or actually seems to enjoy harming others, please seek professional advice.
Posted by Lim Sin Loong, T3
Staying calm and collected not only requires a fair amount of self-control and discipline, but also a basic understanding of appropriate social behavior and morality. Most children under the age of five or six have a minimal comprehension of what exactly is socially acceptable, at least beyond pleasing Mom or Dad. Even then, some children may find it difficult to control their temper and yet there is often a difference between a child who is deceptively ‘acting out' (which is rare, and often due to an unstable or unsafe home environment) and one who is simply trying to be assertive.
The majority of children do not recognize their own strength or even the full consequences of their actions; and in a world where they are often being told what to do, where to go and how to behave, it does not seem all that unreasonable that they may sometimes need to speak out and be heard. Those school-aged children who continue to act obnoxiously or aggressively may have never experienced the opportunity of being truly listened to in a loving environment. Listening, on the part of parents involves not only hearing your children's jokes and laughter, but perhaps more importantly hearing about those hurt, angered and unhappy emotions as well. So often, children are not allowed to speak negatively, complain, or offer a difference of opinion and thus their feelings continue to build up until one day they may unintentionally vent or lash out. It is important to remember, however, that hearing your children out does not mean submitting to their every whim or desire.
Aside from releasing pent up emotions, children who behave aggressively may also do so because they have been rewarded for the conduct. Parents may have hoped to raise a child who is strong and able to stand up for him- or herself in rough situations. More commonly, parents may have inadvertently reinforced the aggressive behavior through attention. Indeed, even nagging or punishing children for acting aggressively can make it more likely that they will act that way in the future. Imagine, if you will, a child quietly piecing a puzzle together or even playing a video game. He/She has almost completed the puzzle/game but cannot get the final pieces/play to come together. Throughout this quiet half an hour the parent has been around but has said absolutely nothing. Nothing, that is until the child becomes obviously frustrated and throws the puzzle/game across the room and begins screaming or swearing loudly. At this point the parent intervenes by reprimanding the child and sending him/her to their room. It would appear that the parent has done everything appropriate in this situation, except for the fact that the only attention this child received during the time period was negative. If this is commonly the case, the child may begin to feel that any attention is better than no attention and as a result may continue to act out disruptively in daily activities. When dealing with aggressive children, it is worth the effort to praise even the smallest attempt at proper behavior, while paying very little if any attention to negative conduct. Praise can be a very strong motivator.
It is also important to remember that behavior can be very difficult to change and that it takes a lot of patience. Turning an aggressive child into a nonaggressive child will not happen overnight, and the odd outburst may even occur once the behavior has seemed to restore itself.
In dealing with aggressive children, regardless of their age, here are a few suggestions to consider:
KNOW THE TRIGGERS
Whether it be rush hour traffic or spilled juice, everyone has those things that really aggravate or irritate them, and children are no different. While they may not be as great at expressing what upsets them, things like a late meal, a missed soccer game, or even a forgotten bedtime story can really agitate children and make them angry. Knowing that your child becomes easily upset under certain circumstances allows parents or care-givers to avoid or work around these situations -- or at the very least, be prepared for them. It might be helpful to keep a journal to figure out what times of day or what occurs prior to each time your child becomes upset. If mornings are difficult for your child, perhaps allow them some extra time to wake up or do not ask a whole lot form them at this point in time. If not being allowed to purchase a toy from the store usually sends them into a tantrum, warn them ahead of time or if possible just leave them at home.
AVOID PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT
It can be very easy to become angered and even outraged at a misbehaving child, especially an older one who probably should know better. Just be cautious of how you express your feelings, because the children are always watching and learning from you. Yelling or hitting an already angered and destructive child seems only to up the anti. If you expect your children to act responsibly and calmly, be sure to do so yourself. And remember, even a ten or twelve year-old girl or boy is still a child. Children do not form intent the same way adults do and often have little desire to hurt or upset you. They merely need to express themselves and have not yet learned to do so in a socially acceptable manner.
KNOW YOUR CHILD'S TEMPERAMENT
Everyone is born with a unique temperament or personality. Some people tend to be more reserved or timid, while others are always outgoing and spontaneous. Similarly, some children tend to be more outwardly assertive and aggressive and others less so. Knowing your child's personality allows you the advantage of foresight. If your child does not do well with unexpected occurrences, try to keep his or her day routine. Use the insight.
BE A ROLE MODEL
This is perhaps the hardest part of being a parent or caregiver. Role-modeling your own behavior can be difficult even in the easiest of times, but particularly if arguing or fighting is a common occurrence in your household. Nevertheless, you should not expect from others that which you cannot put forth yourself. Even the odd volatile joke or sarcastic remark can be misinterpreted by children, so watch not only your actions but also your words. Being a role model not only involves controlling your own emotions, but also teaching your children how to express theirs — both good and bad— appropriately. Modeling support and compassion for others is an important beginning place, so you may want to volunteer some of your time. Simply bring your neighbor some fresh cut flowers or a fruit basket to say "hello". Visit sick children in the hospital. Work at the food bank with your children over the Christmas holidays. Be the kind of person that you would like your child to grow up to be.
EXPRESS YOURSELF
Along the same lines as being a role model, be sure to give your children the chance to see all of your own personal emotions. Modeling appropriate behavior should not be equated with hiding your feelings or fears from them. It is important for your children to see that you are also human, and that it is possible to have the esteem and self-control to act rationally even when feelings may not be.
REWARD GOOD BEHAVIOR
Although some parents may see rewards as a form of bardering or bribery, it does not have to be that extreme. It also can work really well for older children who in no other way seem to want to stop their aggressive tendencies. Offering your children well-deserved praise, a play at the park, or an opportunity to play at a friends house for proper conduct can work wonders. The key is to inform them of what is first expected, to reward them soon if not immediately after they obey, and to always withhold any and all rewards if they do not obey. So for example, if your child has made it through a shopping trip without any yelling, crying, or hitting, you may want to stop at the park with them on the way home as a thank you. Offering them the park the next day is already too late as it gives them the chance to act inappropriately in the mean time. For rewards to work effectively they also cannot be given to your children if they have not done what was expected of them. Toys can be used as well, but they are not advised and it is always best to start off small otherwise your child may be asking for things each and every time he or she behaves. The best kind of reward is praise. Children need to know their parents are proud of them.
STAY CALM
No matter how agitated, upset, or aggressive your child becomes, it is much easier for them to relax if you are also calm. Despite your own concern, do not try to rationalize with them until they have calmed down. Try sending them into their room, or if you have to take yourself out of the situation and stay in your own bedroom or bathroom. If they become overly violent or aggressive you may need to take drastic measures. Call the police if necessary, but stay calm. The more aggravated your child sees you become the more power he or she has gained over you and the more likely he will be to repeat the behavior.
UNCONCERNED CHILDREN
As a final note, if your child tends to be destructive often and does not seem to benefit from appropriate parental intervention, or actually seems to enjoy harming others, please seek professional advice.
Posted by Lim Sin Loong, T3
What is your child trying to say?
Parents can better understand what their children are saying when they are in tune with them, like singing a song along with a fine tuned musical instrument. When we think of parenting as being like the sound of music, we see that being in tune creates harmony, but when the instrument is out of tune with the song we sing, what we hear leaves us confused. In fact, being out of tune creates what becomes irritating to our ears and hard to hear. That’s when harmony is replaced with communication mistakes which create huge parenting headaches.HOW TO BE IN TUNE WITH WHAT CHILDREN THINK, SAY AND DO:1. Know why and when a child is saying,”I’m afraid.”
Understanding your child’s developmental stage and age is the best way to understand what they say by the way they behave. When we consider the process of child development, we will see why a child’s way to communicate can be confusing, especially within early childhood. What may seem obvious to you won’t make much sense to a child who can’t understand the logical reasons parents do what they do.
If the parent is out of tune or confused as to what goes through the mind of a three year-old child, they won’t understand why their child misbehaves or acts out. They’ll be out of tune with the way their child thinks when they leave the child with someone else and assume the child can understand they’ll eventually come back, but in fact, the child might be thinking, “Mommy and dad will never come back.” That’s when the child will have an anxiety attack that makes them mad, so the next thing you know, the day care is calling you to say, “Your child is misbehaving today, and in fact, he just hit and/or bit another kid.”
Parent’s who are in tune to their children’s developmental stage can see that when their child misbehaves, it usually means they are trying to say, “I’m afraid.” Being in tune with your child’s level of ability to comprehend the concept of object permanence will help you understand why your child gets mad and acts out when you’re out of sight. To get in tune with your child, you can then communicate with them and behave in ways that teach the child to see that just because you leave the room doesn’t mean you’ve abandoned them, but you still exist and you’ll come back into their view soon.
2. Listen to words never heard when a child is saying,”My needs are not being met.”Have you ever seen a child scream and throw a fit in public? If and when you do, you’ll see with your own eyes exactly what that child needs, but the parent often looks confused. They don’t seem to have a clue that their child is publically screaming, “I need you to discipline me.” When children aren’t provided with guidance on how to behave in socially pleasing ways, their socially inappropriate behavior says, “Please teach me how to behave in public.”Another way a child communicates an unmet need might be to get cranky and even mean when their need to eat and sleep at appropriate times are not met, due to the parent’s lack of time and the mess that comes from stress. With no sense of order or routine, children scream, cry, whine and get mean as a way to say, “Feed me please, and then, put me to bed so I can get some rest.”
Then again, there are endless ways children misbehave as a way to communicate with words never heard, but alarmingly seen when they begin to climb the walls, behave in obnoxious ways and throw a fit or two to say to you, “Pay attention to me please.”
3. Become in tune with your child’s mood to see if they’re saying, “I need a boost from you.”
When parents use their ears and eyes to become tuned into their child’s moods, they’ll see how to fine tune the keys a child needs for a healthy self esteem. Gloomy moods might be a child’s way to say, “I’m lonely and I don’t think anyone likes me.” Lashing out in frustration can be a way to say, “Someone bullied me today.” On the other hand, when a child isolates himself in his room, it could be that he is telling you, “I don’t fit in with other kids.” Being in tune with your child means you’ll see the unseen and read between the lines that children tend to hide behind. In other words, children need to be seen and heard to develop a sense of belonging and worth.
4. When teens behave in irrational ways, it’s a way to say,”I’m confused.”
Although your teen may be the size of an adult, their brains remain childish until the human mind can be completely developed with the maturity it takes to use their God given common sense. In the mean time, a teen will be confused while living within an adult size body and a child like mind at the same time. That’s why teens tend to do illogical things as a way to explain, “I’m confused and I don’t know what to do.” It’s as if they ask themselves every day, ” How do I think through my child like mind and behave as maturely as I appear to be?”This confusion is why parents of teens so often say, “My teen drives me insane,” and it’s also why teens complain all the time, “My parents don’t understand me.” Being tuned in with the confusing aspects of what it means to be a teen will help you clearly see what he or she is actually saying when they do those crazy things teens do, such as, “I still need you to guide my life.” Even though they look grown up, a teen is still a kid who needs a few boundaries and rules set by you, who has a mind that fits your body size.
5. By the way, children of any age behave in ways that say, “I need you to be pleased with me.”
The biggest mistake some parents make is when they pay more attention to the mistakes their children make, than to what their children do to pleas them. Although people say every day,”No news is good news,” that’s not true when it comes to parenting. Everything good a child says or does must be seen and acknowledged through the reinforcement of good news which comes from you. Praise goes a long way to make up for the fact that we sometimes miss what our kids are trying to say.
After all, when people are pleased and pleasing, they tend to create ways to communicate which sounds and feels like harmony. That’s why it’s wise to keep in mind that when it comes to a child’s need to please his or her parents, there’s no age or phase that makes the need to please obsolete, so look for the signs and behave accordingly. That’s when you’ll be more likely to see a sparkle in your children’s eyes and a smile on their face, which will be their way to say, “My parents are proud of me today.”
Posted by Lim Sin Loong, T3
Understanding your child’s developmental stage and age is the best way to understand what they say by the way they behave. When we consider the process of child development, we will see why a child’s way to communicate can be confusing, especially within early childhood. What may seem obvious to you won’t make much sense to a child who can’t understand the logical reasons parents do what they do.
If the parent is out of tune or confused as to what goes through the mind of a three year-old child, they won’t understand why their child misbehaves or acts out. They’ll be out of tune with the way their child thinks when they leave the child with someone else and assume the child can understand they’ll eventually come back, but in fact, the child might be thinking, “Mommy and dad will never come back.” That’s when the child will have an anxiety attack that makes them mad, so the next thing you know, the day care is calling you to say, “Your child is misbehaving today, and in fact, he just hit and/or bit another kid.”
Parent’s who are in tune to their children’s developmental stage can see that when their child misbehaves, it usually means they are trying to say, “I’m afraid.” Being in tune with your child’s level of ability to comprehend the concept of object permanence will help you understand why your child gets mad and acts out when you’re out of sight. To get in tune with your child, you can then communicate with them and behave in ways that teach the child to see that just because you leave the room doesn’t mean you’ve abandoned them, but you still exist and you’ll come back into their view soon.
2. Listen to words never heard when a child is saying,”My needs are not being met.”Have you ever seen a child scream and throw a fit in public? If and when you do, you’ll see with your own eyes exactly what that child needs, but the parent often looks confused. They don’t seem to have a clue that their child is publically screaming, “I need you to discipline me.” When children aren’t provided with guidance on how to behave in socially pleasing ways, their socially inappropriate behavior says, “Please teach me how to behave in public.”Another way a child communicates an unmet need might be to get cranky and even mean when their need to eat and sleep at appropriate times are not met, due to the parent’s lack of time and the mess that comes from stress. With no sense of order or routine, children scream, cry, whine and get mean as a way to say, “Feed me please, and then, put me to bed so I can get some rest.”
Then again, there are endless ways children misbehave as a way to communicate with words never heard, but alarmingly seen when they begin to climb the walls, behave in obnoxious ways and throw a fit or two to say to you, “Pay attention to me please.”
3. Become in tune with your child’s mood to see if they’re saying, “I need a boost from you.”
When parents use their ears and eyes to become tuned into their child’s moods, they’ll see how to fine tune the keys a child needs for a healthy self esteem. Gloomy moods might be a child’s way to say, “I’m lonely and I don’t think anyone likes me.” Lashing out in frustration can be a way to say, “Someone bullied me today.” On the other hand, when a child isolates himself in his room, it could be that he is telling you, “I don’t fit in with other kids.” Being in tune with your child means you’ll see the unseen and read between the lines that children tend to hide behind. In other words, children need to be seen and heard to develop a sense of belonging and worth.
4. When teens behave in irrational ways, it’s a way to say,”I’m confused.”
Although your teen may be the size of an adult, their brains remain childish until the human mind can be completely developed with the maturity it takes to use their God given common sense. In the mean time, a teen will be confused while living within an adult size body and a child like mind at the same time. That’s why teens tend to do illogical things as a way to explain, “I’m confused and I don’t know what to do.” It’s as if they ask themselves every day, ” How do I think through my child like mind and behave as maturely as I appear to be?”This confusion is why parents of teens so often say, “My teen drives me insane,” and it’s also why teens complain all the time, “My parents don’t understand me.” Being tuned in with the confusing aspects of what it means to be a teen will help you clearly see what he or she is actually saying when they do those crazy things teens do, such as, “I still need you to guide my life.” Even though they look grown up, a teen is still a kid who needs a few boundaries and rules set by you, who has a mind that fits your body size.
5. By the way, children of any age behave in ways that say, “I need you to be pleased with me.”
The biggest mistake some parents make is when they pay more attention to the mistakes their children make, than to what their children do to pleas them. Although people say every day,”No news is good news,” that’s not true when it comes to parenting. Everything good a child says or does must be seen and acknowledged through the reinforcement of good news which comes from you. Praise goes a long way to make up for the fact that we sometimes miss what our kids are trying to say.
After all, when people are pleased and pleasing, they tend to create ways to communicate which sounds and feels like harmony. That’s why it’s wise to keep in mind that when it comes to a child’s need to please his or her parents, there’s no age or phase that makes the need to please obsolete, so look for the signs and behave accordingly. That’s when you’ll be more likely to see a sparkle in your children’s eyes and a smile on their face, which will be their way to say, “My parents are proud of me today.”
Posted by Lim Sin Loong, T3
Why does a four year old still cry for Mommy?
In 1958 John Bowlby published a paper entitled The Nature of a Child's Tie to His Mother (Bowlby, J. (1958). The Nature of the Child's Tie to his Mother1. Int. J. Psycho-Anal., 39:350-373). With this paper, an understanding of humans called Attachment Theory was born. In the decades that followed this paper, research has demonstrated that the quality of attachment between mother and child predicts later functioning in many areas of life. The only time this attachment does not predict functioning is when kids take up with callous peers or when there is significant psychological trauma. In other words, a secure attachment is important but is not sufficient for well-being.
How can a parent tell if a child is securely attached?
Unfortunately secure attachment is a laboratory, not a life concept. The test for secure attachment can only be done by especially trained researchers/clinicians. Nonetheless, parents are often concerned that a number of childhood behaviors may indicate problems with attachment. I recently came across an example of this problem. A friend of mine has a four year old daughter who is very bright and generally happy. The child enjoys playing with her sisters and other children. She is not particularly anxious or fearful. However, this child does not like to be without her mother. At times, she cries at preschool because she wants Momma. The question is, "Does a four year old who cries for Momma have a disordered attachment or any other psychological problem?"
In our times, most women with 4 year old children are working full-time. We have little tolerance for four year olds who "act like babies" and cry for their parents. Therefore, it is convenient for us to label this behavior disordered and blame the child and not our lifestyles. Other than the desire to be with mom, my friend's child displays no sign of any psychological disorder. Thankfully, my friend is not working full-time and can be there for her daughter. However, my friend wonders if she should "give in" when her four year old yearns for her. In my view attachment specialists have failed because the field does not answer this question for the public. In fact, I would bet that if my friend took her daughter to 5 different specialists in the area, she would get five different answers. I will therefore provide my own opinion on this question.
Why does a four year old still cry for Mommy?
Attachment means one thing, that is a compulsion for proximity seeking. People who are attached seek to be near one another. Yes, attachment is a compulsion, a behavior we feel compelled to do. The attached person feels compelled to be near that special other. In normal young children, this compulsion is very strong and is the driving force behind much of what they do. This compulsion is also very important for psychological well-being. In fact, when it is absent, children are very disordered. Imagine the child who doesn't care whether his parents are around. That child is disordered! No one knows how much time in minutes/hours a child needs to be physically with his parents in order to have well-being. The answer is likely different for different children even of the same age.
During the preschool years, children also begin to develop what researchers call Self Regulation, an ability I have called impulse control. This ability enables a child to cope with all his many drives, compulsions and emotions. In the case of my friend, her daughter has not yet developed the impulse control necessary to cope with this very strong compulsion. We know that physical affection between parents and children strengthens the development of impulse control. We also know that helping a child understand and cope with his drives and emotions strengthens impulse control. Therefore, depriving a child of the contact he seeks will weaken NOT strengthen his impulse control. Rejecting a preschooler who wants us will likely impair his development and will weaken his sense of independence and competency. When parents require premature independence, children grow up with less impulse control and may be more vulnerable to developing ADHD.
But what if life circumstances make it impossible for mom to be there? In the case of the compulsion to be with mom, it is important not to require a child to exercise control over this impulse before he is ready. We don't want our children to develop the idea that wanting mom is a sign of weakness or something to be ashamed of. My advice is to have the child keep a picture of his mother with him at daycare or preschool. Staff should be instructed to have the child look at the picture when he misses mom. Staff can also say encouraging words like, "I know you miss your mom, she'll be here in just a little while, then you will be together." Staff can also help the child learn to use distraction to cope, "Let's draw a picture for your mom." "I know your mom wants you to try to have fun playing while you are here."
To sum it all up, many young children can adapt successfully to the demands of modern life. However, there are some vulnerable children for whom too much separation from parents may be harmful. Families have to be able provide for the special needs of these vulnerable children. This is the real meaning of putting the well-being of a child first in our lives.
Posted by Lim Sin Loong, T3
How can a parent tell if a child is securely attached?
Unfortunately secure attachment is a laboratory, not a life concept. The test for secure attachment can only be done by especially trained researchers/clinicians. Nonetheless, parents are often concerned that a number of childhood behaviors may indicate problems with attachment. I recently came across an example of this problem. A friend of mine has a four year old daughter who is very bright and generally happy. The child enjoys playing with her sisters and other children. She is not particularly anxious or fearful. However, this child does not like to be without her mother. At times, she cries at preschool because she wants Momma. The question is, "Does a four year old who cries for Momma have a disordered attachment or any other psychological problem?"
In our times, most women with 4 year old children are working full-time. We have little tolerance for four year olds who "act like babies" and cry for their parents. Therefore, it is convenient for us to label this behavior disordered and blame the child and not our lifestyles. Other than the desire to be with mom, my friend's child displays no sign of any psychological disorder. Thankfully, my friend is not working full-time and can be there for her daughter. However, my friend wonders if she should "give in" when her four year old yearns for her. In my view attachment specialists have failed because the field does not answer this question for the public. In fact, I would bet that if my friend took her daughter to 5 different specialists in the area, she would get five different answers. I will therefore provide my own opinion on this question.
Why does a four year old still cry for Mommy?
Attachment means one thing, that is a compulsion for proximity seeking. People who are attached seek to be near one another. Yes, attachment is a compulsion, a behavior we feel compelled to do. The attached person feels compelled to be near that special other. In normal young children, this compulsion is very strong and is the driving force behind much of what they do. This compulsion is also very important for psychological well-being. In fact, when it is absent, children are very disordered. Imagine the child who doesn't care whether his parents are around. That child is disordered! No one knows how much time in minutes/hours a child needs to be physically with his parents in order to have well-being. The answer is likely different for different children even of the same age.
During the preschool years, children also begin to develop what researchers call Self Regulation, an ability I have called impulse control. This ability enables a child to cope with all his many drives, compulsions and emotions. In the case of my friend, her daughter has not yet developed the impulse control necessary to cope with this very strong compulsion. We know that physical affection between parents and children strengthens the development of impulse control. We also know that helping a child understand and cope with his drives and emotions strengthens impulse control. Therefore, depriving a child of the contact he seeks will weaken NOT strengthen his impulse control. Rejecting a preschooler who wants us will likely impair his development and will weaken his sense of independence and competency. When parents require premature independence, children grow up with less impulse control and may be more vulnerable to developing ADHD.
But what if life circumstances make it impossible for mom to be there? In the case of the compulsion to be with mom, it is important not to require a child to exercise control over this impulse before he is ready. We don't want our children to develop the idea that wanting mom is a sign of weakness or something to be ashamed of. My advice is to have the child keep a picture of his mother with him at daycare or preschool. Staff should be instructed to have the child look at the picture when he misses mom. Staff can also say encouraging words like, "I know you miss your mom, she'll be here in just a little while, then you will be together." Staff can also help the child learn to use distraction to cope, "Let's draw a picture for your mom." "I know your mom wants you to try to have fun playing while you are here."
To sum it all up, many young children can adapt successfully to the demands of modern life. However, there are some vulnerable children for whom too much separation from parents may be harmful. Families have to be able provide for the special needs of these vulnerable children. This is the real meaning of putting the well-being of a child first in our lives.
Posted by Lim Sin Loong, T3
First Steps At Just Six Months
Published: 16 Feb 2010
The tot - who has just learnt to crawl - can walk 6ft unaided, something most one-year-olds struggle with.
THIS is baby Xavier King taking his first steps... at just SIX MONTHS old.
Parents Mary, 30, and David, 27, knew he was a fast learner when he sat up alone at three months.
But they were amazed when he started wobbling round their front room in Cambridge.
Mary said: "We couldn't believe it when he started putting one leg in front of the other.
"I can't leave him alone - I've had to buy a play pen so he doesn't get into mischief."
Child development experts say it is "extremely uncommon".
Consultant paediatrician Dr Martin Ward Platt said: "It brings forward the moment when parents need eyes in the back of their heads."
Posted by Tan Shi Sheng, T3
Sunday, April 18, 2010
An observation
this is an a baby girl name Sophie was giving her commentary on why a little one was crying recently at our local greek festival
received from - yee shan
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Music Education Benefits
Most experts agree that children who study music at an early age not only excel academicallly, but see emotional benefits as well.
Posted by Wong Shui Tong, T3
Learning is child's play
By Basant K. Kapur, For The Straits Times
THE early years of an individual's life have a formative influence on his future development, even though they do not entirely determine it. As the saying goes: 'Great oaks from little acorns grow.'
A striking example is a recent observation by Singapore Youth Award 2006 winner, nanotechnology researcher Yeo Yee Chia: 'A kid has a lot of questions but as people grow older, they become less and less inquisitive. Maybe I'm like a child because I've stayed inquisitive.'
How can we best nurture children's talent? Ironically, it appears this is best done by not taking an instrumental view of childhood, but by letting children enjoy the precious few years when they are children. They should be allowed ample time to engage in spontaneous, undirected play, both by themselves and with other children.
In a 2007 article in the American Academy of Paediatrics, Dr K.R. Ginsburg wrote: 'Play allows children to use their creativity while developing their imagination, dexterity, and physical, cognitive and emotional strength. Play is important to healthy brain development...Undirected play allows children to learn how to work in groups, to share, to negotiate.'
Another expert, Mr S. Smilansky, writing in 1990, found that play was directly linked to a wealth of skills that are essential for academic success: better verbalisation, richer vocabulary, better problem- solving strategies, higher intellectual competence, more curiosity, greater empathy, better emotional and social adjustment, more innovation, more imaginativeness, and so on.
Mr K. Hirsch-Pasek and Mr R.M. Golinkoff, writing in 2003, found that play teaches children to think 'outside the box' and helps them cope with 'divergent' problem-solving - that is, where there are many possible ways to solve a problem.
A German news magazine, Der Spiegel, ran a report in 1997 comparing 50 play-oriented kindergartens with 50 academically-oriented ones in Germany. The children from the play-oriented kindergartens excelled over the others in every aspect - physical, emotional, social, and intellectual. The results were especially striking among lower-income children. The results were so compelling that Germany switched all its kindergartens back to being play-oriented.
Mr R.A. Marcon found in 2002 that children who had attended play-oriented pre-school programmes, in which child-driven activities predominated, performed better academically than those who had attended academic-oriented programmes.
The benefits seem to extend all the way into adulthood. Mr S. Brown, comparing the winners of the MacArthur 'genius' award with individuals in prison, found in 1999 that the latter did not have a history of play in their lives whereas the former had a rich history of play from childhood onwards.
How does pre-school education in Singapore measure up from this standpoint? While there is a mix of play and academic instruction, it appears that the balance is tilted towards the latter. The Ministry of Education's homepage says pre-school education 'includes learning activities that develop language and literacy skills, basic number concepts, simple science concepts, social skills, creative and problem solving skills, appreciation of music and movement and outdoor play'.
An article by Ms N.D. Suhaimi in The Straits Times in December 2007 was more specific. She quoted the owner of a Montessori school as saying: 'At Primary 1, teachers expect children to know how to multiply, divide and even work out simple fractions.'
Ms Lina Ong, founder of Babies Inc, an infant school, was reported as saying: 'We're probably the only country in the world that requires children to know how to spell and count before kindergarten.'
A comparison with Finland - widely acknowledged to have an excellent education system, and identified by the World Economic Forum (WEF) as having the world's most competitive economy in 2006 - is illustrative. A recent working paper by Y.W. Yong, A. Chongvilaivan, and J.Y. Chew for the Singapore Centre for Applied and Policy Economics - from which I derived most of the quotations above - observed: 'Whilst children in Singapore are expected to know their ABCs and basic mathematics when they enter primary schools, children in Finland are expected to learn the basics of reading, writing, and mathematics only when they enter comprehensive schools (at age seven).'
Evidently, the highly play-oriented nature of pre-school education in Finland has not worked to its educational or economic disadvantage. In fact, the reverse is the case. The WEF has praised Finland's 'culture of innovation'.
Parental pressure is often cited as a factor in the demands kindergartens place on young children here. But parents are probably responding to what they perceive to be the 'expected attainments' of children when they enter primary school. Ideally, there should be a gradual, seamless transition from kindergarten to primary school, with enough time for undirected play during the primary school years as well. However, this appears not to be the case, as a spate of recent newspaper articles and letters indicates.
One reader said his daughter had to take six year-end examinations in Primary 1. Another noted: 'The children (in her son's Primary 1 class) get tons of homework, frequent tests, and, yes, a list of homework for the June holidays which include maths and English exercises, reading 10 story books, making a model of the school, producing a health booklet and writing a journal thrice a week.'
Reporter Tan Dawn Wei of this newspaper reported: Nearly half (of 200 primary school pupils polled) said they felt they weren't getting enough sleep each day, and homework and tuition were the top reasons they cited for turning in late.' Apparently the education authorities here think that lower primary pupils should get 'at least eight hours' of sleep a day, while paediatricians recommend 10-11 hours. As Ms Tan observed, 'sleep deprivation can affect a child's attention, memory, decision-making and creativity'.
It would appear that the 'Teach Less, Learn More' initiative announced a few years ago is not being adequately practised in schools. As MOE re-looks pre-school education in Singapore, it should also reduce the 'expected attainments' at primary school entry, as well as the primary school workload, and ensure that there is a smooth, painless - and ultimately more productive - transition to primary school.
The writer is professor of economics and director, Singapore Centre for Applied and Policy Economics, Department of Economics, NUS.
This article was first published in The Straits Times on 3 Jan, 2009.
Posted by Wong Shui Tong, T3
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