Nurturing Your Child's Creativity

A growing source of concern is the lack of creativity children are expressing in their interest at home and at school. Parents are wondering what they can do to nurture creativity. Here are a few simple guidelines that can help you ensure that your child’s creativity will prosper.

1. Avoid training your child that they are to be entertained. Whether it’s constant TV watching, playing video games, or trips to the theme park, or weekly shopping expeditions, kids are becoming more and more conditioned to expect entertainment. This is probably the most dangerous threat to your child’s creativity. If they are allowed to spend endless hours seeking passive entertainment, without active engagement, it is clear that their creative capacities will suffer.

2. Creativity is like a muscle….it has to be worked. Kids come into the world with remarkable imaginations, and an almost endless capacity for creativity. In various ways, both obvious and not so obvious, kids are taught to stifle their creativity.

This begins in little ways, when they are taught to color only inside the lines. Much learning involves replicating and duplicating exactly what it taught. Limited value gets placed upon creative activities in school, and instead exclusive emphasis is put on the hard “sciences.”

If you want creativity to prosper, you have to work this muscle.

3. If you want creative children, raise them in a creative environment.
As I have mentioned in other articles, you cannot escape what you model. If your kids grow up in an environment where you model creativity and using your imagination, they can’t help but become a part of this.

Like it or not, children emulate their parents. The more that you expose them to an environment where you are thinking out of the box…decorating out of the box….creating out of the box….you’ll help your kids to think out of the box and to act in ways that are not preprogrammed.

4. Expose kids to play that requires creative components.
Instead of exposure to passive entertainment, fill your home with toys and materials that require creativity. Make sure there are lots of legos, building blocks, and crayons and paper to draw on.

When it is time to decorate a room, invite your kids to be a part of this. When it is time to paint a wall, ask them to come up with a creative idea.

5. Engage kids in creative problem solving around the house.
As kids get older, invite them to creativity come up with solutions with you. When it’s time to plan a new garden, get the family involved in the garden plan.

When it’s time to redecorate a room, put all the furniture in the middle of the room and ask them to help come up with options. When their bicycle chain keeps hopping off its sprocket, rather than fixing it for them….invite them to come up with a solution that could permanently fix the problem.

The common denominator here is to ask. Ask your children for input. Ask them for a creative solution. Keep them engaged in a home environment where creativity is a constant part of the mutual problem solving that occurs.

6. Make sure that you notice moments of creativity.
Especially during the younger years, give energy to moments of your child’s creativity. Rather than ignoring them when they’re playing in creative ways, or working their imagination, spend a few moments noticing them doing these activities.

You must give energy to the activities that you value….if you want those characteristics to grow. In the case of creativity, you can do your part by making sure that you catch your kids…while they are being creative. Don’t wait until the project is over….catch them while it’s happening.

In this way, you invest your energy in what you really value. This will ensure that you use every ounce of your influence to nurture those creative juices and to keep that muscle strong.

Building Your Child's Self-Esteem

According to researchers, most children enter school with a good sense of self-esteem (at least as defined by psychologists) and yet leave high school with a poor sense of self-esteem. What happens in those years between starting school and finishing school?

If we are to define self-esteem as “having feelings of worth or value,” then people with adequate levels of self-esteem should display a sense of realistic confidence in their abilities and performance. People with low levels of self-esteem would be expected to display feelings of inadequacy, a fear of failure, a sense of being unworthy, and perhaps depression. It is estimated that 25-35% of children have Learning Disabilities. At least 5% have Attention Disorders. All too many times during the course of their academic careers these children are labeled by teachers (or parents) as being “lazy,” or “stupid.” Remarks of this type are typically interpreted by the child as, “You’re no good,” and the self-esteem levels drop.

At least 50% of children will experience the divorce of their parents prior to turning 18 years old. Most children, for whatever reasons too complicated to go into here, will tend to place at least a portion of the blame for the parent’s divorce on themselves. Since the parents are typically placed on a pedestal in the eyes of the child, the blame for the divorce cannot be placed on the parents and must be placed elsewhere, most commonly on themselves. This also significantly impacts children’s self-esteem levels.

There are other important challenges to maintaining reasonable self-esteem, such as merely being “average” in a world that worships only the good looking, the good athletes, and the well-to-do.

Can too much Self-Esteem be bad for you?

Let me say here and now that inappropriately high levels of self-esteem may be worse that low levels. Levels of self-esteem that are too high lead kids to believe that they are more important than anyone else, and that they should never be frustrated by work or challenges in life. It leads young people to believe that they should always have their way. Inflated levels of self-esteem ultimately discourages children and teens from learning how to work hard, and sometimesl leads into criminal behavior. Anti-social and criminal behavior is fueled by the criminal believing that his wants and needs are more important than the needs, wants, or rights of others.

Inflated levels of self-esteem also are directly at odds with the development of one’s spirituality and relationship with God. After all, who needs to develop a relationship with God when he believes that he is more important, or intelligent, or more powerful than God? People are cheated in every important aspect of their lives, emotionally, socially, and spiritually, when their sense of self-esteem is inflated.

So how can we instill appropriate levels of self-esteem in our children? Briefly, here are five key thoughts . . .

First, change the way that you look at this area of life from “self-esteem” to “self-confidence.” There is a difference as wide as the sea. To “esteem” someone, including one’s self, involves feelings of “reverence” or “awe” or “honor” or “glory.” Words have meaning. Let’s not get carried away with trying to make our kids feel good about themselves by starting to ascribe to them positions of honor normally reserved for Presidents and Kings, and perhaps for God. The majority of our society’s problems are caused by people thinking that they are more important than anyone else in the world. This is not something that we really want to encourage in our children, or in ourselves.

Instead we do want to encourage self-confidence. This attribute becomes especially powerful and beautiful when paired with the virtue of self-control. Raise your children to have these two character traits, and you will have wonderful and successful children.

My Children Will Be Perfect, Good, Happy, Confident and Successful Kids!

My Children Will Be Perfect, Good, Happy, Confident and Successful Kids!

I knew that being a parent would be difficult, but as a trained educational psychologist I foolishly expected to employ all my know-how and to be able to create perfect, well adjusted, confident children. Not the case, of course! Lashings of praise, love and encouragement and they still fear failure and lack confidence to some extent - but what might they have been like without it? They are though, happy, resilient, honest, thoughtful and decent kids - appreciating that at 12 years old they still have time to change - and I am proud of them (and indeed, myself)!

Obviously, one cannot completely protect one's offspring from the cruelties of today's world or shield them from spiteful or bullying peers, but one can help to build them up, strengthening and supporting as they take their first steps into independence.

Know your child

The main thing which has been driven home is that all we can do is 'the best with the raw material we have'! Kids are born different and need different approaches and levels of encouragement. My son responds very badly to negative reinforcement - he rebels and grows angry, and if he is already in trouble he feels he has nothing to lose and will go for broke - but telling him he has been doing really well and that I need him to be helpful and 'my good boy' makes him bend over backwards to do what I ask and to please. He physically grows in stature and self-esteem. My daughter would not fall for that, but complies readily with a calm rebuke.

Treat each child with respect

Your child is a human being with rights, and valid opinions and views. Encourage and foster rather than fight independence. Communicate, listen and show respect for their wishes (have a set time each day where you have quality time and really talk). Don't lash out in anger - that is giving the message that it is OK to be abusive - where possible, ignore unwanted or volatile behaviour, walk away and later address sticking points again when both calm. A good boss works with emotional intelligence and demonstrates empathy; parenting is the same. Be prepared to apologise to the child if you get it wrong.

Building Self-esteem In Your Child

One of the best lessons that parents can teach their children is that you don't need to be the same as everyone else in order to fit in. Have you seen many jigsaws where all the pieces were the same shape and size? It's the diversity of the human race that adds to our unique beauty and individuality. It's what makes us special and that is the message that we need to communicate to our children.

Feeling Different Everyone is different, but problems can arise when a child feels that everyone else shares a common trait that they don't. The larger child, for instance, can feel isolated because they perceive everyone else as slim and feel that they are less valid as a person because they are made to feel uncomfortable about their size, often by insensitive taunts from other children who make unkind references to their weight as though it is something of which to be ashamed. When my eldest son was 14, he gained a lot of weight and I recall how distraught he was when my partner's inconsiderate and callous sons referred to him as "Lard" rather than his real name of Kristian.

Feeling different can batter some children's self-esteem, whereas others view it positively and build on their individuality to become great achievers. A lot depends on the child's individual personality, but there are techniques that every parent can employ to help nourish and elevate a child's self-esteem and confidence.

Building Self-Esteem Begins at Birth Touch is the first sense to develop and this is the first way that infants begin to learn about the world around them. One of the best ways to bond with your baby and begin the self-esteem building process is through infant massage, but this is also a time to interact verbally with your baby.

Emma Miller, D.Div, Child and Family Specialist and creator of the Gentle Touch® Program advises asking your baby for permission before touching her. Whilst a parent may feel that it is his or her right to touch a baby of their own, they are not considering the wishes of the baby. Emma says, "Remembering that infants are highly interactive from the beginning is an important part of not taking them for granted." When you ask your baby for permission to touch her, it encourages and teachers her to respond and makes her feel important and needed. "This is the foundation for healthy self-esteem and the ability to be honest with herself and her feelings," says Emma.

In general, the higher a child's self-esteem, the more competent they are at dealing with the unpleasant situations that life deals and that includes other people's attitudes towards them. An overweight or disabled child, for example, will be more capable of dealing with cruel taunts from unkind children and will still be able to maintain a sense of self-worth, irrespective of any insensitive jibes that are thrown at them. The higher a child's self-esteem before adolescence, the more adept they will be at coping with negative peer pressure.

Self-Esteem and The Larger Child Despite the numerous "big is beautiful" campaigns, promoting the interests of the larger person, the media continues to glamorise thinness and represent larger people as objects of ridicule. Unfortunately, children are very much influenced by what they see and hear, not only on the TV and in magazines, but also from the mouths of adults, including their parents. If a child hears their parents referring to someone's size in an unkind way, they grow up believing that being fat is socially unacceptable. How sad it is, therefore, if such children end up struggling with their own weight or don't conform to the "rake thin" ideal. The way is simply being paved for potential eating disorders, self-image problems and low self-esteem.

In fact, many children will go through periods where they seem to be growing outwards rather than upwards and yet many of these may end up as slim, strapping six footers. However, the emotional scars that were formed as tubby youngsters may remain with them for life. In fact, the body needs fat to survive and it is as harmful, if not more, to be underweight than it is to be overweight.

There are many larger children who are popular and outgoing individuals who have recognised that personality, talent and likeability isn't shaped by size. Acceptance builds self-esteem and when parents accept their children, they learn to accept themselves and in turn will be accepted by others. If a parent makes cruel references to a child's size, he may become withdrawn, insecure and anxious and lack the confidence to make friends. After all, if a child cannot accept himself because his parents object to his size, how can he expect anyone else to accept him?

Being overweight is not a crime, but if you feel that your child has a serious weight problem and are concerned about his or her health, there are steps that you can take to help the situation without forcing the child into uncomfortable eating or exercise regimes. Substituting high-fat foods for lower-fat options without changing drastically changing the diet can significantly reduce your child's calorie intake. Encouraging your child to be more active by engaging in fun activities as a family, rather than a competitive team sport, will not only boost his metabolism and improve his fitness levels, but may interest him in new pursuits where he may feel a sense of achievement, which in turn boosts self-esteem.

Even though your child may not initially feel confident enough to throw a cool reply in the direction of a taunter, it can often be extremely effective. An example of such a riposte could be:

"Yes, I might not be skinny, but at least I have a good heart and I don't judge other people by the way they look. You, for instance, have got big ears and yet I'm sure that doesn't change the person that you are inside, nor make you any more sensitive to other people's feelings."

Self-Esteem and Ethnic Minorities
It has always seemed bizarre to me why someone should be made to feel different or is ostracised simply because they have a higher level of pigment in their skin, or were born into a different religion. Nevertheless, racial bullying exists and, as with other types of abuse, it can have a devastating effect on a child's self-esteem. However, it is important for the child to understand that any difference in any culture can be the basis of prejudice. A white child may be teased by other white children because he wears glasses, or is perceived to be stupid, or has elderly parents, divorced parents or does not live up to the ideal of a particular group at a particular time.

The way in which we often try to feel good about ourselves is by focusing on comparisons with our peer group. If we possess a quality or skill that we feel is good, then we prefer to think that it is unique or that there are not many others with the same feature or talent. However, if we possess a quality that we do not feel is a positive attribute, then we prefer it if we know that there are many others like us. Therefore, if a child feels that having a different colour skin to the rest of his friends is not an advantage, then he or she is more likely to be negatively affected by any taunts that are directly related to his race.

If your child is upset by unkind taunts about her colour, you could point out that if being coloured is so unappealing, then why do so many white people fry their bodies in the sun every summer in pursuit of darker-coloured skin? Teach her to be proud of who she is, her uniqueness as a person and her personal talents. Everybody has them.

Irrespective of any prejudices that parents might hold, it is important not to pass these onto their children. Teaching them tolerance and conflict resolution skills and exposing them to cultural diversity from an early age, will help them to deal with prejudices when they are older.

Self-Esteem and The Disabled Child
There is a fine line between protecting and stifling. If a child is born with, or develops a disability, it is extremely important for the parents not to over-protect the child, which can make the child feel that she is different in a negative way. A Spina Bifida sufferer I know, for example, told me about the isolation that she felt as a result of her parents' overprotectiveness. She said, "Although I was an outgoing person and had no problems making friends, my parents never allowed me to join them on outings or social events because they were afraid of something happening to me. As a result, my friends eventually stopped inviting me to take part in group activities and that was a dreadful blow to my self-esteem. Personally, I didn't view myself as any different to say, someone who was short-sighted or someone with eczema. Nobody's perfect, so who's to say that my disability puts me at more of a disadvantage to anyone else? I also think that my parents thought I would be a burden on the others and they didn't feel it was right to put the responsibility for my welfare in their hands. Being made to feel that you are a burden on others totally saps your confidence and feelings of self-worth."

Parents can boost a disabled child's esteem enormously by helping them to lead as normal a life as possible and to allow them to make their own choices, difficult as this might be. They should also not ignore bad behaviour or make excuses for a child if she has acted in an unacceptable way. Respect and courtesy is something that should be exercised by everyone, irrespective of their circumstances, even disability.

Discipline Builds Self-Esteem
An undisciplined child will inevitably grow up with poor self-esteem. He will encounter rules and regulations outside of the home environment and will find it very difficult to conform if his parents have not regulated his behaviour. The undisciplined child will probably have no respect for his parents, let alone anyone else and particularly not those in positions of authority. As a result he will often find himself in trouble and the resultant chastisement will lower his self-esteem further.

Parents who allow their children to do as they please and who don't reprimand them for bad behaviour are not being kind. On the contrary, they are mapping out a life of difficulty for their offspring, with the likelihood that the child will encounter disapproval wherever he goes because of his inability to respect, nor understand, rules and limits.

Naturally, discipline has to be adapted according to the age of the child. A two-year-old, for example, cannot be disciplined in the same manner as a teenager because their powers of understanding are vastly different. A toddler will only just be grasping the concept of right and wrong, whereas a teenager should (in theory) have a clear understanding of what is and isn't acceptable behaviour.

Praise and Self-Esteem
Continual praise builds self-esteem, right? Not exactly, no. Whilst it is important to let children know that they are appreciated by recognising effort and achievement, overpraising a child for everything that they do can end up becoming meaningless. They may learn to stop trying because they know that their parents think that everything they do is wonderful, which is laying the foundations for eventual failure. They may become dependent on constant praise for motivation and may end up not achieving anything in life as a result. Parents should encourage their children to capitalise on their individual strengths, help them to learn new skills, give praise where praise is due and teach them to accept their weaknesses without viewing them as failings.

Effort and achievement should be encouraged, but without pressuring the child to do well. Every child's personal best is different and each child should be praised according to the effort that they have put in. A child who comes last in a school sports' day race, but who has given their best, deserves as much praise as the natural born athlete who wins the race. It is also important to teach your child that coming last does not mean failure and that it's perfectly normal to make mistakes. The child who believes that is more like to have high self-esteem than the child whose parents have taught him that it is wrong to fail, or that winning is most important. Parents whose expectations of their children are too high will not encourage healthy self-esteem.

General Guidelines For Building a Child's Self-Esteem

Improve your own self-esteem. Parents with low self-esteem may pass their insecurities onto their children.

Build on your child's positive aspects and talents, rather than focusing on what they can't do. Constant criticism destroys self-esteem. We can't all excel at the same tasks, but it is important to praise a child if you know that he or she has given their best effort.

Listen to your child. Their interests and worries may seem trivial to you, in the same way that yours may seem inconsequential to them, but listening and understanding is one of the most important self-esteem building exercises you can employ. If a child is ignored, he may act badly to attract attention to himself, or else may become withdrawn, believing that he is not important enough for anyone to take notice of him.

Asking for a child's opinion on an issue makes them feel valued and important, rather than taking the attitude of, "You're only a child, what do you know?" Children are far more perceptive than we give them credit for.

Teach your child to respect others' differences and weaknesses and not to make harsh judgements.

Help your child to plan and set goals, however small. Achieving a goal is a positive event, which helps to build self-esteem and also shows to a child that they have some sort of control in their lives.

When your child is being reprimanded for bad behaviour, it is important to explain why you feel that their actions are unacceptable and to make them feel respected, even when they are being corrected.

Tell your child that you love him or her on a regular basis.

Developing Your Child's Self-Esteem

Healthy self-esteem is a child's armor against the challenges of the world. Kids who feel good about themselves seem to have an easier time handling conflicts and resisting negative pressures. They tend to smile more readily and enjoy life. These kids are realistic and generally optimistic.

In contrast, kids with low self-esteem can find challenges to be sources of major anxiety and frustration. Those who think poorly of themselves have a hard time finding solutions to problems. If given to self-critical thoughts such as "I'm no good" or "I can't do anything right," they may become passive, withdrawn, or depressed. Faced with a new challenge, their immediate response is "I can't."

Here's how you can play important role in promoting healthy self-esteem in your child.

What Is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is the collection of beliefs or feelings we have about ourselves, our "self-perceptions." How we define ourselves influences our motivations, attitudes, and behaviors and affects our emotional adjustment.

Patterns of self-esteem start very early in life. For example, a toddler who reaches a milestone experiences a sense of accomplishment that bolsters self-esteem. Learning to roll over after dozens of unsuccessful attempts teaches a baby a "can-do" attitude.

The concept of success following persistence starts early. As kids try, fail, try again, fail again, and then finally succeed, they develop ideas about their own capabilities. At the same time, they're creating a self-concept based on interactions with other people. This is why parental involvement is key to helping kids form accurate, healthy self-perceptions.

Self-esteem also can be defined as feelings of capability combined with feelings of being loved. A child who is happy with an achievement but does not feel loved may eventually experience low self-esteem. Likewise, a child who feels loved but is hesitant about his or her own abilities can also end up with low self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem comes when the right balance is reached.

Signs of Unhealthy and Healthy Self-Esteem

Self-esteem fluctuates as kids grow. It's frequently changed and fine-tuned, because it is affected by a child's experiences and new perceptions. So it helps to be aware of the signs of both healthy and unhealthy self-esteem.

Kids with low self-esteem may not want to try new things, and may frequently speak negatively about themselves: "I'm stupid," "I'll never learn how to do this," or "What's the point? Nobody cares about me anyway." They may exhibit a low tolerance for frustration, giving up easily or waiting for somebody else to take over. They tend to be overly critical of and easily disappointed in themselves. Kids with low self-esteem see temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions, and a sense of pessimism predominates.

Kids with healthy self-esteem tend to enjoy interacting with others. They're comfortable in social settings and enjoys group activities as well as independent pursuits. When challenges arise, they can work toward finding solutions and voice discontent without belittling themselves or others. For example, rather than saying, "I'm an idiot," a child with healthy self-esteem says, "I don't understand this." They know their strengths and weaknesses, and accept them. A sense of optimism prevails.

How Parents Can Help

How can a parent help to foster healthy self-esteem in a child? These tips can make a big difference:

• Watch what you say. Kids are very sensitive to parents' words. Remember to praise your child not only for a job well done, but also for effort. But be truthful. For example, if your child doesn't make the soccer team, avoid saying something like, "Well, next time you'll work harder and make it." Instead, try "Well, you didn't make the team, but I'm really proud of the effort you put into it." Reward effort and completion instead of outcome.
• Be a positive role model. If you're excessively harsh on yourself, pessimistic, or unrealistic about your abilities and limitations, your child may eventually mirror you. Nurture your own self-esteem, and your child will have a great role model.
• Identify and redirect your child's inaccurate beliefs. It's important for parents to identify kids' irrational beliefs about themselves, whether they're about perfection, attractiveness, ability, or anything else. Helping kids set more accurate standards and be more realistic in evaluating themselves will help them have a healthy self-concept. Inaccurate perceptions of self can take root and become reality to kids. For example, a child who does very well in school but struggles with math may say, "I can't do math. I'm a bad student." Not only is this a false generalization, it's also a belief that will set the child up for failure. Encourage kids to see a situation in its true light. A helpful response might be: "You are a good student. You do great in school. Math is just a subject that you need to spend more time on. We'll work on it together."
• Be spontaneous and affectionate. Your love will go a long way to boost your child's self-esteem. Give hugs and tell kids you're proud of them. Pop a note in your child's lunchbox that reads, "I think you're terrific!" Give praise frequently and honestly, without overdoing it. Kids can tell whether something comes from the heart.
• Give positive, accurate feedback. Comments like "You always work yourself up into such a frenzy!" will make kids feel like they have no control over their outbursts. A better statement is, "You were really mad at your brother. But I appreciate that you didn't yell at him or hit him." This acknowledges a child's feelings, rewards the choice made, and encourages the child to make the right choice again next time.
• Create a safe, loving home environment. Kids who don't feel safe or are abused at home will suffer immensely from low self-esteem. A child who is exposed to parents who fight and argue repeatedly may become depressed and withdrawn. Also watch for signs of abuse by others, problems in school, trouble with peers, and other factors that may affect kids' self-esteem. Deal with these issues sensitively but swiftly. And always remember to respect your kids.
• Help kids become involved in constructive experiences. Activities that encourage cooperation rather than competition are especially helpful in fostering self-esteem. For example, mentoring programs in which an older child helps a younger one learn to read can do wonders for both kids.

Finding Professional Help

If you suspect your child has low self-esteem, consider professional help. Family and child counselors can work to uncover underlying issues that prevent a child from feeling good about himself or herself.

Therapy can help kids learn to view themselves and the world positively. When kids see themselves in a more realistic light, they can accept who they truly are.

With a little help, every child can develop healthy self-esteem for a happier, more fulfilling life.

Reviewed by: David V. Sheslow, PhD
Date reviewed: November 2008

Signs of Unhealthy and Healthy Self-Esteem

Self-esteem fluctuates as kids grow. It's frequently changed and fine-tuned, because it is affected by a child's experiences and new perceptions. So it helps to be aware of the signs of both healthy and unhealthy self-esteem.

Kids with low self-esteem may not want to try new things, and may frequently speak negatively about themselves: "I'm stupid," "I'll never learn how to do this," or "What's the point? Nobody cares about me anyway." They may exhibit a low tolerance for frustration, giving up easily or waiting for somebody else to take over. They tend to be overly critical of and easily disappointed in themselves. Kids with low self-esteem see temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions, and a sense of pessimism predominates.

Kids with healthy self-esteem tend to enjoy interacting with others. They're comfortable in social settings and enjoys group activities as well as independent pursuits. When challenges arise, they can work toward finding solutions and voice discontent without belittling themselves or others. For example, rather than saying, "I'm an idiot," a child with healthy self-esteem says, "I don't understand this." They know their strengths and weaknesses, and accept them. A sense of optimism prevails.

How Parents Can Help

How can a parent help to foster healthy self-esteem in a child? These tips can make a big difference:

• Watch what you say. Kids are very sensitive to parents' words. Remember to praise your child not only for a job well done, but also for effort. But be truthful. For example, if your child doesn't make the soccer team, avoid saying something like, "Well, next time you'll work harder and make it." Instead, try "Well, you didn't make the team, but I'm really proud of the effort you put into it." Reward effort and completion instead of outcome.
• Be a positive role model. If you're excessively harsh on yourself, pessimistic, or unrealistic about your abilities and limitations, your child may eventually mirror you. Nurture your own self-esteem, and your child will have a great role model.
• Identify and redirect your child's inaccurate beliefs. It's important for parents to identify kids' irrational beliefs about themselves, whether they're about perfection, attractiveness, ability, or anything else. Helping kids set more accurate standards and be more realistic in evaluating themselves will help them have a healthy self-concept. Inaccurate perceptions of self can take root and become reality to kids. For example, a child who does very well in school but struggles with math may say, "I can't do math. I'm a bad student." Not only is this a false generalization, it's also a belief that will set the child up for failure. Encourage kids to see a situation in its true light. A helpful response might be: "You are a good student. You do great in school. Math is just a subject that you need to spend more time on. We'll work on it together."
• Be spontaneous and affectionate. Your love will go a long way to boost your child's self-esteem. Give hugs and tell kids you're proud of them. Pop a note in your child's lunchbox that reads, "I think you're terrific!" Give praise frequently and honestly, without overdoing it. Kids can tell whether something comes from the heart.
• Give positive, accurate feedback. Comments like "You always work yourself up into such a frenzy!" will make kids feel like they have no control over their outbursts. A better statement is, "You were really mad at your brother. But I appreciate that you didn't yell at him or hit him." This acknowledges a child's feelings, rewards the choice made, and encourages the child to make the right choice again next time.
• Create a safe, loving home environment. Kids who don't feel safe or are abused at home will suffer immensely from low self-esteem. A child who is exposed to parents who fight and argue repeatedly may become depressed and withdrawn. Also watch for signs of abuse by others, problems in school, trouble with peers, and other factors that may affect kids' self-esteem. Deal with these issues sensitively but swiftly. And always remember to respect your kids.
• Help kids become involved in constructive experiences. Activities that encourage cooperation rather than competition are especially helpful in fostering self-esteem. For example, mentoring programs in which an older child helps a younger one learn to read can do wonders for both kids.

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Finding Professional Help

If you suspect your child has low self-esteem, consider professional help. Family and child counselors can work to uncover underlying issues that prevent a child from feeling good about himself or herself.

Therapy can help kids learn to view themselves and the world positively. When kids see themselves in a more realistic light, they can accept who they truly are.

With a little help, every child can develop healthy self-esteem for a happier, more fulfilling life.

Reviewed by: David V. Sheslow, PhD
Date reviewed: November 2008

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Motivating Kids to Perform Better: Some Useful Tips

Motivating your kids is perhaps one of the most difficult tasks in parenting. Every kid has a different motivation level and all kids cannot be motivated in a similar manner. Motivating your kids is also a process of enhancing personal growth and assimilation of a positive character. It is very tedious to know what exactly motivates your kid. The first step towards motivating your kid to achieve good things in life is to know and understand his or her mind. To know the mindset, you may also need to learn to listen to your kid, what he or she says and comprehends, and how they work and act. You will also need to learn how to spend quality time with your kids to know their likes, preferences and dislikes. In essence, as a parent, you will need to get closer to your kids and learn their behavior and mannerisms. Once you know what motivates your kid to perform their own duties and responsibilities, then you can start devising better and individualized methods and ways to motivate them.

If you are finding it very difficult to motivate your kids, you can try the following tips and suggestions to rectify the situation:

Finding out the nature of interest: Your kid may have some excellent talents in some areas of activities. Further, he or she may also show an inclination to perform better in those activities. For example, if your kid loves repairing cars, get him or her set of tools and utilities that can help in repairing mechanical objects. Buy a set of dye cast car models so that she or he can start working on them. If your kid loves music, get some simple and basic musical instruments, and think of sending your kid to a music class. You may like to put lot of efforts to find out the area of activity where your kid is likely to succeed.

Forward new ideas and areas of activities: Most kids will have a hidden passion or talent to do or act on something that could be still unidentified and unrecognized. A child whose real passion is music or arts; that has never had an opportunity to find and explore it will fail to pursue that particular passion. You will need to find and detect the areas where your kid is more likely to succeed and prosper.

Setting goals: Small kids cannot simply finish a large task that needs a lot of work. The assigned task could be simple and straightforward, but your kid may not like to finish that task because of various causes and reasons. The simple thing to do here is to split the task into many sub tasks and explain your kid the importance of finishing each one of them. Assign each of these tasks as separate goals and fix a small reward for finishing each of these goals.

Managing time: Most of the kids are very poor or average in managing their time. They can learn and understand very quickly, but are quite terrible in managing tasks and goals. In fact, they may get scared and overwhelmed to see the sheer amount of allotted work. Teach your kids how to manage their time and utilize the energy to perform tasks within the allotted time.

Praise sincere efforts: Your kid may fail from time to time to connect his or her personal effort to achieve some goals and objectives. As a parent, you may like to praise your kid whenever she or she finishes some simple tasks. You will need to use encouraging words and sentences to praise kids, so that they are ready to achieve bigger things in life.

Help your kid to have a control on what they do or perform: Kids always see and perceive success or achievement as something that is beyond their level of control. Due to repeated failures, they may also feel that putting efforts is pointless and futile. You will need to help your kid in take an active control of his or her life, so that he or she will be successful in achieving both personal and professional success.

Helping kid develop positive attitude about school: Education is always better and your kids need to perform well in their classes. Negative feelings can harm your kid and it may become a big obstacle in the future. Helping your kid to develop a positive attitude about the school will not only help in get connected to the classes, it will also assist in mingling with other kids and teachers.

Your kids are a big challenge to you! It is so tough and difficult to manage their intellect and talents. Motivation could be the biggest ever problem that you as a parent, may face in your life. Motivating your kids is actually a long drawn process that needs tremendous levels of dedication and perseverance.

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Build your child's self-esteem

When a baby finds that her signals are validated and responded to appropriately - that troubles are soothed and pleasure enhanced - she begins to sense that her feelings, expressions, of her very being, are of value and important. A baby learns that she counts for something. This is the foundation of the development of self-esteem - a combination of who you are, how you feel about yourself, and what you think about your future potential.

Self-esteem takes root or withers depending on how you handle your child's signals of fun - interest and enjoyment - and validating and attending to the signals for help - distress, anger, fear, shame, disgust, and dismal.

As parents you are the most important people in your baby's world. You provide your child with his first definitions of himself. You tell him through your every word, gesture, and action just how important he is and how he is perceived by the outside world.

Over the coming months and years, as your child matures and becomes an adult, his self-esteem will become a more complex web of interlocking emotions and thoughts about himself and about how he sees and is seen by others. It's common for growing children and as well as adults to fluctuate between episodes of high and low self-esteem over the course of months or years. However, a solid foundation of self-esteem - built by appropriate responses to a child's signals and nurtured throughout childhood - will help most people maintain a basically optimistic view of their lives and their future over the course of life's ups and downs.

Your goal now, with your baby, is to help him develop a sense of himself that is reasonably solid and stable. As he grows, that will allow him to perceive his talents and abilities accurately, respond to life with flexibility, and look at his goals and capacities realistically.

Of course, the real key is loving the very essence of your child-loving and valuing the child for himself or herself, who he or she is. But this is often easier said than done-especially if the parents have not been loved and valued. Yet, understanding the nine signals can be useful here too: Much of the child's essence is wrapped up in her interests and enjoyments; and understanding and attending to the negative signals can help prevent the cycles of frustration, hurt, and anger which can so contaminate the parent-child relationship and erode the child's internal world.

The Foundation of Self-Esteem

From the first days of your baby's life, you can lay the foundation for self-esteem by responding appropriately to your child's signals for help (distress, anger, etc.) and fun (interest and enjoyment).

Many experts believe that another important building block of self-esteem involves a child's experience of competence. Competence is initially achieved as a result of the brain's capacity to create order out of the disorder of all the incoming stimuli. An infant's inherent ability to develop competence lays the foundation for later, more sophisticated mastery of interaction with the world and people, which in turn may produce a sense of self-esteem. One part of this development, as a child grows, is learning that he is able to exert control over external events. Another, as he interacts with his environment, is learning how to adapt in a healthy way to the external world's social requirements and expectations.

How to Help Your Child Build Self-Esteem

Focusing Appropriate Attention on the Child -
Babies thrive when they feel they are of genuine interest to you and are the center of your universe. They use their nine signals to express their entire range of emotions. When a baby cries, or fusses, or coos, she expects you to react with as much enthusiasm or distress as she does about what is happening to her.

What parents sometimes forget is that to babies those reactions of distress are proportional to the situation. Not being able to get a hold of a ball that rolled into a corner is terrible! And your baby wants you to pay attention to him when he announces it in no uncertain terms. He finds himself incapable of righting the situation himself-no matter what he does, he'll never be able to reach the ball. Talk about frustration! So he asks for your help in the only way he can-by making a scene. If that doesn't elicit your sympathy and attention, if you don't respond and help your baby out of his distress, he will begin to think that his problems don't really matter, how he feels doesn't count. Instead, if you take the opportunity to pay attention, validating and confirming his feelings and perceptions, you will help your child become confident.

Provide Reward and Praise -
Along with paying attention, reward and praise from you are essential to child's self-esteem. You must never forget how much your child wants to be like you and to be liked by you. Kids need to hear that you approve of them and think they are wonderful. They long to see the "gleam in your eye" that signals love and approval. You can't assume they know how you feel. They don't. They need to be told, over and over and over. In the long run, reward and praise tend to be better and healthier motivators than fear and shame. Of course, whenever you're dealing with behavior, it is also important to explain to the child the pros and cons, the reasons and rationales, for whatever issue is at stake.

Offer Protection -
If a child perceives the world as threatening or dangerous, it is almost impossible for her to feel brave and strong, to know that she can make her way through it successfully. But when you respond to your child's negative signals of distress and anger by allowing expression of the signals and then removing the triggers, you have begun to give her the tools to deal with the world. When it comes to feeling confident, nothing helps a helpless baby like knowing she can depend on you to shield her from danger and distress.

How Self-Esteem is Damaged

Some parents inadvertently diminish their children's self-esteem by interfering with or belittling their signals for interest and enjoyment. This triggers the automatic, built-in response of shame, and shame erodes self-esteem.

In my clinical practice, I frequently work with families in which both the parents and children have a variety of troubles related to a poor sense of self and self-esteem. The adults in these families often don't understand how feelings and emotions work. The family ends up in a toxic situation because there is a mismatch between the child's expression of emotional needs and the parent's ability to respond appropriately. Often, then, the children fail to develop a solid sense of self-who they are, what they like and don't like, a confidence in their perceptions and feelings, and so on. The resulting tension that develops between parent and child can contribute to the erosion of his self-esteem. The child may become angry, defensive, intolerant, and inflexible, or withdrawn, self-destructive, envious, and fearful. In fact, a whole variety of the less pleasing personality traits can be directly attributed to a person's lack of belief in his own essential worth. Think bully. Think timid. Think depressed, depleted, and drained. These different qualities result, in part, from a lack of self-esteem.

The results of these kinds of parenting missteps can be heartbreaking. But the results of positive parenting are tremendous. You and your child are able to enjoy one another's company, to delight in the deepening of your friendship. You gain access to the delightfully quirky way the world looks to a child. You learn as your baby learns. You gain confidence in your parenting skills; your self-esteem increases. Over time, you become ever more able to allow your child to grow into a unique, self-confident being. And because she has a solid sense of self, she will become capable of forming fulfilling relationships and of maintaining a healthy autonomy.

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Mental Focusing Techniques - Basics

Does this always happen to your children? Do you find that your children are losing focus and concentration while they are studying in their classrooms? On the extreme side, did your children's classroom teachers call you to discuss about their performance in classroom? Did you find that your children failed to score top grades just because they lost their mental focus and concentration? If these undesirable events are happening to your children, then you may need to take immediate action to help your children regain their mental focus and concentration.

In fact, most children are intelligent and smart. They are capable of getting good grades and better marks in their classrooms. However, some obvious reasons or causes make them to lose their mental focus and concentration. In many circumstances, they may just develop boredom with the regular-sounding teaching materials and lessons. In fact, almost all children who find it difficult to concentrate on their lessons in the classrooms are always victims of countless numbers of distractions. In essence, distractions can easily reduce children's concentration and mental focus.

Distraction can arise because of a heavy classroom schedule; classrooms are always busy and hectic. Most children must study at least three or four subject everyday and carry out finishing their assigned homework too. The assigned time is very limited while the energy and effort required to finish the homework is too much to bear. Distractions in the classroom and home can be too much for any children as well. It is almost difficult for your children to focus on their lessons in an effective manner.

Another reason for loosing focus could be a lack of motivation or having very little of it. Lack of motivation also leads to lack of clear and lucid goals. Fuzziness in developing motivation can also result in loss of mental focus. Some children develop invisible mental blocks that eventually hinder them in developing mental focus. Mental blocks can come in many forms and patterns. However, the most important one is thinking about self-failure.

To counter distractions that happen around your children can be very difficult. The only way you make your children avoid distractions is to develop mental focus and concentration. You will need to teach mental focus techniques to your children to focus better on their classroom studies. Mental focusing is probably the only solution that can help your children overcome distortions and develop their character. Improving mental focus and concentration can pay your children rich dividends. Your children can stay focused on those things that rally interest them.

To help improve your children develop mental focus and concentration, you will need to pick up those activities that actually interest them. Children show active interest when they work on their preferred activities. Just watch your children how they work on some activities with all their dedication and concentration.

Tip: Developing focus is an activity itself. To achieve that, your children should be active in those activities that actually help them develop focus. For example, playing chess is one of the most beneficial activities that can help your children improve mental focus and dedication.

Focus and concentration are necessary to achieve many things in life. Some of these things are:

• Mental focus is necessary to concentrate on classroom teaching and comprehend the essence of lessons

• Mental focus lays a strong foundation to achieve better academic performance in the classroom

• Mental focus is a big necessity when it comes to understand life and its essence

• Mental focus provides an opportunity to reach the desired success level in life.

Three important issues can help you improve concentration in your children. These three issues are as follows:

1. Observe your child: Observe to see what activities your children like to do and how they get themselves involved

2. Offer a number of choices: Let your children do the activities that they like to do or enjoy doing it.

3. Ask your children to repeat: When your children finish doing a task, you can ask them to repeat the same task again.

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Stimulating Your Child's Creativity

According to the experts, it is possible to encourage or inhibit the development and expression of creativity in young children. Most theories of child development view young children as highly creative, with a natural tendency to fantasize, experiment, and explore their physical and conceptual environment. However this high level of creativity is not necessarily maintained throughout childhood and into adulthood. The level of creativity declines when they start the kindergarten and peaks again when they reach puberty.

Creativity is essentially a form of problem solving. But it is a special type of problem solving--one that involves problems for which there are no easy answers: that is, problems for which popular or conventional responses do not work. Creativity involves adaptability and flexibility of thought. These are the same types of skills that numerous reports on education have suggested are critical for students.

For a proper understanding of children's creativity, one must distinguish creativity from intelligence and talent. Researcher has argued that intelligence and creativity are independent of each other, and a highly creative child may or may not be highly intelligent. Creativity goes beyond possession and use of artistic or musical talent. In this context, talent refers to the possession of a high degree of technical skill in a specialized area. Thus an artist may have wonderful technical skills, but may not succeed in evoking the emotional response that makes the viewer feel that a painting, for example, is unique. It is important to keep in mind that creativity is evidenced not only in music, art, or writing, but also throughout the curriculum, in science, social studies and other areas.

Is your child creative? Creativity can be assessed informally by parents or teachers, or formally by tests and the experts. One of the more common tests is "alternative uses" test, whereby the test subject is asked to think of as many uses as possible for a common object. For example, when we ask four-year-olds to tell us "all the things they can think of that are red," we find that children not only list wagons, apples and cardinals, but also chicken pox and cold hands. These tests assess divergent thinking and are usually scored in relation to both the quantity and the quality of the answers. Children's responses may be either popular or original, with the latter considered evidence of creative potential.

For young children, the focus of creativity should remain on process, i.e. the "generation of ideas". Adult acceptance of multiple ideas in a non-evaluative atmosphere will help children generate more ideas.

How can adults encourage creativity?

* Provide an environment that allows the child to explore and play without undue restraints. The atmosphere should reflect the adults' encouragement and acceptance of mistake, risk-taking, innovation, and uniqueness, along with amount of mess noise.

* Choice of materials. Without spending great amount of money, materials like paper goods of all kinds; writing and drawing tools; materials for constructions and collages, such as buttons, stones, shells, beads, and seeds; and sculpting materials, such as play dough, goop, clay, and shaving cream can be used. Children use these materials most productively and imaginatively when they themselves have help select, organize, sort and arrange them.

* Accept unusual ideas from children by suspending judgment of children's divergent problem solving. Respect their efforts and let them know that you have confidence in their ability to do well. Let the child have both freedom and responsibility to deal with the consequences of their thinking.

* Use creative problem solving in all parts of the curriculum. Use the problems that naturally occur in everyday life. Encourage the child to experiment with the novel and unusual. Listen to the child's questions and comments about his or her observations. Clarify what the child has observed by repeating what you have heard and ask further questions about the experience. New questions and observations may emerge from this process of exploration together

* Creativity does not follow the clock. Children need extended, unhurried time to explore and do their best work. Allow time for the children to explore all possibilities, moving from popular to more original ideas.

* Children find it hard to be creative without any concrete inspiration. Instead, they prefer to draw on the direct evidence of their senses or memories. These memories can become more vivid and accessible through the adults' provocations and preparations. For example, children can be encouraged to represent their knowledge and ideas before and after they have watched an absorbing show, taken a field trip, or observed and discussed an interesting plant or animal they saw in the park.

* Expose your child to a diversity of cultures, experiences, people, and ways of thinking. Let them see that there are different ways to think about a problem. Encourage children to try new experiences within their age level abilities and expectations.

* Emphasize process rather than product. Relax and enjoy the creative process with your child. Children who are constantly directed to conform to expected outcomes lose the confidence and spontaneity essential for the development of creative thinking

* Beware of barriers to creativity. Rewards- when people do not expect a reward, they are more creative and enjoy the process more. Expected external evaluation- Knowing beforehand that a piece of art is going to be graded can lead to a decrease in creativity. Peer pressure - There is some evidence that pressure to conform can lead to temporary decreases in creativity. Surveillance - Being observed by others while engaged in a creative process can undermine creativity.

Do you need special toys to stimulate creativity? The experts say no, there are many easy tasks you and your child can do together to promote creativity.

1. Use creative questioning. One way to help children to think more creatively is to ask them how they would change things to make them better. (What would taste better if it were sweeter? What would be more fun if it were faster or slower? What would be happier if it were smaller or bigger? What would be more interesting if it went backwards?)

2. Ask, "What would happen if?" (What would happen if all the cars were gone? What would happen if everyone wore the same clothes? What would happen if no one cleaned the house?)

3. Ask "in-how-many-different-ways" questions? (How many different ways can a button be used? How many different ways can a string be used?)

4. Use creative play. Activities such as "follow the leader" encourage a child to think of creative movement and experience the reward of others following their example. Use simple materials (blocks, mud, sand, clay, water) that the child can build and design using their own skills.

5. Use a continuing story concept. Someone starts the story and then each person adds a part. Read a story and act it out. Use puppets to act out a plot.

6. Use props to create new ideas. (Animal cracker game - child chooses one cracker; looks at it; then eats it. Then the child becomes that animal for 1-2 minutes. Use creative movement to act out how the animal acts and moves.)

7. Use role playing (family happenings, simulation games, school situations) to help children see the viewpoints of others and to explore their feelings. Have children describe the people that they see in pictures as to how they might feel or think.

Credits to Hon Jing Ying

Problems Encountered by Gifted Children

Many people think that because gifted kids are smart, they won't have any problems. They think they "have it made." However, gifted children can have plenty of problems from perfectionism to underachievement. Not all gifted children excel in school. The reasons vary, but a common cause is the lack of intellectual stimulation. Look at Stephanie Tolan's "Is It a Cheetah?" to understand how a child can be gifted yet not be recognized in school. Plenty of famous gifted people were not recognized as gifted in their youth. Look at the list of famous people whose giftedness was missed.

Here's a list of some of the problems they can encounter.

1) Perfectionism can lead to fear of failure, in turn causing a gifted child to avoid failure by refusing to even try something (including doing a homework assignment!)


2) Keen observation, imagination, and ability to see beyond the obvious can cause a gifted child to appear shy, holding back in new situations in order to consider all the implications.


3) May require full details before answering questions or offering help, once again making a gifted child appear socially shy.


4) Intense sensitivity can cause gifted children to take criticism, or even general anger, very personally. Childhood slights do not roll off their backs.


5) Sensitivity and well-developed sense of right and wrong can lead to concern over wars, starving children, pollution and other injustice and violence. If they are overloaded with images and discussions of these issues, they can become introverted and withdrawn or even suffer from "existential depression."


6) Asynchronous development allows gifted children to intellectually understand abstract concepts but be unable to deal with those concepts emotionally, leading to an intense concerns about death, the future, sex, and other such issues.


7) Asynchronous development can also result in frustration when a gifted child's physical development leads to an inability to complete a task the child is capable of intellectually envisioning. (Perfectionism may play a role in this frustration as well.)


8) Asynchronous development also causes a gifted child to be able to participate in adult conversations about issues such as global warming or world hunger one minute and the next minute cry and whine because a sibling took a favorite toy.


9)Advanced verbal and reasoning ability can lead a gifted child to be argumentative and/or manipulative. (Adults often remark that the child is a little lawyer!) Parents and other adults need to remember that, although credit should be given for logical and convincing arguments, a child is still a child and requires appropriate discipline, no matter how clever or cute the behavior may look. Children who see that they can manipulate adults can feel very insecure.


10) Advanced verbal and reasoning ability can lead a gifted child to be manipulative. (Parents and other adults need to take care that they don't allow this manipulate.)


11) Advanced verbal and reasoning ability can lead a gifted child to try to outsmart parents and teachers.


12) Sophisticated vocabulary and advanced sense of humor can cause gifted children to be misunderstood, which can make them feel inferior and rejected. (This is one reason gifted children prefer to be around older children and adults.)


13) Virtually all their traits can make them feel "different," even at a very early age. It's important, therefore, to get them together with children like them and with people who understand them. (This can be difficult.)

Credits to Chea Yee Mun, T3

Video Games and Children

by Bernard Cesarone

Video games were first introduced in the 1970s. By the end of that decade they had become a preferred childhood leisure activity, and adults responded with concern about the possible ill effects of the games on children. Early research on these effects was inconclusive. However, a resurgence in video game sales that began in the late 1980s after the introduction of the Nintendo system has renewed interest in examining the effects of video games.

Some research suggests that playing video games may affect some children's physical functioning. Effects range from triggering epileptic seizures to causing heart rate and blood pressure changes. Serious adverse physical effects, however, are transient or limited to a small number of players. Research has also identified benefits associated with creative and prosocial uses of video games, as in physical rehabilitation and oncology (Funk, 1993). Proponents of video games suggest that they may be a friendly way of introducing children to computers, and may increase children's hand-eye coordination and attention to detail.

Video Game Use by Children

Recent studies of television watching by children have included measures of the time children spend playing video games. In 1967, the average sixth-grader watched 2.8 hours of television per day. Data from 1983 indicated that sixth-graders watched 4.7 hours of television per day, and spent some additional time playing video games.

A recent study (Funk, 1993) examined video game playing among 357 seventh and eighth grade students. The adolescents were asked to identify their preference among five categories of video games. The two most preferred categories were games that involved fantasy violence, preferred by almost 32% of subjects; and sports games, some of which contained violent subthemes, which were preferred by more than 29%. Nearly 20% of the students expressed a preference for games with a general entertainment theme, while another 17% favored games that involved human violence. Fewer than 2% of the adolescents preferred games with educational content.

The study found that approximately 36% of male students played video games at home for 1 to 2 hours per week; 29% played 3 to 6 hours; and 12 percent did not play at all. Among female students who played video games at home, approximately 42% played 1 to 2 hours and 15% played 3 to 6 hours per week. Nearly 37% of females did not play any video games. The balance of subjects played more than 6 hours per week. Results also indicated that 38% of males and 16% of females played 1 to 2 hours of video games per week in arcades; and that 53% of males and 81% of females did not play video games in arcades.

Rating Video Game Violence

Ratings of video game violence have developed as an extension of ratings of television violence. Among those organizations that have attempted to rate television violence, the National Coalition on Television Violence (NCTV) has also developed a system to rate the violent content of video games. The NCTV system contains ratings that range from XUnfit and XV (highly violent) to PG and G ratings. Between summer and Christmas of 1989, NCTV surveyed 176 Nintendo video games. Among the games surveyed, 11.4% received the XUnfit rating. Another 44.3% and 15.3% received the other violent ratings of XV and RV, respectively. A total of 20% of games received a PG or G rating (NCTV, 1990).

The Sega company, which manufactures video games, has developed a system for rating its own games as appropriate for general, mature, or adult audiences, which it would like to see adopted by the video game industry as a whole. The Nintendo company, in rating its games, follows standards modeled on the system used by the Motion Picture Association of America.

A problem shared by those who rate violence in television and video games is that the definition of violence is necessarily subjective. Given this subjectivity, raters have attempted to assess antisocial violence more accurately by ranking violent acts according to severity, noting the context in which violent acts occur, and considering the overall message as pro- or anti- violence. However, the factor of context is typically missing in video games. There are no grey areas in the behavior of game characters, and players are rarely required to reflect or make contextual judgments (Provenzo, 1992).

Effects of Violence in Video Games

The NCTV claims that there has been a steady increase in the number of video games with violent themes. Games rated as extremely violent increased from 53% in 1985 to 82% in 1988. A 1988 survey indicated that manufacturers were titling their games with increasingly violent titles (NCTV, 1990). Another survey found that 40 of the 47 top-rated Nintendo video games had violence as a theme.

An early study on the effects of video games on children found that playing video games had more positive effects on children than watching television. A conference sponsored by Atari at Harvard University in 1983 presented preliminary data which failed to identify ill effects. More recent research, however, has begun to find connections between children's playing of violent video games and later aggressive behavior. A research review done by NCTV (1990) found that 9 of 12 research studies on the impact of violent video games on normal children and adolescents reported harmful effects. In general, while video game playing has not been implicated as a direct cause of severe psycho-pathology, research suggests that there is a short-term relationship between playing violent games and increased aggressive behavior in younger children (Funk, 1993).

Because it is likely that there is some similarity in the effect of viewing violent television programs and playing violent video games on individuals' aggressive behavior, those concerned with the effects of video games on children should take note of television research. The consensus among researchers on television violence is that there is a measurable increase of from 3% to 15% in individuals' aggressive behavior after watching violent television. A recent report of the American Psychological Association claimed that research demonstrates a correlation between viewing and aggressive behavior (Clark, 1993).

Effects of Other Characteristics of Video Games

Some adults believe that video games offer benefits over the passive medium of television. Among mental health professionals, there are those who maintain that in playing video games, certain children can develop a sense of proficiency which they might not otherwise achieve. However, other authorities speculate that performing violent actions in video games may be more conducive to children's aggression than passively watching violent acts on television. According to this view, the more children practice violence acts, the more likely they are to perform violent acts (Clark, 1993). Some educational professionals, while allowing that video games permit children to engage in a somewhat creative dialogue, maintain that this engagement is highly constrained compared to other activities, such as creative writing (Provenzo, 1992).

Another problem seen by critics of video games is that the games stress autonomous action rather than cooperation. A common game scenario is that of an anonymous character performing an aggressive act against an anonymous enemy. One study (Provenzo, 1992) found that each of the top 10 Nintendo video games was based on a theme of an autonomous individual working alone against an evil force. The world of video games has little sense of community and few team players. Also, most video games do not allow play by more than one player at a time.

The social content of video games may influence children's attitudes toward gender roles. In the Nintendo games, women are usually cast as persons who are acted upon rather than as initiators of action; in extreme cases, they are depicted as victims. One study (Provenzo, 1992) found that the covers of the 47 most popular Nintendo games depicted a total of 115 male and 9 female characters; among these characters, 20 of the males struck a dominant pose while none of the females did. Thirteen of the 47 games were based on a scenario in which a woman is kidnapped or has to be rescued.

Studies have indicated that males play video games more frequently than females. Television program producers and video game manufacturers may produce violent shows and games for this audience. This demand for violence may not arise because of an innate male desire to witness violence, but because males are looking for strong role models, which they find in these shows and games (Clark, 1993).

Conclusion

Given inconclusive research, recommendations concerning video games must be conservative. According to researcher Jeanne Funk (1993), a ban on video games is:

probably not ... in the child's best interests. Limiting playing time and monitoring game selection according to developmental level and game content may be as important as similar parental management of television privileges. Parents and professionals should also seek creative ways to increase the acceptance, popularity, and availability of games that are relatively prosocial, educational, and fun. (p.89)

Posted by Ng Boon Yong, T3

Foster Care Associated With Improved Growth, Intelligence Compared to Orphanage Care

ScienceDaily (Apr. 5, 2010) — Socially deprived children removed from orphanages and placed in foster care appear to experience gains in growth and intelligence, catching up to their non-institutionalized peers on many measures, according to a report in Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, one of the JAMA/Archives journals.

Social deprivation -- a lack of access to social and material resources -- is known to be associated with a syndrome of poor growth in children, according to background information in the article.

"Several subtypes have been described, though all share two characteristics: otherwise unexplained growth failure occurring in association with socially stressful conditions and significant catch-up when a child's caregiving environment improves," said Dana Johnson, M.D., Ph.D., the principal investigator of the study.

Johnson and his colleagues in the Medical School studied 136 healthy institutionalized infants (average age 21 months) from six orphanages in Bucharest, Romania. Of these, half were randomly assigned to remain in their facilities and half were assigned to a foster care program. Their growth rates and measures of intelligence over time were assessed, and they were compared with each other and with a group of 72 never-institutionalized children at 30, 42 and 54 months of age. Caregiving environments were evaluated by analyzing and coding 90-minute videotapes of the children interacting with their preferred caregivers.

At the beginning of the study, institutionalized children displayed compromised growth and development, with more severe deficits among those who were born weighing less than 5.5 lbs.. Children assigned to foster care showed rapid increases in height and weight (but not head circumference), so that by 12 months, 100 percent of them were in the normal range for height, 90 percent were in the normal range for weight, and 94 percent were in the normal range of weight for height.

Caregiving quality was a predictor of this catch-up growth. Components of the caregiving-quality score positively correlated with catch-up included sensitivity (child-centered, contingent responses) and positive regard for the child (acceptance, respect and warmth, including expressions of physical affection).

Children whose height caught up to normal levels also appeared to improve their cognitive (thinking, learning and memory) abilities. Each incremental increase of one in standardized height scores between baseline and 42 months was associated with an average increase of 12.6 points in verbal IQ.

"The significance of these findings extends beyond the millions of children worldwide within institutional or conventional foster care to the hundreds of millions of impoverished children who have stunted growth and/or do not meet their developmental potential and are living within families," Johnson said. "Psychosocial deprivation within any caregiving environment during early life is as detrimental as malnutrition and must be viewed with as much concern as any severely debilitating childhood disease."

Posted by Teoh Goon Hooi, T3

Childhood Sleep Problems and Alcohol/drug Problems in Young Adulthood

ScienceDaily (Apr. 5, 2010) — Sleep problems are a major public-health issue in the United States. In 2006, for example, more than half of 6th to 12th graders reported feeling tired or sleepy, and more than 30 percent reported having problems remaining asleep during the night. A first-of-its-kind study has found a long-term relationship between childhood sleep problems and subsequent alcohol and drug outcomes.

Results will be published in the June 2010 issue of Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research and are currently available at Early View.

"About one in 10 parents/caregivers think that their toddlers, preschoolers, and children have a sleep problem," said Maria M. Wong, associate professor in the department of psychology at, Idaho State University, citing several studies. "The prevalence of problem sleepiness among adolescents and young adults, ages 12 to 25 years, is not only high but also increasing. Some serious consequences include increased risk of unintentional injuries or death, such as car accidents, low academic performance, negative moods, and increased use of alcohol and drugs."

"Sleep and sleepiness problems are important issues in childhood and adolescence," added Tim Roehrs, director of research at the Sleep Disorders and Research Center at the Henry Ford Hospital. "There are emerging data that the prevalence of chronic insomnia in children and adolescents is not that different than that seen in adults. There also are emerging data that there is morbidity associated with insomnia and sleepiness in childhood and adolescence -- school and social problems and the data of the present study now add substance problems."

Wong explained that her group's previous work had shown an association between childhood sleep problems and the early onset of substance use in adolescence. "In those studies, overtiredness and having trouble sleeping predicted onset of alcohol, cigarette, and illicit drug use among boys and onset of alcohol use only among girls," she said. "Most of our participants are young adults right now. So we wanted to test for the association between sleep problems and substance problems now that they are older."

For this family study, researchers had secured the participation of 386 adolescents (292 boys, 94 girls). Data on sleep problems and substance use were gathered in six regular waves -- at three to five, six to eight, nine to 11, 12 to 14, 15 to 17, and 18 to 20 years of age -- as well as in seven annual waves, from ages 11 to 17.

"We found that 'having trouble sleeping' in early childhood, ages three to five, predicted a higher probability of 'having trouble sleeping' in adolescence, ages 11 to 17, which in turn predicted the presence of drug-related problems in young adulthood ages 18 to 21," said Wong. "Overtiredness in early childhood predicted lower response inhibition -- that is, having problems inhibiting impulses and behavior -- in adolescence, which predicted higher numbers of illicit drugs used. Overtiredness in childhood also directly predicted the presence of binge drinking, blackouts, driving after drinking alcohol, and the number of lifetime alcohol problems in young adulthood."

"As a specialist in sleep and sleep-disorders medicine and also alcoholism and drug abuse," said Roehrs, "I was not surprised by this report. However, I suspect the pediatrician or family-care physician and the lay person may be surprised. Despite some design issues, this study is an important first step in understanding the relation between sleep problems and substance use problems, particularly among adolescents. Previous studies that have reported such a relation are cross-sectional. This is the first prospective study and it is important from that perspective. Secondly, possible mediators of this relation have been identified."

Wong noted that her study does not directly explain why this relationship exists. "Childhood sleep problems appear to have both direct and indirect effects -- via sleep trouble and response inhibition in adolescence -- on subsequent substance-related outcomes," she said. "Additionally, our previous work showed childhood sleep problems were associated with early onset of alcohol and drug use, which was a well-established risk factor for subsequent alcohol and drug related problems. This suggests a marker of alcohol problems that may be detectable very early in the life course."

"The bottom line is, sleep is important," said Roehrs. "Even if it is not causal for this relation, improving sleep will modify and minimize the risks. In the addicted adult, at least the alcoholic, sleep problems that remain after the initial acute withdrawal are predictive of relapse."

Wong suggested several steps. "First, it is important to increase public awareness of the significance of sleep problems in children, and their potential effect on self-control and later substance use and abuse," she said. "Second, substance abuse prevention and intervention programs need to consider the relationships among sleep problems, self-control, and the increased risk for substance abuse. Third, health care providers may need to become more aware of the potential serious consequences of childhood sleep problems, and provide treatment when sleep disturbances are clinically indicated."

Adapted from materials provided by Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research, via EurekAlert!, a service of AAAS.

Posted by Teoh Goon Hooi, T3

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder Linked to High Prevalence of Epilepsy

ScienceDaily (Apr. 5, 2010) — Fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD) refers to a range of negative developmental outcomes that result from maternal drinking during pregnancy. Children with FASD can suffer from many problems, including epilepsy, a disorder characterized by spontaneous recurrence of unprovoked seizures that affects 0.6 percent of the general population. A new study has found a much higher prevalence of epilepsy or history of seizures in individuals with FASD.

Results will be published in the June 2010 issue of Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research and are currently available at Early View.

"There are very few studies that have examined the relationship between seizures and epilepsy among individuals with FASD," noted James Reynolds, a senior scientist with the department of pharmacology and toxicology and the Centre for Neuroscience Studies, at Queens University. Reynolds is one of the study's authors.

"Many patients with epilepsy have a history of exposure to a prenatal insult, so we reasoned that prenatal exposure to alcohol could be such an epileptogenic insult," added Peter Carlen, a neurologist and senior scientist for the division of fundamental neurobiology at the Toronto Western Hospital, another of the study's authors. "Secondly, there is a significant overlap in brain structures that suffer from deficits as a result of chronic prenatal alcohol exposure and those that are associated with seizures, specifically in the brain's hippocampus. Thirdly, previous studies had failed to examine other complications that occur in mothers who drink alcohol during pregnancy, such as the effects of drinking on seizure activity. Finally, previous studies used small sample sizes and failed to clearly define seizures and FASD."

"Recently, scientists have begun investigating whether fetal alcohol exposure increases the risk for developing other behavioral health and neurological problems," added Dan Savage, Regents' Professor and chair of neurosciences at the University of New Mexico. "Indeed, evidence has begun to suggest that children with FASD are at greater risk for alcoholism, substance abuse or depression later in life. While it is too soon in the relatively young history of this research field to assess whether maternal drinking during pregnancy increases the risk of aging-related neurologic disorders, such as stroke or Parkinson's disease, several recent large-scale retrospective studies have examined whether fetal alcohol exposure increases the risk of developing epilepsy."

For this study, researchers examined the histories of 425 individuals (254 males, 171 females), between the ages of two and 49 years, from two FASD clinics. Relationships between a confirmed FASD diagnosis and other risk factors -- such as exposure to alcohol or other drugs, type of birth, and trauma -- were examined for the co-occurrence of epilepsy or a history of seizures.

"This study revealed a much higher prevalence of epilepsy and seizure history in individuals with a diagnosis of FASD," said Stephanie H. Bell, a researcher with the Centre for Neuroscience Studies at Queens University and corresponding author for the study. "In the general population, less than one percent are expected to develop epilepsy; of those with FASD, six percent had epilepsy and 12 percent had one or more seizures in their life. Subjects were more likely to have epilepsy, or a history of seizures, if exposure to alcohol had occurred in the first trimester or throughout the entire pregnancy."

"While this report supports a growing impression that fetal alcohol exposure may predispose the immature brain to the development of epilepsy, the results do not establish a direct cause-effect relationship between FASD and epilepsy," cautioned Savage. "Establishing a direct link between these clinical conditions will be a difficult challenge given our incomplete understanding of how ethanol damages the developing brain and what neuropathological changes in brain tissue lead to the development of different types of epilepsy."

Nonetheless, Savage added that it is clear that alcohol can damage the fetal brain. "The extent to which this damage leads to adverse neurobehavioral consequences likely depends upon a multitude of factors, including the amount and patterns of drinking during pregnancy, the presence of other pregnancy risk factors, such as cigarette smoking, substance abuse, or poor prenatal care, and the presence of other diseases affecting a mother's health, such as diabetes or high blood pressure," he said. "As risk factors accumulate, the risk of adverse neurodevelopmental outcomes also increases."

"Epilepsy and/or seizures in children are often missed in clinical assessments," noted Carlen, "and if it is untreated it can lead to increased or unrecognized cognitive problems. In the long-term, it can also result in problems in attention and memory and the risk of unattended and dangerous seizures. Many children may not have a predisposition to epilepsy and do not have the physical signs of FASD, but the physician should be aware of alcohol exposure during pregnancy when considering their patient's health and the etiology of particular diagnoses."

"This report builds on a growing body of evidence that maternal drinking during pregnancy may put a child at greater risk for an even wider variety of neurologic and behavioral health problems than we had appreciated before," said Savage. "The consensus recommendation of scientists and clinical investigators, along with public health officials around the world, is very clear -- a woman should abstain from drinking during pregnancy as part of an overall program of good prenatal care that includes good nutrition, adequate exercise, sufficient rest, and proper prenatal health care."

Posted by Lew Hui Teng, T3